As a sahm, do you believe that your home should be spotless?

newlywed26 · March 2011

Even though it isn't spotless everyday, I do feel pressure to keep a perfect house, and I stress when things get messy and all over the place. I do make sure that the house is tidy every night before dh comes home. I just don't get to do things like organize cabinets and wet mop floors as much as I would like. If your house isn't spotless, do you feel guilty about it? It's silly, but I do. I understand that I'm busy all day with two little ones who don't sleep during the day much, and we're reading, doing puzzles, doing playdates, running errands etc., but I still feel that pressure. I have a friend who made an annoying comment the other day. I was telling her how spotless one of my friend's houses is and how perfect everything is, and she goes "well she stays home all day so it should be spotless all the time, and she should be a fabulous cook. What else is she doing all day?" That annoyed me. I don't know why I would allow it to, but it did. Just curious to see if anyone feels the pressure.

Jerseygirl16 · March 2011

No, I like the downstairs to be tidy so I'm not tripping over things and I need the kitchen counters clear and clean or I hate being in there cooking so I keep up with that but everything else I cut myself slack on. The upstairs is the hardest part to keep up with.

Ljojo · March 2011

Nope. I feel like I'm far too busy to keep my house spotless!

newlywed26 · March 2011

KitCat1:
MalloryRae:

A comment like that deserves a punch in the nose.....just sayin'......

Agreed.

My house is usually neat-ish. I feel that a spotless house doesn't make for a happy family, because they're too uptight about everything being perfect. I'm not perfect and my house reflects that. And my kids are usually happy.

I agree. I'm totally not perfect....far from it actually. My home is decently clean, and dh isn't complaining, so why am I? Of course things can always be better, but they're good enough. Thanks for straightening me out ;-)

Jerseygirl16 · March 2011

And I almost feel like it was easier to keep the house clean when I was working (and didn't have kids) or it would be easier if I was working now and they were in daycare. Yes, I'd have to do it early in the morning or late at night but at least it would stay that way. When we are in the house it gets trashed over and over all day and it's hard to keep up with.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · March 2011

Heh, no. I am a sahm not a sah-housekeeper. My job, first and foremost, is to take care of ds. Anything else I do on top of it is a bonus.

That being said, I hate clutter. It bugs me and I try to take care of things as I go along. Thankfully, we just moved an have an additional living space where all of ds's toys and things can go where I don't have to look at them if I don't want to. We usually pick up at bedtime, but sometimes the time gets away from us and getting him to sleep on time is more important than a picked up basement.

lucylea · March 2011

I would say my house is probably cleaner than most and a lot of people would probably consider my house spotless, but my standards are insanely high and distorted so I myself would not. Unfortunately, this belief is here whether I'm working or staying home. So, yes, I do feel pressure to make the house "perfect" but its completely self-imposed. My DH couldn't care less as long as we don't completely run out of clean laundry and dishes.

Stacyc625 · March 2011

Life isn't perfect-

so who are we trying to fool?

I would rather my kids be happy- running around playing outside, learning and laughing and have a neat house- rather them watch me clean scrub and scour all day. Kids come first- everything else is gravy.

Daisy77 · March 2011

Nope. It could be spotless, but I'd be exhausted and frankly, no one would care. I settle for lived-in. And a gourmet cook I am not. Hell, I had to do research to buy pots and pans, lol.

eaglesfan700 · March 2011

My house is most definitely NOT spotless and I do not feel guilty about it.

I do like things to be picked up - I am anal about things laying around, messy countertops, made beds, laundry and dishes in the sink. So the house is never a mess, but at any given time there are always things I could do.

To be perfectly honest, if I put in the effort I could make and keep it spotless. I have the time (like right now for example) but just don't feel like it. My H is ok with that and helps me with the deep cleaning on weekends

spiritenergy · March 2011

I feel bad if my house is messy beyond my standards, but other than that no. I like my house to be lived in and the kitchen clean. I don't really care what others think.

JOEBunny · March 2011

I think this is a myth. I try to have it company ready, assuming most of my company does not believe that their job is to look through my closets and complain about breakfast dishes in the sink at lunch time or the train in the floor.

Rebekah1021 · March 2011

In theory yes. In reality, not gonna happen.

I like to keep the house clean and picked up, but it's just impossible. DH is a slob who doesn't pick up anything. DD has a crapload of stuff and I like to get out of the house.

Mrs.Reem · March 2011

HA! no.

My first job as SAHM is to care for my kids. Otherwise I'd be a SAHC. (stay at home cleaner.) Any cleaning that I get done in between kids' activities, snacks, ,meals, etc is just a bonus in my book.

