Anyone moved away from family?

Hope*Always · March 2011

DH is currently a contractor and has been looking for a full-time position. Over the weekend he found one in our same state but 2hrs away. It is in a beach community which happens to be where FIL lives. He sent his resume in yesterday morning and received a call 3hrs later. The company wants to interview him next week. I live 15min or less from my entire family and I'm heartsick about possibly moving 2hrs away from my mom. I know it's not that far and she can come stay with us but it's just not the same. My MIL passed away a few years ago and my mom is the only grandmother my kids have. But my brother and his girlfriend just inherited a beach house in the same area so I'm sure they will be down a lot too. I also understand that DH may not get the position any my worrying could be for nothing. I just don't like the idea of being that far away. We used to live 45min away and that wasn't bad. How did you handle moving with your families? Does it get easier? Sorry for the rambling.

lauti · March 2011

I live about 10 hours away from my family by car, though DH's family is close by. Now that I SAH, I miss being so close to my family because I would have the opportunity to see them all the time since I am not working (and my mom only works part-time).

I've lived away from home for almost 7 years not including college, so it's something I'm used to though now with a baby I feel guilty that my parents don't get to see him that often.

DevonPow · March 2011

I moved from my family in California to go to college in New York and never left the East Coast. DH moved here to Boston and left his family in the midwest, so we are fairly far from all family (closest parent is a 3.5 hour flight away. My sister lives in NYC so she is closer). Anyway, it is hard at certain times but in general it is fine. We just make it a priority to visit when we can or have family members travel here to stay with us for a while. Email, phone, Skype...all can keep everyone really connected these days.

Jerseygirl16 · March 2011

We moved about 2 hours from family and it's not that bad. It can be a bit of a pain if it's a late day out there and we are driving home with three kids at like 8pm but most of the time we go out as early as possible and try to get home at a reasonable hour. I think for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year we are going to look at staying overnight to make it easier on ourselves.

My parents and IL's come out once a month or so to visit us and at least my IL's usually stay the night in a hotel down the road. I actually like it because it lets us get some really good quality time with them and have them around more than we actually did when we lived closer.

lbaby08 · March 2011

Well I am a 9 hour plane ride from all of our family and have been for 4 out of the last 5 years. It is not easy to be away but it is what it is and you make the best of it.

I grew up 2 hours from my maternal grandparents and still saw them all of the time. They were always coming to us or we would go there for long weekends. Sometimes my mom would meet my grandmother halfway and drop us off for a few days. I have great memories of those times!

If this is great opportunity for your DH, his career and ultimately your family I would say go for it. You will find ways to make the distance work!

Hope*Always · March 2011

Thanks for all the experiences! I know that if this happens my mom is going to be devastated and that is really my biggest concern with moving. Her health has been up and down and she loves having us all close (especially since she had to grow up away from family). I just need to table this for now until we get through the interview process. But no matter what I'll find a way to deal with it.

spiritenergy · March 2011

I grew up in a military family, and I currently live 20.5 hours away from my family and DHs family is 10.5 hours away. This is the closest either one of us have lived from our families since graduating high school. I think you get used to it. DH comments that he wishes that he could see his brother more, but unless we visit them that will not happen (they will not travel to us because it is "too hard" with one kid Confused

). We have not visited them in over a year because I refuse to use every single vacation going to see his family and he agrees. I keep in contact with family on facebook. It works for us. I think it is easier to stay in touch and stay close now than when I was growing up with the use of technology. It is nice to be able to go on-line and quickly upload some photos. 2 hours is not bad. They can still be part of all the major holidays and events in your life.

JenJar · March 2011

I am 11-12 hours away from all our family, both sides. Yes, I miss them like crazy. But it has made our little family much closer, because we have to be! I wish I could see them more, but we do cherish the times a lot more that we do get to visit. We use Skype a lot so DS sees his grandparents (my parents) several times a week. (We don't Skype as often with MIL because she doesn't own a computer.) I will say that my mom in particular is really good at making me feel very guilty for not being there so that's the hardest thing I deal with.

