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meany

janeen6789janeen6789 member
in Two Under 2
I need some advice please! I have a 16 month old and a 4 day old. Ive been having major issues with the one year old he is so mean to his little sister! Every chance he gets he is trying to hit her, pinch her, take her blankets/ pacifires. He has his moments when he is nice and wants to give her kisses but even then hes not gentle about it. Im just not sure what to do. I tell him no but he doesnt listen, i try destracting him but he just goes right back. Anyone else out there delt with this? Any tricks to help me would def make my days alot less stressful. Thank you.
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Re: meany

  • roundtheworldgirlroundtheworldgirl member

    It takes time.  He's probably not being mean so much as just not knowing how to behave with a tiny baby.  My DD1 was similar with DD2.  (She was 12 months and 18 days when DD2 was born).  I was afraid to let her hold the baby, but I found that once we did, she started learning how to touch her.  We had DH hold DD1 on his lap, and then he helped her "hold" the baby.  We took her hand and showed her how to touch the baby, saying "gentle, gentle."  Now whenever she gets too rough, I just say "gentle, gentle," in the same tone, and she starts petting her softly.  It's very cute.

    Also, your baby is very young.  Your son hasn't had time to get used to her yet.  Telling him "no" may not be that effective right now because his world has just been turned upside down.  In these early days especially it's important to make a point of having one-on-one cuddle time with the older child to reassure him or her.  It will get easier as he gets used to his sister.

    Hang in there, and congrats on your growing family!

     

    Traveling the world with my girls - born 12 months and 18 days apart.
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member

    First of all, congrats on your new LO! :)

    What I did with DS was before the baby came, I taught him "nice nice". When he would hit, pinch or anything like that, I would tell him no, say "nice nice", and show him how to pet something gently. We practiced on our dogs. :)  When he would be nice, I would make a huge deal about it-tell him he was a good boy, clap, etc.

    Given, now he pets my DD like he would pet a dog, but it's better than hitting. :)  He does have moments where he acts too rough and I have to move DD to protect her, but I would say the majority of his interactions with his sister are nice. It will probably take him a few months to really get it, but just keep working at it.

    Also, let him be involved in helping you take care of the baby. I let DS sit on my lap while I'm feeding the baby. I showed him how to hold the bottle, I let him help me burp the baby, etc. I think having him involved helped him not feel jealous over the baby getting attention. Now he will get the bottle for me when DD cries and hold it-it's really cute. He also puts blankets on DD. He will learn by watching you with the baby. Just give him time and be patient with him.

    Enjoy your 2 LOs! :)

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