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Single Parents
custody question ?
I lurk but had a question...sorry if this is long!
here is
a lil of my story...me and the baby daddy broke up after I found out I
was pregnant last year...he left me for another girl who he was already
sleeping with and then he came running back around when my son was born
because he was out of a job and had no money; he's a major mooch. my
son is almost 3 months old now and the father hasn't been around or
helped with anything still, he's only around when it's at his
convenience. we live in the same town but there is always an excuse why
he can't come over (he has no vehicle so no ride, partying and friends are #1, etc.)
and then he comes over when he isn't invited and pretends like
everything is fine and I can't help but get mad--I don't think it's
fair he visits when he doesn't help, even if it is his child. he never
asks how the child is doing and he only sees him growing up through
pictures on fbk. I'm more than fine on money, I have a great job, so
I'm not needing the child support. the fathers only source of income is
his army disability and his "gardening" project. he always makes
promises of paying me back but that money always goes into more
drugs...you know the kind of guy that is, chooses drugs over his own
child and can always buy himself things but not his child. I know these
stories are here on this board a lot and I usually relate a lot to the
ladies here.
Since my son lives with me 24/7 and I have him
on my insurance and pay for daycare-formula-diapers-etc., is he in my
sole custody or do I have to go to court for that? I already make all
the decisions without the father (I ask him but he says he doesn't
care) so didn't know if it was assumed about custody or not? I look up
online this stuff but it mainly is for people who are divorced, and I
never was married. also, I'm looking to move to a bigger city this
summer and didn't know if I needed the father's permission to move with
our son or if I can just go?
I guess I need pushed in the
right direction and looking for you ladies to help me a little...I'm a
little unsure of what all the legal actions I should take...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: custody question ?
Is the father on the birth certificate? If not, you are free to do as you wish. You don't even have to let the biological father have visitation -- if he wants to have a voice, he will have to go to court and establish paternity.
If he is on the birth certificate, he can exercise his rights to joint custody and have more a voice in decisions, but since he doesn't appear to be a real "go-getter" I can't imagine going to all the trouble to be an involved father.
I would assume it varies by state so I would consult an attorney, but here in Ohio if you aren't married and do not have a formal custody agreement the mother has full custody until the father petitions for visitation/shared parenting. Child support and child custody are two different things.
If you don't have a custody agreement, I would assume you can move where ever you like and don't have to notify him. Now, if he takes you to court for visitation after you move you should be prepared to explain why you moved and it's helpful to have a good reason (job, school, etc.)
First, I live in Kansas too. Where are you from?
Second, you do not have to let him see him. If he is on the birth certificate then he can take you to court for custody/visitation. If he isn't, he would have to have paternity established first then take you to court.
Also, file for child support. Even if you don't need the money you can always put it into an account for your LO. The minimum for child support in Kansas is $50 so even if he doesn't have a job they will order him to pay this amount and if he doesn't it will just keep adding up.