Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mrsbookworm
member
Re: Did your dr. mention weight/VBAC issue?
I haven't attempted a VBAC yet, but I gained 16 pounds and I am 5'1" tall with my c/s pregnancy. DD was born weighing 9 pounds 6 ounces. She was a big girl needless to say.
Maybe it has something to do with your weight before, prior to getting pregnant I was/am significantly overweight I would like to lose about 60 pounds. Yet even with the low weight gain I had a big baby. My DH is also 6 foot tall. So those are things that could affect it as well. But then again I am not a Doctor.
i didn't think unless you had gd that your weight gain was associated to baby's birth weight.
i gained about 30lbs with each of my sons and they were 6lbs and 8lbs
i gained 60lbs with dd1 and she was 7lbs...
so for your doc to word it in a way that your weight gain could result in a big baby and a difficult vbac seems a little weird to me. definitely your weight gain is going to affect YOU during a vbac... but you really don't have any control over what size your baby's going to be...
Was your first baby really big? I had a doctor I interviewed about VBAC tell me that I should hope I have a girl, so she would be smaller than DS1, and I have a friend who was told the same about her first VBAC baby, but my MW never asked me anything other than if I had lost all the pg weight with my first son (which wasn't in regards to me being a VBAC candidate anyway).
I gained 40-45ish pounds with both my pregnancies, and DS1 was 8 lb while DS2 was 10.5 lbs (and a VBAC). You can only control so much when it comes to how big your baby is, but I think I'd be on alert if my Dr. was saying that to me...maybe be on the look out if they try to play the "suspected big baby" card? hth
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I'm hoping for a VBA2C. My second pregnancy, I started at 124 lbs (5'5") and got up to 228 lbs!! (Baby was 9lbs 13oz, of course, I also went two weeks over my due date hoping for a VBAC, but my cervix didn't change and I had a deadline with this practice.) This time, I've gained 35 lbs so far, with 5 weeks left. A few weeks ago, my doctor measured me and said, "Looks like another big baby. Want to go ahead and schedule that c-section?" (Which really aggravated me.. because he knows I'm trying for a VBA2C) I told him how I'd been really watching my weight this time, and even exercising a few times a week. So his replay was, "It doesn't matter how much weight you gain. Even women who were in concentration camps, probably malnourished, had big 10 lb babies.."
So, I guess my doctor doesn't think it make a difference. (I personally do. - My first daughter was only 7 lb. 7.5 oz. and I gained 60. hehe..)
OP here. My DS was not a big baby (only 6 lbs, 14 oz. and I only gained 25 lbs.) Also, I did not have GD with DS. Still need to take a glucose test for this pregnancy. Perhaps my doctor is also just concerned about me being healthy. I'm trying not to think through this all too much. Just going to stay positive and do as much as I can to prepare for labor. I've already learned so much that I didn't know the first time around.