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Houston Babies
Moms of preschooler girls - please come in
Maddie is obsessed with motherhood right now. She constantly puts babies under her shirts and pretends she is pregnant. She has been doing this for about a year. Several of her friends' moms have had their 2nd kids lately and some of my friends (like Red_Dahlia - yippee!!!) are pregnant and due any day.
I think what she is doing is completely normal. She is just copying all the mommies she sees and right now, she looks up to mommies as role models.
Yesterday my husband freaked out and sternly told her to stop doing that and it's not right. She looked at me quizzically and normally I try to disagree with him in private but said, "oh honey she does that all the time. Lots of little girls her age play mommy like that." He still sternly said he doesn't like it and it's not right. It is sending a message that it's ok to be pregnant as a kid.
I had no idea someone might think about it from that perspective.
I think i would agree with him more if she was like 11 or 12 pretending to be pregnant. But at 4?? It just seems like normal imaginative play to me.
What do you other moms think? Do your daughters pretend that way? I remember I did (I'd stuff a pillow in my shirt) but maybe i was a freak?
"If you can't say something nice, shut the hell up!"
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Moms of preschooler girls - please come in
Abbie is 6 1/2 and does this all of the time. I went to check on her the other night and she had fallen asleep with a baby doll in her shirt.
Of course it's because I just had a baby and she can't wait to be a Mommy. I think it's completely innocent and also very cute. She tells everyone she wants to have triplets and then twins.
It's all pretend play. I would be concerned if she knew where babies come from and was pretending to have sex to get pregnant, but she has no clue.
IMO - it's no big deal and I'd tell DH to chill.
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
I'm pregnant now, so the "baby in my belly too" is going on alot, but even before then, Belle would put a baby under her shirt as well.
it's no more pretending to be pregnant at 4 years old, than wearing heels and nothing else while sauntering through the house just because is going to turn her into a stripper or a slut. her wanting to wear makeup is just because it's fun to play mommy sometime.
it's role play. it's not saying she wants to be a pregnant 5 year old. I think your husband needs a little playtime.
if it was a boy playing cops and robbers, or army men, and shooting people dead would he be as upset that his son is going to grab a gun and take out the preschool?
it's play. they're 4. if she was 14, you'd have a talk. but let her play.
now how the baby gets out of mommy.....that's a whole new wad of questions I'm battling.
Thank you.
I think he is just freaked out that she will then ask where babies come from and how exactly they get out of her tummy (she has already asked me that - I said they go to the hospital and the doctor helps them and she was happy with that answer). Guess what honey - that is also natural!
I was more concerned about his reaction than her play activity - why would he say it's not right? Is he going to make her self conscious about her body, etc.?
I think he is also uncomfortable because a few days before he observed me when I was teaching her how to bathe herself. She has chronic itchiness and irritation 'down there' so I was explaining she needs to use just warm water and a wash cloth when cleaning her pee pee. She likes step-by-step instructions so I explained, "first you wash in the creases between the legs and the labia. Then you separate the labia and gently use the washcloth and plenty of clean warm water to wash between the labia. Be careful not to use soapy water between the labia because that makes you itchy on your pee pee."
She is very proud that she can talk me through how to clean her pee pee and hearing her say, "labia" freaked him out too.
We talked a lot about a lot of things before we got married. I never thought about discussion how you handle topics like nature with your kids and whether one of us is more puritan than the other about it.
le sigh.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
I was typing when you posted. I actually did ask him that about guns - I asked if letting a kid play shoot-em-up on a video game is telling them it's ok to do it in real life. He snapped back, "I don't want to have this discussion in front of her" which is what I say when we need to take a time out and talk about it when she isn't around so she only gets a united front from us.
And like i said above - i told maddie the doctor at the hospital helps get the baby out and she was fine with that... for now!
Thanks ladies - i have more confidence to tell him to chill!
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
Joshua did this when Gabriel was nursing.
Even in just a year, I've learned that daddies don't understand some of what their daughters do because they didn't do it as a kid. Likely your DH did not play mommy or wedding or the like so he can't understand it. DH doesn't understand why a friend's toddler is obsessed with playing teacher.
I say this because honestly I've never actually seen a child do this.
I never did it as a kid and can't remember any of my 3 younger sisters doing it either. We played with dolls etc but all post delivery
I completely understand that children do what you do so it is a natural phase, but I think I would pause if I saw a little girl or boy doing this. Not judge (see my other post in say anything) but pause. And then go about my business. Children do all kinds of things.
But if you saw your kid doing that, you wouldn't jump his a$$ and tell him to stop because it wasn't right, right?
I think it's different to not understand (like Cali pointed out). I totally get that he wouldn't understand. But if I saw my son doing something that I didn't understand, my first instinct would be to ask my husband, "Do you think that is normal for little boys?" I wouldn't correct him bluntly and tell him to stop doing something he was so proud of himself for doing.
Argh. I just started today. I'm sure I'm much more annoyed by it than i should be. I just remember getting my a$$ jumped for *** my dad was misinformed about and i just don't want that for Maddie.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
DD and her BFF both do it. And her BFF is a BOY. . (is he going to be a teen mother???)
It is no different than wearing daddy's shoes around the house (or will that turn her gay?!?!!
) or wearing princess dresses (which her BFF does too) or them pretending to sweep and vaccuum the house (oh no, not future maids!) or her pretending to be spiderman (OMG, she's going to grow up into a web-slinger!)
DD also likes to nurse her babies and to tell people that only mommy's can nurse babies because daddy nipples are too small. And last week she forced her Pop Pop to nurse a doll too (but he wouldn't let me take a pic). Oh no, is my dad pretending to nurse a baby doll mean he's going to get pregnant?!
Yeah, you're not the freak here.
My girls both have done it. And nursed their children. A friend of ours (a guy) totally freaked out at Mia pretending to nurse a babydoll, but... it's what she saw every 2-3 hours. It was normal for her.
Every kid plays differently. My kids have never really played princesses, others do. My girls both like to pretend they are building things and want power tools. But they also love their baby dolls. Eh, kids are kids.
Dang. No need to ridicule the man.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011