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For those that are nervous (long)

mechanicsgirlmechanicsgirl
in Two Under 2

I know most of you know that I had a rough go of it at the start when DS was born.  Quick backstory:

I got pregnant with DS by total accident.  Seriously.  I didn't know until I was a ways along.  I wasn't happy about it at all.  I remained that way until Ben was born.  I didn't want to take myself away from DD, I wanted to watch her grow a little before having another kid.  We had planned to wait 5 years since we were so young.  We wanted to be financially stable.  It was the *worst* thing that could have happened to us.  I dreaded the day he was born.  I knew I was going to deal with PPD because I had it mildly after DD was born, and I knew how unhappy I was.

I remained that way after DS was born.  He was a handful and DH was working long hours.  I went from having DD who was independent, sweet, rarely cried...was the epitome of an easy baby - to having DS who was the epitome of a "normal" baby.  He was clingy and needy and needed constant attention.  To this day, he is 100% a mama's boy.  I talked to my doc and got put on antidepressants.  It helped a little, but DS was still in the phase where he needed me for everything and it was hard.  Really hard.  DD was less than a year when DS was born.  It was exhausting.

Right about the time he hit 4 months, he started crawling.  He really started playing.  DS and DD started interacting with each other.  He spaced out his eating.  He stopped crying so much.  He finally started sleeping better.  I was able to relax a little bit.

 

Now, DD and DS will just sit and laugh at each other.  She shows him how to play with toys, and "reads" to him.  I actually enjoy that he's a mama's boy now.  He wants me and he calms right down for me.  He loves to talk and give high fives.  I'm able to let them play together and get some chores done.  I can see just how much of a gift this was to DD and to our family.  She'll have a friend for life (or at least until they're teenagers, lol).   I am starting to really enjoy the spacing between the two.  They're close enough that he's learning some things just as she is, and she's young enough that she is thrilled to play the same kinds of things he does.  

 

I guess the point of this post is to say "hang in there".  It's really rough at first.  Really.  But it gets easier just as quickly.  I can't believe Ben is almost 7 months.  I'm completely off my antidepressants (weaned starting about 2 months ago), and I really have never been happier.  My family is complete.

 

Would I go back and space kids this way again?  I would go back and space these two again, yes.  If I had more kids down the line (I won't), I wouldn't, though.  I still would like to enjoy some time alone with one kid before having any others, but these two are just perfect.  I really am hitting the point where I absolutely love it and have no regrets.  

 

It gets better :)

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Re: For those that are nervous (long)

  • tlc11934tlc11934 member
    Thanks for posting.  I was really upset last night and was hoping someone would share their experience.  My DH keeps reminding me what a gift this is for DD1 and it sounds like you realized this too.  GL to you and your family.  I'm hoping to feel better soon.
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  • naturelle25naturelle25 member
    Wow, I could have written this myself! Couldnt agree with you more:)
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  • mari_goldmari_gold

    This was really wonderful to read -- thank you for posting it.

    I keep telling myself that life is going to be awesome once we get past the first six months or so, and it's great to hear someone say that from experience!

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  • Mr.&MrsSMr.&MrsS
    Glad things are better! I went through very similar feelings when DS2 was born. I had a really hard time adjusting. But now I think it is the best thing ever! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
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  • mechanicsgirlmechanicsgirl
    I'm glad I could help a little - I know the advice from the people who'd been there helped a lot with me when I was in those stages. 
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  • AutumnBride929AutumnBride929
    This is making me tear up.  I think my emotions are a little out of whack right now, lol!  But thanks for posting.  That is a really sweet story.  #2 was planned for us but sometimes I just think, "What ever did I get us into?" lol  This was a great story to read right before I'm about to give birth so thank you.
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