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3rd Trimester
Repost: Moms who want to breastfeed
My humble suggestion, just because I wish I had done these things before having my son. I did read some birthing, breastfeeding, pregnancy books but some are much better than others. So here goes...
1. First, breastfeeding and birthing books often put information on things other than breastfeeding. They can even be biased on issues about drug free birth, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, inoculation, etc. If you don't agree with these thing just ignore it don't let it discourage you or put you off in anyway. Take the information you want and leave the rest.
2. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is the best breastfeeding book I've read, unfortunately I didn't read it until I had been breastfeeding 9 months. But just about any concerns you can have are covered in that book.
3. Go to a couple of breastfeeding classes, (atleast 2 so you can have a couple of different views). The Le Leche League is great, they welcome and encourage expecting moms, breastfeeding classes are often offered by the hospital your planning on delivering at, or your OB.
4. Don't put to much pressure on yourself, YOU CAN DO IT. I had heard so many stories of woman trying, and that it hurt, and it was hard that I was completely scared of failing before I even started. It is hard, and can hurt, and lots of women do try but going in with a positive attitude will help.
5. EDUCATE yourself. Knowing what is the normal will help you with your concerns, about why are they eating so often, weight gain, etc. Ask for help. Also realize that not all babies are "textbook" when some babies need to eat every 2 hours even every hour at first, don't go 3-4 hours just because thats what the book says. My son was one of these babies, eating every 1-2 hours for the first few weeks. I thought about giving up multiple times, but kept going and it got so much easier, second nature in fact.
6. Get a pediatrician that supports breastfeeding. You don't want a pediatrician pushing formula when your trying to breastfeed.
This is not to offend anyone just my opinion, please add anything I forgot.
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Re: Repost: Moms who want to breastfeed
I think this is good advice.
My advice to newly BFing moms is don't worry about meeting breastfeeding goals like 6 months or a year or anything like that. Set small goals like getting through the next two weeks. Or just getting through the day. And remember that after the first month or two, things get a lot easier. So your experience breastfeeding a newborn will not be any indication of what your larger breastfeeding experience will be like.
As much as I usually kind of hate unsolicited advice posts, I think this one is pretty great. I really do think that realistic preparation prior to birth can help us be much more likely to succeed.
Signed,
First time mom already going to LLL meetings with 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" on hold at the library.
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I totally agree with all of this also. DD was born tongue tied and that was a HUGE obstacle for us, we had to correct her latch after everything was fixed with her tongue and I really did have to set a daily goal for myself to get through it. I remember after the first month all of a sudden noticing how easy it was becoming to BF and how much more comfortable we BOTH we were it..we made it to about 14 months with EBF and I was so proud of myself, and DD.
I actually disagree.. I breastfed my daughter for her whole first year. I was a working mom.... I honestly think bf is the reason my dd has not been sick to date... other than a runny nose and cough
I did not attend any classes but did read some info in other books... That was the advice one of my friends that bf her sons for 8 months told me. I have seen many friends get too overwhelmed by info and stopped breast feeding in the the first month.
It is a natural process but it will be be tough....
The books/classes make it so stressful. I was sick after my baby so I did not bf until 4 hrs after birth. I gave her a paci and even allowed her to have 1/2 oz of formula so I could rest at night. No problems...
It is a decision that you must make... Take advantage of the LC at the hospital. the Hospitals push bfing now. I even went back to her
I really enjoyed reading The Baby Whisperer... My favorite baby book!
Good luck and remember What did they do before formula was invented? They breastfeed....
I think it just depends on your personality. I'm a read every book, take every class, know about every potential of problem type of person. It makes me feel better, in control and prepared. My BFF is a let's just wing it because people have been doing this a long time and too much information will just overwhelm and make me want to quit type of person. If I didn't arm myself with all the information, I'd be having a panic attack right now as my EDD approaches. If my BFF did read, she'd be having one. You have to figure out what your personality type is and go from there.
And for me, the knowledge that most moms (I would say way more than are problem-free) have some issues, especially starting out, is kind of reassuring. Like I'm not failing at the simple, natural thing if it doesn't instantly work out perfectly.
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ITA. We had a really rough start to breastfeeding and I was ready to throw in the towel five days postpartum. The only thing that kept me going the first few weeks of breastfeeding (actually just parenting in general) was talking to other moms and finding out they had had the same struggles and that it got better.
And we ended up making it for over two years.
I wish I would have been more educated in BFing with my DS. I tend to read up on the things that interest me & ignore the rest.
I did end up BFing until my son was 6 months old but he was getting formula as well (after 3 months) because my milk production was low. I could have solved this problem and BF until 1 year like originally planned but I wasn't getting enough liquids. It was that simple. I didn't put 2 & 2 together, I was dehydrated. So this 2nd time around I am going to focus on drinking TONS of water, Gatorade, & other hydrating stuff all summer long! I hope I can keep my milk supply up & be successful!
