Newbie and BF question

moonspork · March 2011

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, but I've lurked around occasionally during my pregnancy. I just never posted, but I think I'm going to start now. I hope I didn't miss my window of opprotunity to join in on this board. Smile

My little one, Teagan, was born on 3/5. I wanted to breastfeed initially. After a few weeks I wanted to introduce pumped milk, which would be used once I eventually went back to work.

So...now that Teagan is here, I'm having second thoughts with my whole plan. BF was fine for a few days, but now she seems to forget how to latch on every other time. She gets frustrated and I get frustrated. It takes 10 minutes to get her to latch on for 1-2 minutes and then hse lets go and screams in frustration. I don't think I'm doing anything different. And, I can't imagine how I'm ever going to be able to leave the house to go anywhere with her. I'm not good at discreetly nursing and it is hard when she is flailing her head and won't latch on. We bought a pump yesterday and I felt so bad giving her the bottle today. I thought it would be much easier for her to drink from the bottle, but it seems like it is choking her. So, now feeding her is just giving me anxiety. And I'm worried about overfeeding her with the bottle. DH tells me that I'm worrying too much about everything.

Any advice or anyone having simliar issues with wanting to bf but feel like they are frustrated.

Thanks!

Michelle

Phillychickadee · March 2011

It is so hard! It really is! Even if she would latch perfectly right from the get-go, there are always challenges! Things will get easier, it will take you both some time to get into the swing of things. It hasn't even been two weeks yet. You are both learning; remember, she has never done this before either.

Easier said than done, but try not to let it frustrate you. When you get frustrated and stressed, she senses it.

Don't worry about being discreet right now. Go into another room to nurse if you have visitors. Concentrate on her, and not trying to keep yourself covered. I think I walked around with my chest out for the first 3 months! DH actually got sick of seeing my boobs, I think! :-) And as for her flailing, are you using a nursing pillow? If she is propped well, she might not flail as much.

Remember that even though babies eat frequently, their stomach is so small, so I am sure she is getting plenty. Don't feel bad giving her a bottle every now and again, too. Don't beat yourself up about it.

I was definitely in your shoes and it got so much better after the first month, though we hit bumpy parts again at 5 months, and again at 9 months. If it is important to you to nurse, just keep trying. You can also talk to lactation consultants and other resources if you think it might help.

You are doing great! Keep up the good work!

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · March 2011

BFing is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So I give you props for trying - a lot of people don't!

My first and biggest suggestion: see a lactation consultant ASAP. They are a wealth of information and they will help you tremendously. I hated to think about seeing one because of the cost - but my sanity was worth it.

Try different positions. Try squishing your boob flat to get her teeny mouth on to your boob easier. Are you having a strong let down? Maybe you're getting an over spray and it's kind of choking her. Does she act fussy or weird after she feeds or at other times?

Your milk has just barely started coming in at this point, you are both new at it, she has to figure it out just the same as you do.

You can do this. Your body was made to do this. Good luck!

moonspork · March 2011

Thanks for the encouraging words! I have a boppy pillow, but sometimes I feel liek a regular pillow works better. She flings her head off and then from side to side. I know milk is coming out, since I can squeeze and see it (I was worried she wasn't getting anything and that was why she was frustrated.)

I'm going to try to work on being able to do both pumping and feeding her. This way my husband can feed her occasiionally so I can get some rest.

I shouldn't have expected it to be easy to bf. I don't think I expected it to be, but I'm acting like I did. I see so many other peopple that can do it so I can't figure out why I have issues. But, realistically, I know alot of people have problems. I just feel like the people I know personally had no bumps in the road.

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · March 2011

Another thing that might be a problem, if she's hungry and frustrated, that might make it worse. See if you can put her to the breast before she starts rooting around or showing signs. Might take off her edge and let her be a little more relaxed about it.

