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S/O Money: Where do you and DH differ?
What money things do you and DH really differ on?
For us it's cars. H is a car person. He likes luxury cars and will spend a lot of money on them. He drives a nice car. I drive a beat up Highlander which I am totally happy with. I really don't care much for cars. My philosophy is that they're a horrid place to put your money as they depreciate in value from the moment you own them. So I look for functionality and reliability. H looks for luxury.
On what things do you and H have different money philosophies? Is it a cause of tension or stress or have you found a way to compromise on it?
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Re: S/O Money: Where do you and DH differ?
I spend waaaaay too much on DS wardrobe and fancy coffee. So we kind of even each other out, lol. It doesn't cause tension, we just go with it.
Hobbies! DH is insane in to collecting sports cards and memorobilia. I'm talking serious hobby. He doesn't just have a box of old baseball cards somewhere from when he was a kid. We have an office and it's piled floor to probably shoulder height all around the room with cards. There are well over 1 million baseball/football/basketball/hockey you name the sport, we got a card for it! He also collects signed items from his favorite players. To me it looks like a giant mess, but he has them all organized and if you ask where a certain card is, he can find it! I don't really have a hobby so to me it's just ridiculous. I would rather buy something nice for the house or do a remodel etc... instead of buying some new high dollar card that just came out.
I am the car person of the family. I don't go for luxury, because we can't afford the newest Lexus or BMW, but I like to drive a nice, loaded car. I spend a lot of time in my car so I warrant it that way.
DH is a spender. I am a saver. I handle our bills, etc. and keep a little extra in the checking account. I put money where DH can't easily get to it. I know its sad and not nice of me, but we wouldn't have much savings otherwise. We actually have monthly allowances for stuff we want to buy. His is always gone. I usually have money left over and socked away.
DH is a total electronics/gaming/tv goof. He tried to talk me into him buying a new PS3...he already has one. This one just has more memory or some such. I could care less about electronics, etc.
I, however, am a foodie and kitchen gadget nerd. I could easily drop $$$ at BB&B or Williams Sonoma. I just don't allow myself in those stores.
My DH too! It's crazy. Cards and comic books. We have a room in our basement filled with this crappola. I can't stand it and want to throw them all away!
My H loves anything related to the Civil War, history, etc etc. We get packages all of the time from Amazon or off ebay of collectibles and books. It's his thing, which is fine, but man, he has dropped some money on that stuff.
Dh can rationalize buying pretty much anything and it is especially bad when it comes to things like his truck or his guns. He thinks guns are an investment and likes collecting them-- I dont mind that he wants to buy new guns, I get that its his hobby but I guess I dont understand the point of having a closet full of guns that in reality he doesnt shoot very often. I am okay with 1 new gun a year (within reason of price...no more than $400) but if he had it his way he would buy a new gun at every gun show.
I on the other hand am a little bit of a tight @ss when it comes to spending money. I am really working on not holding on to my "things" so tightly. Afterall, its just stuff/money- it wont be going with me when I'm gone. The one thing I do like to splurge on is clothes but even with that I am cheap-- I only buy on sale or second hand. Like pp, I cant remember the last time I bought something for full price unless it was already cheap like $9.99 full price haha. I refuse to spend over $15/shirt or $35/pants...just not worth it IMO.
DH would never buy new clothes, a new car, furniture for the house or anything outside of food and occassional beer money if I didn't push him on it. He would throw every dime into retirement if he had 100% say in the matter. I, on the other hand, have a slight clothing addiction.
That being said, he has taught me to be disciplined about saving money and I have taught him you have to enjoy some of the fruits of our labor. I mean you can't spend it when you're dead, KWIM.
It's worked out really well for us. I've learned to save and he's learned to spend. We really compliment each other in that way. We also have separate accounts for our own personal spending that the other cannot monitor/judge/criticize. We jointly decided how much each contributes to the monthly household budget/retirement/savings and how much we can keep for our own personal spending. It knocks out a lot of the arguments about the little things.
This! Drives me insane. For this reason alone, he isn't *allowed* to go to the grocery store without a very specific list.
We don't have any major differences really. I think more or less we encourage each other to justify purchases. For instance, I never had a new car until DH was adamant that I have the experience of not having to drive a used car. I would have never done that on my own. With only one of us working for the last 4 years, the dynamic of having a great deal of disposable income hasn't been around which for us means there isn't a whole lot to disagree about.
