Hello (long intro)

poohbear033 · March 2011

Hi, I was on the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board today and saw someone else wanting to introduce themselves here, so I thought I would too. Although we are not TTC yet, we eventually will be.

This whole ordeal has been a roller coaster. I found out I was pregnant on 12/29/10 after waiting a week to test because I was convinced I was not pregnant since we had not been trying. I had an u/s at 9 weeks and showed a 5 week sac with nothing in it. I had to wait another two weeks for a repeat u/s. No change. Met with my doctor who explained I had a blighted ovum then explained the whole process of a natural miscarriage then mentioned I could have a d&c. I immediately chose to have the d&c. He couldn't do it because he was going on vacation and wouldn't be back for over a week, luckily another doctor in the practice was able to do it two days later. So on 2/11/11 I had the procedure and everything went well. After I had no bleeding or cramping for two days. Then I had cramping and bleeding for only 5 days afterward.

I am currently waiting for my beta to get to zero. At my two week post-op appointment it was 28. Last week it was 10, so I am hoping next week it will be down and I can stop getting my arms poked. I feel like a pin cushion. I am hoping to get AF sometime this month. That way I can have one more in April and can start TTC again in May.

Emotionally I have good days and bad days. I rarely feel like I want to cry, but I still have a lot on my mind. The hardest part for me is seeing or hearing about pregnancies, I feel like people are rubbing it in my face like "haha I have what you want." I know that they are excited and what not, and probably have no idea that I lost my pregnancy but I keep taking it personally like its a stab in the heart. Another thing that bothers me is hearing about people I know who are younger than me (I am 25) that have families or are pregnant. I feel that I did everything right, went to school, got married, own a home etc and this is the next step, where as those I keep hearing about haven't done any of that.

Thank you so much to those of you who have read this. I know we have all went through a difficult time. I will do my best to be here and support you all. HUGS

jen629 · March 2011

I am so sorry fro your loss welcome to the board!

Jamers615 · March 2011

So sorry to hear about your loss. This is a great group of girls here, welcome! I'm pretty new myself, and everyone so far is really helpful and sweet.

LilMaggs · March 2011

*huge hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

MegMeg0913 · March 2011

Welcome! I am so sorry your your loss. I hope that your ttcal journey is a short one!

Carolee · March 2011

Welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your feelings are completely normal - I have felt and still feel a lot of those things that you do.

KJsbabe · March 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your levels are at 0 soon. I felt the same way after my loss. I'm 25 also, and I did things the "right" way: school, marriage, house, and starting a family was next. It seems like the only people who I hear about getting pg, though, either have no job, live with their parents, or aren't married. It's very frusterating. I hope you find the support and comfort you need here. ((hugs))