What position are you using? When DD was teeny I had to use a foot ball hold with her tucked under my arm, the regular cradle holds didn't work for us until she was bigger. I also almost always, until I stopped, had to hold my boob for her.

msenginerd · March 2011

My little one had this problem. I second seeing a lactation consultant. I had latch issues after my milk came in. She would latch on, then pull off and shake her head side to side like crazy and then scream. I talked to the lactation consultant and a doctor on the phone. I also had a friend that breastfed come over and give me some pointers. I found that expressing a little before feeding her helped her latch in the first few days and that feeding her more often (every 2ish hours) helped her be a little more patient. She was also initially very picky about her positioning and how I held my boob. It will get better.

hispenguin · March 2011

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Your feeding struggles seem just like how E is with feeding. She has out right refused to latch for the last 24 hours, in addition to her usual BFing issues so we've been tube feeding, but we're going to start bottle feeding today to make it easier with outings.

Are you using low flow nipples? They will usually say 0+ months on them. Then you know it's the slowest flow.

We've been tube feeding E formula for almost the last week in addition to whatever BM I am able to pump. BFing is HARD!!!! Do not feel guilty for bottle feeding your LO. I have had many crying fits over my inability to properly BF my DD, but have come to the realization that my body can only do so much and as long as my baby is being fed and thriving, then I am doing a great job as a mother. And so are you.

Sending big Hugs your way.

moonspork · March 2011

I've been trying the cross cradle hold. I can't seem to get her positioned right in the football hold. I think I was getting lazy at one point and was able to go without holding my boob, but it seems like I have to now.

I fed her about an hour ago and she was fine on me. It is like she is a different baby than the last 2 days. My boobs aren't as hard as they were a few days ago so maybe she is able to get at it better. I'm going to try both bottle and boob for a bit. She has to learn a bottle eventually anyways for when I go back to work. I think it will be best if I have my husband do the bottle feedings for a bit. She seemed confused this morning when I gave her the bottle and kept turning towards my chest.

When I tried pumping this morning, I got about 3.5 oz from each side after about 15 mintues of pumping. I think I should be able to pump occasionally to build up a supply.

I was using 0m+ nipples with the Tommee Tippe bottles and we have some Born Free bottles with 0-3 m nipples too. I've fed babies before and it didn't seem like it was as difficult as it was with her. I guess this is just something new to her.

Thank you for the encouragement! It is nice to have a group of people going through the same things.

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · March 2011

3.5 oz from each side!!!!!! At 10 days old that is unreal to me. It took me a lot longer to get up to that much. So I think you're safe on building a stash. You'll want to be careful when pumping this early so that you don't create an over supply...so if you're pumping make sure it is in place of a feeding, not an extra session since your supply seems to be good.

I was unable to feed DD a bottle for months. It also had to be HOT, not just warm, but hot milk. My mom and sister were shocked at how hot they needed to make it for DD to take the bottle.

Glad to hear the last couple days have gotten better. For me BFing was at first "get to a year", then "get to 6 months", and then get through this day. It is hard. Good for you for reaching out somewhere and continuing.

Bluescarf · March 2011

I know exactly what you are talking about. I somehow thought BF would be a no-brainer for me, and it wasn't. My little guy refused to latch for two days, then when we finally got him to latch we took him home and he started the shaking his head side-to-side and screaming. It got so bad I didn't want to BF at all anymore. I would be in tears almost every time, and the middle of the night was the worst. I looked up La Leche League and actually called one of the leaders at 2am! That's how desperate I was. One of the LLL leaders who I hadn't even met yet came to my house and helped me get LO to latch correctly, and gave me lots of tips that really, really helped a lot. First, I wasn't holding my nipple correctly. She said to shape it to his mouth more, like he was biting into a hamburger. Sounded wierd, but worked after a few times. Secondly she had me try different positions to hold him in and I found one that worked! We used that until he got better at latching in less than 10 miniutes. I strongly agree a lactatin consultant can help a lot too. Just keep trying, it gets better! My LO now feeds like a champ, and he gained over 8 ounces at his check-up, where in the beginning he was dehydrated pretty badly. This really made me feel like it was all worth it.

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