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Success after IF
I'm so sad/mad @DH & I need a personal errand runner!
DH is clearly clueless. Today, he went into work for a FULL day. He's been talking about this training that he's wanted to attend but I told him when I was PG that I thought it was ridiculous that he'd contemplate leaving his newly post partum lady for a training. Then when I was newly PP, I told him that I couldn't believe he was even thinking about it still. Each time, he was silent but I thought for sure he's "get my drift".
Well, he's made mention that he's going over the past few days and I thought, SCREW YOU DUDE! Whatever! Then 2 days ago, my midwife (who is our dear friend) came over and did a home visit and assessed that I'm at risk for an infection because I've been WAY overdoing things (partially out of my control because we've been jacked around by Children's with admissions and appointments). She gave BOTH of us a massive talking to and told him "DO NOT LET HER UP!". Well, not only has he just been sitting on his ass working from home (but taking vacation/sick days because he feels guilty for not putting in a FULL day work) but he was getting ready to go to this training today and frantically said, "OH MY GOD KELLEY! THE BACK OF YOUR ROBE IS FULL OF WET BLOOD!" - apparently I ran through my huge huge pad because I'm bleeding profusely (from overdoing it).
I fix all of that and then he comes to kiss me goodbye and obviously I'm irritated and he said, "Should I feel guilty about this?" and I said, "Well, its your decision, you get to feel however you want to feel about it" and he said, "Well I don't feel guilty in and of itself so...." and I said, "Isn't that great for you?" He said, "Are you going to be mad if I go?" (as he's dressed, backpack on, jacket on...he's CLEARLY going) and I said, "You've known for over a month how I've felt about this"....and then he just walked out.
THIS IS NOT THE MAN I MARRIED! WHAT THE H#LL is going on!? Is this training (which is a Jung based personality training/assessment for tech geeks that he's mentioned multiple times he "just wants to go to to screw with the process") more important than his wife's health and safety?!
Thank GOD my midwife/friend is coming over today to help me.
This all on top of the fact that we have family pics on Sunday and I need to get a dress for Rhayna and the closest one is 30 miles away and so that's another hour + for him being away from us. I would go but I seriously feel like I'm on the verge of passing out, my vag and arse feel like they're about to have a luncheon chat with my ankles and I have to pump every 2 hours......GAH!
Well, he's made mention that he's going over the past few days and I thought, SCREW YOU DUDE! Whatever! Then 2 days ago, my midwife (who is our dear friend) came over and did a home visit and assessed that I'm at risk for an infection because I've been WAY overdoing things (partially out of my control because we've been jacked around by Children's with admissions and appointments). She gave BOTH of us a massive talking to and told him "DO NOT LET HER UP!". Well, not only has he just been sitting on his ass working from home (but taking vacation/sick days because he feels guilty for not putting in a FULL day work) but he was getting ready to go to this training today and frantically said, "OH MY GOD KELLEY! THE BACK OF YOUR ROBE IS FULL OF WET BLOOD!" - apparently I ran through my huge huge pad because I'm bleeding profusely (from overdoing it).
I fix all of that and then he comes to kiss me goodbye and obviously I'm irritated and he said, "Should I feel guilty about this?" and I said, "Well, its your decision, you get to feel however you want to feel about it" and he said, "Well I don't feel guilty in and of itself so...." and I said, "Isn't that great for you?" He said, "Are you going to be mad if I go?" (as he's dressed, backpack on, jacket on...he's CLEARLY going) and I said, "You've known for over a month how I've felt about this"....and then he just walked out.
THIS IS NOT THE MAN I MARRIED! WHAT THE H#LL is going on!? Is this training (which is a Jung based personality training/assessment for tech geeks that he's mentioned multiple times he "just wants to go to to screw with the process") more important than his wife's health and safety?!
Thank GOD my midwife/friend is coming over today to help me.
This all on top of the fact that we have family pics on Sunday and I need to get a dress for Rhayna and the closest one is 30 miles away and so that's another hour + for him being away from us. I would go but I seriously feel like I'm on the verge of passing out, my vag and arse feel like they're about to have a luncheon chat with my ankles and I have to pump every 2 hours......GAH!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm so sad/mad @DH & I need a personal errand runner!
Oh honey...what a tough situation.
He totally needs his ass kicked...
Try to take it as easy as possible...you have to take care of you before you can take care of anybody else...
Wow....he really really needs a wake up call on this one...jeez louise...
((hugs)) Thats awful. I'm so sorry your DH is begin an a**hat. I don't understand what comes over most men when they get stressed out after having a new baby at home. They just do pretty dumb things. =( Im so glad you have help today, if I lived near you I would come and help even though emotionally I'm a hot mess haha. Hang in there sweetie!
L
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
Yeah, DH and I went 'round because he was supposed to be off two weeks and went back three days early because he was just working at home all the time anyway. I was pissed. We had agreed well in advance that he would be home for two weeks--last time it was one week, but I felt like we all, Henry included, needed him home a little longer this time. He agreed. His office had plenty of notice. He tied up all his loose ends. And they still coudln't stop hounding him.
I get that he has a lot on his plate at work--his job is stressful, he manages thirty employees, gets 200 email a day--I get it. But you don't ever get this time back...and if you can't take off two weeks for the birth of your child, when else are you going to be able to let go of work?
GAH!
Sorry, didn't mean for this to turn into my own rant, but I feel your pain. This is not the man I married, either...family has always come first for us, and we have made decisions together about DH"s career with that in mind. But his job is sucking the life out of all of us.
I am so sorry. Who the he!! notices that his wife is bleeding through pads because she's doing too much and then just leaves?!? Was he not in the same room when your midwife told him that you shouldn't be getting up at all? What does he think you are going to have to do while he is gone? I really hope your dh gets his head on straight soon.
Thank goodness you have someone who can spend the day with you. Please try to take it easy. (I know, impossible. But you can't take care of everyone else if you're not taking care of yourself.)
(((((hugehugs)))))
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