Moms of 2+

ReeseM · March 2011

I had PPD last time, undiagnosed til 11 weeks cause I just thought I was normally baby blues-y. It was more anxiety last time than anything else also.

This time around, thought I was good. Not much crying, sleeping better (baby is too more so than #1!), just figured I was home free.

That said, I have a lot of guilt in regards to #1. I miss doing everything with her. I am a SAHM, and I feel like I am able to do about 10% of what I did before in regards to her. I am nursing and that takes forever, and just general baby stuff. I want to take her outside every day to play, and I can't. I don't even pick her up from MDO anymore, and though that is a huge weight off 2x a week, I feel bad that I can't do it. I haven't put her to bed in weeks. I'm sad that we won't be able to do a lot of the stuff she enjoys because of the baby's schedule, or difficulty getting them both out on my own.

I am not sitting around crying most of the time, but I could if I let myself (like now). I just will glimpse her little blonde head sitting there playing by herself and it breaks my heart.

Anyhow, where is the line? How much is normal mom guilt, and how much not?

I suppose I should mention that I feel like I am just going through the motions with DD2. Nothing about her at this point really makes me happy or excited. I know that is somewhat normal, but I don't feel a ton of attachment to her.

rosesandpeonies · March 2011

I get postpartum anxiety. I had it with my older daughter and went on meds right away after this one. I am feeling the guilt also...and its strange because it is not something that I was worrying about during pregnancy. I just miss our time alone together. It is hard to say over the internet where the line is drawn. You can have PPD and not cry...so be aware of that...you can also cry and not have PPD. If you feel like you might be slipping back into it I would just call your dr. and talk to them about it. They will know if you need meds again or if you should just hang in there a little bit. You will soon enough be getting into a better routine and I am sure it will start to help the situation a little bit. Hang in there mommy...you are definitely not alone in feeling like this!

ronitoswife · March 2011

I know how you feel! I really miss the time I had with my first son. I'm still trying to figure out how to adjust to having two. I love my new son very much but was surprised that PPD hit so soon. With my first it didn't really start until he was 7 months. This time it was within days. I do feel like at times i'm just going through the motions and at other times enjoying it. It's so hard for me to feel that way because with my first I felt like I was on a magical high with him for months and this time i've had so much anxiety and crying over everything and feeling down. I decided that it was better for me and my kids that i go get some help. So we have scheduled an appointment with a therapist so that I can hopefully make sense of all these emotions that i'm experiencing. hang in there! I'm sure you will find a way to balance things. Good luck!

shopgirl78 · March 2011

I had PPD with my first and I think it was just a shitty set of circumstances that caused it (horrible L&D, sick baby- not able to BF). I took me forever to feel bonded to her....my boys were the exact opposite, I HAD to have them and found the transition from 1-2 & 2-3 easier than 0-1.

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