Landon & Porter
1-10-07 & 5-11-11
I BFed for four months and very much agree with most of what you wrote, except one thing.
"YOU CAN DO THIS."
Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you shouldn't. I do not want to in any way discourage breastfeeding or make people feel like it's too hard. But I was so blindly determined that it WOULD work, that I would MAKE it work, that I pushed it way too far.
There is an attitude that if you just try hard enough, you can do it. That if you give up, you could have done it but weren't willing to. Because of that attitude plus an intense fear of using formula, I did not make the right choices for myself and DS. When I had a huge supply drop at 3m, I supplemented briefly, convinced myself he was getting enough (every single sign that I could observe was there, BUT I couldn't weigh him!), and spent a really miserable month trying to protect and build my supply. At 4m I learned that I was starving him, and I realized how much I was torturing myself.
I am still upset over it - upset that I didn't give my child what he needed (FOOD, breastmilk or formula) and upset that the YOU CAN DO IT attitude made me feel that if I couldn't, I was inadequate.
I want to tell any BFing mom - it is hard, there are people to help you, you can work through so many issues. But sometimes you have to choose what is best overall for you and your child, and if that's not breastfeeding then IT IS OK.
I agree with Iris - setting long-term goals is too much pressure. But even if you set a goal of "I will get through today," when does it stop? It is still impossibly hard to get up the next morning and say "I will NOT get through today, we are done." And at some point many women need the support to make that very, very hard decision for their child's own benefit.
Well put, I agree! I was very hard for me to supplement formula. I cried the first time I did it even though I knew he NEEDED to have it. I felt like I had failed. I talked to my best friend who went through the same thing. It's REALLY hard to let yourself fail at breastfeeding when you are trying sooooo hard to do it well!
I think the main fact is we should try to educate ourselves with the information available to us & to know our options (& our what our LO's need).
Landon & Porter
1-10-07 & 5-11-11
I'm with Token on this one. I usually roll my eyes at unsolicited advice posts but honestly the breastfeeding thing is what I'm most concerned about. So I'm ok with this post.
I've heard its hard and painful at first and you just have to power through it. I know this in my head but I'm pretty scared of the real life application of breastfeeding. I look at my best friend and she cried all the time with her first child but her next she just knew what to expect and just carried on. I look at my SIL who had no problems with her first but her second wouldn't latch properly and after trying and working on it for 12 weeks couldn't anymore because his stool was always red from her bleeding. (I think he was tongue tied from what I've learned)
I want to know as much as possible about potential problems so its not as easy to just give up. Its really important to me and I don't want to give up at the first bad day because of tongue-tie or cracked nipples or even sore nipples. I also want to know what I'm supposed to do about mastitis, clogged ducts and so on.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Great advice!
ditto pp about small goals. I used to increase them by 2 weeks.I BF DD for 1 year and a week.
I was so determined and it was well worth all the pain and stress. DD would nurse every 20 min and sometimes for 3+ hours!
Good advice! I agree that educating yourself is so key. I'd also throw out kellymom.com as a fabulous resource. Almost any problem you encounter is addressed there.
BFing is tough the first few weeks but it gets much easier. It's normal to feel overwhelmed and to have problems - don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it! Educating yourself now will also help you meet the challenges you might encounter.
And don't forget to get DH in on the action - a supportive partner is also very key!!
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
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This is all great advice!! Def have some at home support lined up as well. Last time I did not and ended up not getting help until 2 weeks later by then I was tore up pretty bad. I pumped for 4 months but def regret not getting the proper help.
This time I have already met with a LC that I can use once out of the hospital. I didn't have any issues until I got home of course, when my milk came in.
Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d
I think the OP has good advice, although you ultimately have to do what's right for you re: the amount of prep you do before delivery. I was more in s446784's boat...
We BF'd for 13 mos. While I was pg, I read "The Nursing Mother's Companion." After delivery, I followed up w/our pedi's nurse (who also happened to be an LC) at his first week visit. Turned out, all we needed was an LC to give us the thumbs up and a couple of positioning pointers and away we went.
I was worried that if I got too inundated with advice, I'd get overwhelmed and stressed and be more likely to quit out of frustration if it wasn't 'perfect.' I decided that it was better for me to prep by learning the basics by reading and asking for help if I needed it. For some people, not having enough info would've stressed them out...it's totally personal preference.
I also agree w/the pp who mentioned that there can be bumps in the road and not to worry if it's not going 'perfectly', especially at first. Surround yourself w/supportive people and trust yourself. Going to a pre-delivery class is great for some, but if it's not for you, no worries. Just make sure you have help available when and if you need it. The BFing board over here is great as well.