MKNola · March 2011

We just moved away from our family about 6 weeks ago! Right after DS was born we moved back to the town where both DH and I grew up. We lived there for two years. This past fall my DH was offered a great position (with the same company) about 1 1/2 hours away. We decided it was the best move for our family because my DH's ability to move up in the company would greatly increase. It was a very hard decision. My DS is very close to my parents and I know it broke their hearts when we moved. However, we still see them often (every other week or so) and its actually been nice to have more quality time with just our little family unit.

We are settled in to our new house now, making friends in our new community, and life is good. Going through the decision making process and actually executing the move were the hardest parts. Good luck!! I know how hard this can be!

Oh and of course things are a little more complicated without the easy access to help and babysitters if I need them, but we're managing!

KSMILEY 77 · March 2011

I moved 6 hours away for college where I met DH. After graduation, we lived 8 hours from my parents and about 30 minutes from his family. Now, we live 2 hours from my family and I love it! After being 8 hours away, 2 hours seems like nothing! We can easily get to each other on weekends or even for one night and do this frequently.

At the end of the year/beginning of next year, we will be moving to China for DH's work. Talk about distance! That is going to be tough and we're taking advantage of being 2 hours apart as much as possible!

detroitblondie · March 2011

I live about 5 hours from my ENTIRE family and I really, really don't like it. I so wish my parents were closer- it would be such a treat to be able to drop in and visit them/have them babysit from time to time. Catch breakfast with them... whatever. I feel like my kids are missing out a lot by not having my parents close by. However, we do go visit about once a month for at least a long weekend (sometimes longer). We've thought about moving back, but we'd be leaving Chicago (which is a great city) to go live in a nothing special suburb of Detroit... We'll see, though. Best wishes trying to make a decision.

aundraya · March 2011

I'm actually in a similar situation. My husband is in the military, and we recently moved two hours from my family. Like you, I was used to having all of my family 10-20 minutes down the road. It is a lot different knowing that you can't just hop in the car and go see them at the drop of the hat like before. I also know that I should be grateful it's not farther, but that's not much comfort. It does get easier once you get into your own routine, and you learn how to adjust to having to plan trips in advance and such, but I agree that it's not the same. Hope it all works out for you!

mandymack · March 2011

lbaby08:
If this is great opportunity for your DH, his career and ultimately your family I would say go for it. You will find ways to make the distance work!

I absolutely agree and also had to make the very difficult decision to leave our hometowns and both our families in TX to come to CA when I was 8 months pregnant with Emily because DH got his "dream job offer" out here. That was 5 years ago and it's been perfectly wonderful! Homesick? Yes, at times but our friends & families make a huge effort to visit us often and we go back home to TX every summer and every Christmas.

J&A2008 · March 2011

The closest I've lived to my parents since I turned 18 is 3.5 hours. Currently I'm about 6. Do I wish we lived closer? Absolutely. I still see my mom an average of once a month for a weekend visit. She travels here a lot, and we go see her when we can. My mom is used to this, as she moved out of state after college as well, about 12 hours away. My grandparents were still a big part of my life growing up as we made frequent trips to see them.

Is your mom up for making the trip? Your family? If they're not used to driving more than 15 min, are they going to view 2 hours as a long trip? I think this is something to talk over with your DH and your parents as to how often they are imagining getting together.

Ruby_Soho · March 2011

We live exactly onthe opposite side of the world to my family. They're in Ireland, we're in New Zealand. We're 4.5 hours away from the in-laws. I HATE living so far from my family but it's the price we gotta pay to live in Paradise.

MrsBalletStar05 · March 2011

We have no one here besides DH's brother. DH's sister is 3 hours away and all other family is 8+ hours away. I would LOVE someone to be only 2 hours away (in fact, my parents are planning on retiring to a city 2 hours from us and I'm ecstatic thinking about how much more often we will see eachother).

I never before realized how much a lot of other people depend on other family members. Growing up we always lived at least 2-3 hours from both sets of my grandparents, and most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins were at least that far away, maybe farther.

PrncesWife · March 2011

We live 4 states away from our families. We moved before we had DD, so in some aspects it was easier. Sure, I miss them and I wish we could see them more, especially DD. But the benefits we have from living here far outweigh what we would gain by moving back home. It really hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be. We go back once a year for 2 weeks, and both of our parents also come out about once a year, sometimes more.

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