Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

When/if you have a new relationship...

soyaddictsoyaddict
in Single Parents

how long did or do you think is a good amount of time before considering introducing your new BF to your children? 

I hadn't given much thought to this before but now I am in a new relationship. We talked for about a month before meeting, dated and have decided to be exclusive. He has met my friends and will be meeting my parents soon. I will also be meeting his friends and family soon.

But I'm most concerned about my children (ages 4 and 2). I have never introduced them to a BF before and though I don't really foresee doing so for at least another month or so I'm curious what others think or have done.

 

DD born 2007 & DS born 2008
Report Reply to Post

Re: When/if you have a new relationship...

  • katieisawesomekatieisawesome
    I would make sure he isn't a secret crazy and also probably wait until I knew if things were pretty serious or not.  I live with my BF (and share custody 50/50 with XH) but I waited at least 6 months before really having him and my daughter interact and waited well over a year before moving in.  I am 99% sure we will get married so I felt okay about my decisions.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • achase123achase123
    Take it from someone who has introduce too soon, waiting is better.  I don't know what time frame is correct, but I would say as long as possible.  it also depends on your situation.  I know, for me, I have to be extra sensitive as P doesn't have a father in his life at all.  So I know that the next time around I will be extra cautious.  I would say dating exclusively for at least a few months.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jenhumjenhum
    ExH and I have in our separation agreement that we will either wait 6 months, or we have to get the ok from the other person. I know 6 months is a long time, but honestly I'm so busy I can't imagine I'd have time for a fast moving relationship anyway, haha.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • blush64blush64 member

    I waited over 2 years and that was after we knew it was very serious, that we would be married one day. That is the only man they have ever met. They were young when my ex and I split up and I spent most of my time working to support them and take care of them. They are getting to know him better now and by the time we get married we will have been together around 5 years. (and after we are married he will actually get to move in!)

    Report Reply
  • FormerlyAKFormerlyAK

    I've been with my bf about 5 months now. DS met him casually at a lunch with my family for my parents' anniversary about 4 months in. He knows bf is my "special friend" that I like going out with, and I use his name in conversaion and ds knows who he is. DS did ask a week or so ago if bf would come to the park with us one day. BF is on a trip out of town for work until the 18th and then I am out of town for work, so we are going to do that sometime in April when we are both back in town. By that point, we will have been together almost 6 months.

    DS is 4 if that makes a difference.

    Report Reply
  • haleyw458haleyw458 member
    I'm really torn on this. I obviously won't introduce them right away, but at the same time I want to make sure he interacts well with DS before we get too far in. I've actually had a guy tell me it was weird that I wanted to wait for him to meet DS.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • achase123achase123

    imagehaleyw458:
    I'm really torn on this. I obviously won't introduce them right away, but at the same time I want to make sure he interacts well with DS before we get too far in. I've actually had a guy tell me it was weird that I wanted to wait for him to meet DS.

    I agree, it's very difficult to know "when" is the right time.  The last guy I was with was the one who brought up wanting to be around P.  Never again will I trust THEM to be the one to tell me when to introduce.  Granted, P is still quite young, but as he gets older this will definitely be more of an issue.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MominatorMominator
    For me? It wouldn't be until at the very least that the "L" word is involved, so like 6mths maybe? I was with my ex for 2 months and the thought of him meeting my kids wasn't even a blip on my radar.
    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/9/11 - 34:24 - 1st race evah!
    Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
    Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
    Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
    Report Reply
  • dimakedimake

    I think it would take about six months before I'd start introducing a BF to family, including my kids...  I know that was when things started getting all "I love you" serious when I was dating XH. 

    But I haven't gotten to that point yet, so who knows...

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni

    I had always said it would be at least a few months....but, my boyfriend actually knows my children via my ex-h and his brother. So our first date was actually a play date with our three girls.

    image

    imageimage

    TheseFourButton-1.png

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"