DH's expectations after LO is born?

RSMom32011 · March 2011

Yesterday DH and I were talking about what to get at the grocery store. I told him we needed to get some easy meals because I hadn't planned on cooking for a week or so after LO gets here. He said, "Why?"

DH doesn't cook. He supplies dinner by picking up take out which is OK with me.

I told him I wouldn't be cooking because we're both going to be exhausted for a little while getting used to taking care of a baby.

His response: "I don't know where you think it's going to be so hard. If 2 smart adults can't take care of a kid without getting exhausted then something's wrong. It's just feeding, diapering, and sleeping."

Indifferent

Are your DH's this clueless??? Or am I just thinking it's going to be harder than it actually is. I'm not thinking it's going to be impossible. Just different and an adjustment to get used to.

ETA: DH will be a great father and does and will help 50/50. That's not what I'm questioning. I'm just shocked that he thinks it will be so easy. I think he's in for a rude awakening!

MrsMoher · March 2011

Your poor DH is going to be in a RUDE awakening. HA HA HA HA.. that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard. For a period of nearly 2 months I couldn't have told you whether it was day or night or the day of the week without checking outside or a clock or calendar.

SeasideBride06 · March 2011

Poor DH! Since we already have DD#2, and have been through this before, DH actually made the comment this week, "I am ready to meet her, but I sure dread the sleepless, crying, newborn stage!" I think I handled the NB stage better than he did...and I was off work for 6 weeks!

BloggingTeach · March 2011

My BFF explained it to me like this... They just don't get it! My DH helps but there are still those moments where he just doesn't get it. Sorry, not sure if I was much help!

RSMom32011 · March 2011

Yeah, I kind of just laughed at him and said, "Okay babe. We'll see." I know once she gets here, he's the type of father that is going to be more worried about her cries than I am! He won't want to let her go.

MissYouDietCoke · March 2011

Oh, your poor DH! Hopefully he changes his tune quickly!

I think H is pretty realistic about what life will be like for awhile. He's read a book (called the expectant father, I think) He keeps asking me to write down recipes I use, or will comment on "I'll be able to make that [post-baby]. He's already been doing his share of the chores, since I'm not able to.

I'm mostly worried about our interaction with each other. I know we're both going to be exhausted. I do not operate well in that state, and I really am nervous about us grumping at each other for no real reason. So, we came up with a code word to say when we think we're approaching husband-wife meltdown stage. (Snuffleupagus - DH picked)

RSMom32011 · March 2011

MissYouDietCoke:
I'm mostly worried about our interaction with each other. I know we're both going to be exhausted. I do not operate well in that state, and I really am nervous about us grumping at each other for no real reason. So, we came up with a code word to say when we think we're approaching husband-wife meltdown stage. (Snuffleupagus - DH picked)

I like this! I think I'm going to suggest something like this too! I'm better at not letting my exhaustion get to me. DH on the other hand is like a cranky toddler. If he gets sleepy/hungry... the whining, grumpiness begins!

khauke · March 2011

I have to admit. This even made my husband laugh a little.

DucatiLeah · March 2011

Haha, your DH is funny! I'd point out that on top of the baby, your body is going through some serious recovery too and you are going to be very sore and uncomfortable for days and in no mood to cook dinner since LO will be your priority. My husband suggested w go on a trip to Cali 2 weeks after my due date and I had to break it to him that although LO would probably be fine by then, I won't want to spend 7-8 hrs on an airplane yet!

srs5624 · March 2011

Oh, he's in for a rude awakening. Good luck with that!

A few weeks ago, my H asked me to show him how to work the washer and dryer (I usually do the laundry). He also asked that I make a list of what needs done each day so he is sure to get to everything. He knows that it's going to be exhausting and overwhelming.

He'll be taking care of our son too, but he wants to take care of the cleaning and laundry when I get home since I have to do the actual "squeezing a child out of my body" part.

He has my mom and younger sister recruited to do the cooking. Mom is a good cook, little sis likes to bake, and they live in our neighborhood.

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