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worried, nervous, scared

CleanQueen151CleanQueen151
in Single Parents

i hope ex bf doesn't log in to see this...

tomorrow is my "temp custody/visitation hearing", does that mean we will only establish the temporary custody of DS until mediation, inspections of home and etc are done. the papers do not say that i need to bring any documentation but ex bf lives out of state so why would they drag him back and forth to court? I cannot afford a lawyer but I've consulated with a lot. and it didn't occur to me until today that the summons actually says temp. on it. anyone else maybe from nj have advice or war stories?

 

thanks ladies

I've been away from BUMP for so long due to too many rude Bumps

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Re: worried, nervous, scared

  • kmartinez80kmartinez80 member
    From my experience, temporary is just that, temporary.  It's just an order that's put in place until the final order can be issued.  For example, my temporary orders hearing was June 2010 and those orders were the custody orders until my divorce was finalized this month.  And it may seem like they are requiring your Ex to travel a lot and be in and out of court, but that's the way the process works.  My XH also lives out of state and had to travel back and forth for every court date (half dozen or so over the past year).  Your Ex could always request to attend telephonically in the future if it's such a burden to travel for court.
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  • Temp552270562505132Temp552270562505132
    hold on.  i know someone who will know the answer to this.  lemme ask her and see what i can find out.  :)  
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  • Temp552270562505132Temp552270562505132

    Ok so I asked someone who is a lawyer in this field in NJ- and this is what I found out:

    -In NJ every custody hearing is a "temporary" custody hearing. NJ considers all custody to be temporary, meaning it can always be changed based on best interests of child standard/substantial changed circumstances.

    -It can always be changed so If you have a hearing to determine temporary custody and visitation it could very well be your "day in court so to speak".

    -And especially If you and the DB are both unrepresented at the hearing, you should be prepared to present all your info and make your case. 

    -NJ is not a "pro se" friendly state at all.  Meaning- get a lawyer- at all costs.   

    Also- it is usually sent to mediation first unless there is a domestic violence component and then they won't do that. 

     

    Hope that helps!  Good luck. 

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  • cbbccbbc
    I know you say you cannot afford an attorney, but you really, really need one. Have you contacted legal aid to see if they can help? These things can get really complicated. Good luck!
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