around 10/11 each morning my energy levels just plummet, thats what its been like for the last week. then today, out of nowhere (and I actually woke up feeling pretty good despite the ever present cyst pain)...lunch time was rolling around and I got this uncontrollable/unexplainable/undeniable tidal wave of sadness...I felt *numb* sad..I tried to walk to a near by cafe to just get outside and grab lunch and without noticing tears were falling so hard, I felt crushing sadness...I couldnt justify or control it..I know IF sucks but I havent been moody/sad/emotional about it lately, I've actually been very optimistic and just taking action.
Then today rather than enjoying my lunch hour I spent the whole hour crying. I got in my care, parked it around the block from my office building, laid down across the front and passenger seats and bawled...it scared me because it just came SO hard and out of nowhere..I know PCOS'ers can sometimes battle depression due to hormonal imbalances...not that I'm sure thats what this is..but this has never happened...anyone else ever have that? Do you have depression? I cant figure it out...
Re: uncontrollable tidal wave of sadness..
I'm sorry you are so sad. I suffer from depression (brought on by my losses) and the best thing to do is talk to your doctor. I tried to control my feelings/ depression without going to my dr and I ended up avoiding family and friends and isolating myself from everyone and everything, except for DH.
We are all going through a tough time and we all handle it differently, but the worst thing you can do is ignore it.
We are all here for you, but you should definitely talk to a professional.
GL! ((hugs))
I agree with PP you need to talk to someone. Just talking to us or your husband wont make things easier. They have the tools to teach you how to deal with situations. I was at the lowest point in my life and found out that my work offered 6 free counseling sessions and that was the best 6 sessions of my life. I seriously would not be where I am today if i wasnt for that. ((huge hugs))
2004- DX with PCOS
6/2011- Gonal-F + Ganirelix + Oviderl and Crinone= BFP
7/7/2011 Beta #1 119 Beta #2 563 Beta#3 4178
http://tinypic.com/r/25z7709/8
thank you all so much for the encouragement..I think you are all right..I will try to look in to at least once a week counseling or something..I have Kaiser so I know sometimes they offer that or support groups free for members..or our church is set up with a great counseling center
thanks again..I'm feeling a little better..
my coworker left a starbucks on my desk while I was in a meeting and a note that said "looked like you could use a pick me up, smile hun!" it was so sweet
she thought I looked tired, better than thinking I looked sad lol
thanks again ladies, your support/advice is greatly appreciated!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
TTC since 3-2008: v/c repair 2009; BFP: 7-2010, m/c 8-2010, c/p 4-2011, BFP: 6-2011 EDD: 2-12-2012?
"Lovebugs2012"
Today I am pregnant & I love my baby!
Awe sweetie i am so sorry you had a bad day. Yes i have had days like that! Too many if you ask me! I have had to leave work early because I cant stop crying, ive cried the entire way home, once i got home i sat on the floor like a baby or curled up on the couch and just walked through my house sobbing uncontrollably. It is kinda scary to see how much emotion comes out of me. But i do feel much better once its out. I really really hope you feel better. I spoke to my RE about all the side effects and i decided to go back to see my therapist while im going through treatments to help me stay focused on the rest of my life, not just IF. GL hun. We are always here if you need us!
*hugs*