I will say the one thing that drives me a little nuts is when he comes home from the grocery store being overcharged because he doesn't look at receipts or the register when checking out. I think I'm kind of freakish about that though because I can typically remember down to the penny how much something should cost when I glance at the price while picking the item up. He has too much faith in their scanners.
This is pretty much us, too. I'm sure DH would be happy if I spent a little less on clothes/shoes, but he's never complained about it and he often says how appreciative he is that we all look nice.
This happens in our house too. One time DH bought a head of romaine and the girl rang it up as asparagus which was like $6 more! I was wrestling with both kids and didn't notice. You better believe I went back in the store and ended up getting it for free.
We don't have many differences...we actually have a pretty good checks and balances system. We are both pretty frugal, but of the 2 of us, DH is the spender. I am actually a little neurotic about saving. I am not comfortable AT ALL if it even remotely appears that our liquid assets will dip below a certain level. Our financial planner laughs and always has to ask me if certain financial moves will make me too stressed out. He actually used the term "emotional investing."
Jennie
DH and I are completely different. He lived large on the single lifestyle and did whatever he wanted. When we first started dating, he called and asked if I was busy because he wanted to go to Vegas and drive a stock car. He went, I didn't (I was 20). He has traveled, gone out, and been fine with it.
I'm a cheapskate. I have a hard time buying anything because I know I can find it cheaper somewhere else. DH wanted to buy me a couch for my birthday, and he would go and buy one. We didn't get it. Partially because I know that we have baby and taxes coming up, and I want to stay ahead of those things.
I guess our difference is that I think long term, DH thinks more month to month.
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My husband panics over every purchase. Zoo pass? Too much. Pool pass? Too much. Tumblebees? Too much. Shoes? Clothes for DD? Too much. Groceries? Too much. My restaurant pick? Too much. Extra cell phone just bc? Oh fantastic. Highest tv service? sounds great. beer? perfect.
Of course, I buy these things anyways even after he panics about them. Maybe that is where we differ the most. hehe.
DH is much more of a spender than I. I only feel comfortable if our checking/savings accounts have a certain amount of money in them whereas he doesn't even bother to check. I think I tend to look more long-term while he lives very in the moment. We don't really argue about it for the most part, though.
We discuss large purchases and he has an "allowance" in cash that he uses each week for his beer, coffee and cigarettes and whatever else he wants. The cigarettes drive me insane, so we had to go to the allowance thing so that I couldn't comment on what he is purchasing. I'd rather not know than get upset every time I see a gas station on our debit card.
My biggest financial gripe with him is that he refuses to get direct deposit. I don't know why, but it bugs the crap out of me.
He'd proabably say I spend too much on stupid things at Target and eating out. He might be right.
Photos courtesy of Jen Rose Photography
H is the most financially confusing person I have ever met. For this reason I handle our finances and make sure we have money going into savings and all of our bills are paid. He is a savor for somethings but a spender on others and I can never quite predict which will be which.
I am not a spender but I have never had a ton of money to save after necessities so I don't pay full price, always coupon and am thrifty.
I like to shop for clothing for me and DD. Before we were married, I probably spent $300/month on clothes and shoes for myself. However, now, I am totally cheap. I always have a coupon or a gift card or something, unless I'm buying a shirt for $8.99 at Target. And now that DD's around, I've only been shopping for new clothes once. DD's clothes come from Old Navy on clearance or Carter's, where I don't buy something unless it's 50% off or more and I have a 20% off coupon.
If I could, I'd spend way more $$ on our house. It took me a year and a half to convince DH to buy an entertainment center, and another year to replace our living room rug. He thinks why replace something that is just fine, even if it's old, stained, and mostly broken?
DH spends $ on wine. We've gone to Napa and Sonoma every year for the past 5 years, and along the way DH has picked up wine along the way and signed up for wine clubs. One year alone we flew back 7 cases of wine with us. Now we have a 300-bottle wine fridge, a smaller wine fridge, and a 200-bottle rack that are all almost full. It's insanity. This is something that's getting cut almost completely out now that I'm going to be a SAHM, especially because there's no way we'll physically ever be able to consume it all.