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Amy&Steve0421
member
Handling two kids (no annoucement - just planning)
Amy&Steve0421
member
So now that it is certain my husband will finish grad. school this year and we have resolved some child care issues - we can start thinking about #2 (and I since I had trouble ttc #1 and am already 36 - the sooner the better).
I have no qualms about having enough love for two children - I do, however, have qualms about being able to shower;) Please share w/me your tips and tricks for handling two kids...it took me long enough to figure out how to shower w/one - I figure I should seek out some guidance before we up the ante!
Thanks!
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Re: Handling two kids (no annoucement - just planning)
The stuff I worried about when I was pregnant was showering, doing bedtime/bathtime alone (if DH was at work late), and getting both kids into the car without DS running away or DD getting too cold.
1. Showering: DS watches cartoons in my room (attached to the master bathroom) and drinks his morning milk. I leave the bathroom door open so that I can hear if he's getting into trouble. DD sits in a bouncy seat in the bathroom. Eventually, I'll probably start showering in the evening, since I won't be able to lock DD in the bathroom when she's mobile like I did with DS. (He didn't have free range of the bedroom/bathroom until 18-24 months)
2. Bedtime: I bathe DD and put her to bed first. DS blows bubbles for her while she's getting her bath, and is excited that he gets to "stay up late". He helps read stories to her before bed.
3. Getting into and out of the car: I open the door on DD's side to put the infant seat in. DS adores crawling in from her side over to his side and climbing into his seat himself. It works for me! When I'm getting them out of the car, I get DS out first, hold his hand and walk him to the other side, then have him put his hands on the side of the car. He's not allowed to stop touching it until I'm holding his hands again.
Great specific tips above. I'd say that the main theme is just don't feel badly about having to ignore one to tend to the other. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty about not being able to immediately meet both kids' needs, and realize that the Art of Waiting is a good think for kids to learn. It's hard because little kids want what they want/need NOW NOW NOW. But in the end, they learn to wait their turn.
With three kids it's compounded, that's for sure!
what specifically are you interested in, other than showering?
I shower in the evenings.
DS is an even worse sleeper than DD was so sometimes I have to go sleep when he does b/c he won't fall asleep in his crib but will in my bed (yes, we are going to Ferberize soon). This sux and I can't do anything b/c I am so exhausted I do fall asleep.
Having DH around definitely helps as he mostly handles DD while I handle DS. Don't be afraid to ask for help, my parents come over on the weekends and take the kids for a walk in the stroller, DD loves to go to the park and run around, DS usually takes a nap. I use the time to do stuff around the house, especially cooking and making DD's lunch for school, which I freeze in one day portions.
I work F/T so I'm hardly ever alone with the 2 of them.
The love just doubles!
So look forward to this - if/when we are able to have #2. Thanks for all the input. It's good to hear how others juggle things...
what a great idea!!! i open DS's door to allow him to climb into his carseat while i put the baby into hers. then i go back to secure DS's seatbelts.
DS is 4yro and DD is 6 months, so things are a little easier in that the older kid is much more independent and self-reliant. i can leave him just about anywhere in the house and trust that he's not going to hurt himself or break anything.
getting in and out of the house is challenging sometimes - especially in bad weather. i got DS his own umbrella and a giant one for the baby and me. this way, we can all be dry!
DH and i split bedtime duties. I get DS into his PJs (well, i supervise, he can do it himself, but gets easily distracted), and brush his teeth/wash face & hands, etc, while DH gets DD ready for bed. then we switch and he reads DS stories while i nurse the baby. the kids share a room, so when i put the baby in her crib, i spend a few minutes with DS. we always talk about our favorite part of the day as a way to wind down and reconnect before bed. it's a sweet time that i really cherish with him.
i actually do a lot with both of them alone. i pick them up from daycare and we go to tae kwon do just about every day, and occasionally to the grocery store after. i leave the carseat behind as much as possible. it's really hard to carry it while chasing a running child! it's easier to wear the baby. plus, in the grocery store, i can contain the 4yro in the cart if i'm wearing the baby!
so, specific things that make life easier:
1. shower at night, after the kids go to bed
2. meal plan on the weekend so that weeknight dinners can be planned and organized
3. wear the baby while out, frees up both hands
4. teach #1 how to get in/out of carseat
5. routine routine routine! it's easier said than done, but kids understand routine. it helps them feel comfortable in their world. when you change their routine, it is upsetting. so find a flow that works for you and stay with it!
PS - happy ttc!
I actually don't think it's that much harder with two than with one, but maybe that's because DD #2 is an ANGEL and DD #1 was, well, high maintenance (reflux, food intolerances, chronic ear infections, etc.) and still is. They are 25 months apart - DD#1 is 30.5 months and DD #2 is 5.5 months. I work part time (32 hours/week) and do evening pick ups from daycare. I have had to cover for my DH a whole bunch of times when he's gone out of town for work or had to work late in the evening.
1. Normally DH puts DD #1 to bed (and she demands that you stay with her till she falls asleep) and I put DD #2 to bed. Nights that I have to put both of them to bed, I just sit on DD #1's bed and nurse DD #2. DD #2 usually falls asleep and after a few minutes I put her in her crib and then go back to DD #1. Usually works out well with minimal fussing.
2. I shower at night now. This is the only thing I don't really like because I like showering in the morning, but it really makes our mornings easier if I shower at night.
3. We bathe the kids together - DD #1 in the tub and DD #2 in a baby tub. It's fun family time. As soon as DD #2 can sit up on her own, we'll put her in the tub.
4. I do a lot of meal planning and cooking on the weekends. I cook two big dinners on Sunday (equal to four dinners) and we eat those through Wednesday. Wednesday night I cook dinner for Thursday and Friday after the kids are in bed. That way when we get home during the week all I have to do is heat stuff up. We all eat dinner together around 5:30-6. It's really nice family time. In a couple weeks DD #2 will start solids and, while she'll probably get most of it at breakfast, I'll probably give her a little to munch on while we eat dinner.
Honestly, sometimes I actually find it easier when I have both girls on my own. DH really helps out a lot, but DD #1 is much better when she's with just one of us. She tends to act up more when both of us are around. Also, DD #1 LOVES, LOVES, LOVES her little sister and wants to be with her all the time, so that really helps. Good luck ttc. I love having two and if I could guarantee another angel and an awesome pregnancy (my pregnancies suck BIG TIME) and I would totally have another. But since I can't, I think we'll stick with two (though my DH wants another so badly).