With that said, I try to keep the place tidy but much of that happens after the kids are in bed. Not during the day so much. I also know that many others make cleaning more of a priority than I do. I'm cool with that.

ETA: Oh wow. I wrote this before reading the responses and didn't realize that I practically copied someone else's reply. lol Great minds think alike! :: high five ::

ExpatFamily06 · March 2011

My house is tidy and picked up, and every night everything gets put away before LO goes to bed, but I admit that my furniture gets neglected in the dusting area and my toilets don't get the attention they deserve. However, I am anal about clutter and messes so it bothers me if things aren't done. Dh could care less.

almostjennifer · March 2011

IMO a standard like that is setting yourself up for failure. My house won't be on "Hoarders" and I don't think CPS could be called -- so we're good. Wink

Honestly, I try to keep up on it, but with a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old plus two dogs and a messy husband; it would take 2-3 hours per day to keep it "spotless" and that's not why I quit working.

almostjennifer · March 2011

newlywed26:

Even though it isn't spotless everyday, I do feel pressure to keep a perfect house, and I stress when things get messy and all over the place. I do make sure that the house is tidy every night before dh comes home. I just don't get to do things like organize cabinets and wet mop floors as much as I would like. If your house isn't spotless, do you feel guilty about it? It's silly, but I do. I understand that I'm busy all day with two little ones who don't sleep during the day much, and we're reading, doing puzzles, doing playdates, running errands etc., but I still feel that pressure. I have a friend who made an annoying comment the other day. I was telling her how spotless one of my friend's houses is and how perfect everything is, and she goes "well she stays home all day so it should be spotless all the time, and she should be a fabulous cook. What else is she doing all day?" That annoyed me. I don't know why I would allow it to, but it did. Just curious to see if anyone feels the pressure.

Confused

wifeandmama · March 2011

I personally feel better when my house is clean clean clean. Unfortunately, my baby doesn't like to be worn or left to play on his own, so I'm holding him - ALWAYS. Sometimes during NAPS! So my 2-handed time is limited these days.

When I had 1 kid - my house was pretty spotless. It's always guest-ready within minutes and clean, just not as perfect as I'd prefer, but I know it's just temporary.

SpartanGirl · March 2011

I really LIKE it when my house is very clean, but the reality is with 3 small kids it's more often messy than not. I try to remind myself that I have a lot of years to clean my house but only a few to really enjoy my kids being young. I still WANT to have a clean house though and sometimes I do feel guilty about it.

twh2006 · March 2011

I try. I really do.. however sometimes like this past week lol. It's far from it. So I have some catching up to do which is proving difficult since the lo is giving up his morning nap and just taking a 2.5 hour afternoon one. I'm not sweating it.

I can really cook. But that's just because I can. Some people craft, I can't craft to save my life. However, I can cook!

MamatoJackson · March 2011

No way... In fact, I think it's way easier to have a spotless home if you work, to be honest... no one's home to mess it up!

beautifulstr13 · March 2011

I dont feel like it should be spotless but it should be easy to clean in a snap. I think all surfaces should be cleaned daily with something even if you didnt cook. My problem is my husband is a packrat and never cleans up his mess. He thinks everything should be out in the open for him to get to but I want everything in its place. I never worry about the living room. It is Liams play area and there is no use trying to clean until he goes down for bed.

Que*Syrah · March 2011

I feel like there's no excuse for my house not being orderly. There's very few nights after DS goes to bed that I can't pick up the toys, shoes, etc. and tidy up. As far as vacuuming, mopping, dusting, etc, there is only so much that can be done in a day when you've got little ones.

I've always felt pressured to keep a spotless home, even before kids. Luckily I've learned to mellow over time and prioritize.

zeesbride · March 2011

Ha, Yes.....before I was one

tma024 · March 2011

No I don't think it has to be spotless. My house is tidy I make sure the kitchen and living room are picked up every night before we go to bed. But like my DH pointed out if I were working I wouldn't be home to clean and get stuff done and this is my job now to raise our son. Now when he is taking his nap I make sure to get things done. I will mop the floors, do laundry, vaccum, I can even get some deep cleaning done. But first and foremost my job is to raise our son and like my dh says I probably work harder then him most days.

JMB22 · March 2011

No, I don't think being a SAHM means having a spotless house. I try my best, and my clean freak tendencies take over sometimes, but my house is not spotless. I would much rather spend time with my son than keep a spotless house. I understand the pressure of feeling like you need to keep a spotless house because you are a SAHM though; I feel that same pressure/guilt sometimes. As long as your house is relatively clean, your kids won't remember how sparkling your floor was as much as they will remember all the fun times you all had playing/learning together; that's what I try to tell myself.

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