Blessingway Invitation Wording
Any suggestions on how to word a Blessingway invitation? My MIL is hosting one for my SIL's 2nd baby and most of the family/friends being invited have never even heard of a Blessingway, let alone attended one. SIL suggested this:
It is traditional to give handmade gifts at a Mother Blessing. However, if you are not crafty, a "handmade" gift can come in many forms including:
- A poem to read or song to sing at the Mother Blessing
- A dish to be frozen and eaten after the baby arrives but before anyone feels like cooking
- "Coupons" for babysitting, house cleaning or dog walking to be "redeemed" after the baby is born
How can we make the wording simpler? Particularly since the this whole experience is WAY out of the comfort zone for most of the invitees; they're used to just buying something off of a registry! TIA!!
Re: Blessingway Invitation Wording
I have never heard of this, and can't think of a good way to say, "She's having her second baby, here's a list of things you can choose to give her." Honestly, I don't think it's ever good to dictate what types of gifts are given. The logistics of a handmade gift are difficult. What if I make a frozen dish, but live 2 hours from the shower site, and have nowhere to store it at the shower, so it basically thaws and may be ruined? Again, coupons - if I live 2 hours from the mom-to-be, and give her a coupon for babysitting, how can I say "no" if she asks me to babysit at an inconvenient time - it was my gift to her after all.
I realize someone could say that a registry is the same thing, but to me, it's not. I can choose to buy off a registry or not, and once I purchase the item, I'm done.
So I'm assuming that you are American Indian and this is a cultural event? I googled blessing way and everything comes up as it being a part of the American Indian culture, but also says gifts are not the main reason for this type of shower, but rather to bless the mother as part of a cultural ritual. It seems to me you all are just a little too focused on the gift part and not the spiritual part.
I found this description of a blessing way online and would include this in the invitation. If people want to bring gifts they will ask the hosts for suggestions, to me it seems to cheapen the significance of the ceremony to mention gifts.
History of Blessing Ways
Blessing ways are traditional to North American Indian?s who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. This rite of passage is the second ?blood rite? for a woman, the first being her first menstruation. It is a time of receiving for the mother to be, a time where she is nurtured and honoured by her community of women.
The Blessing Way ceremony acknowledges the commitment and energy involved in being a mother and gives her a time where all the energy is available for her to receive. This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment and surrender. The key is for the ?mother to be? to allow herself to receive and ?fill her cup? as deeply as possible. The blessing way is also a powerful way to assist in the mother?s preparation for birth. It gives other mothers present in the circle the opportunity to share experiences. Often it is a time when the ?mother to be? can express any fears or worries in a safe and sacred setting and receive the support she needs.
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Under this definition, this kind of thing would not be proper because the SIL already had a child, so she is not making the transition "from maiden to mother."
It then appears to me that this is a grab for gifts posed at a cultural event.
If you read the entire History, it also says, "This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment and surrender."
My SIL is not American Indian, but she's extremely granola (for lack of a better term) and she's really into nature/mother earth oriented type stuff. So when the family offered to do a little something for her, this was what she came up with since she didn't want a traditional baby shower because they already have pretty much everything they need.
The invitation wording that she sent us included a ton of detail about what a Blessingway is and ALL of the rituals she's having as a part of it. (It's going to take FOREVER!!) We've already worked through some of the wording to make it sound a little less intimidating; let's face it, the phrase "wrist binding" is not something that naturally conjures up images of love and celebration. It's just the gift part that we're struggling with because she really wants people to understand that this is not a traditional shower and that any gifts should be small, meaningful (preferably homemade) gifts.
We just decided to update the invitation to ask for people to bring a bead for the mother's necklace for labor and delivery and leave off the gift part and just let folks call to ask about that. (You know, pretty much like any other "normal" baby/wedding shower invitation would.) Oh, I should also mention that she's "asking" for special homemade items... And the Blessingway is in just over 2 weeks. I know that I don't have time to make something in 2 weeks, so she's just getting a store bought gift from me.
I read all the rituals that could be done and was overwhelmed, so I would just keep that to yourselves for now. Like you said how do you explain "wrist binding"..LOL!
I think leaving off the gift part is a good idea. People who want to do something will call so I don't think you have to worry about that, but it could be hard for them to do homemade gifts in 2 weeks. Yikes!
This sounds interesting. I hope you all have a good time.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I was thinking about having a blessingway too. It's important to honor the mother to be and baby with a gathering of her female support group with some sort of ritual or celebration. It is not surprising that in our consumer culture we think showing up for a couple of hours with bags and boxes filled with "things" is how we choose to mark this momentus occasion in our community. I would say, "In lieu of presents, please bring a small inexpensive or handmade gift for the mother." If she's really crunchy like me she would like a special journal, organic belly oil, pretty accessory or some personal token of affection like a poem written to the baby.
Good luck with the planning. I wouldn't recommend doing a lot of the rituals associated with the blessingway especially if the guests would be uncomfortable or out of their element. Just make it clear that it is about celebrating the mother and blessing her as she is about to go through a life-changing experience. Have peaceful music playing, choose a beautiful natural setting and encourage casual and warm interactions.
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