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Northern California Babies
Sad date night situation
So DH and i have had very few date nights since Elena was born. My BIL lives with us now so we went a couple of times before the holidays but seriously, I am just too tired to go out at night! How do you all do it? Leave early, come home early? Take a nap before you go? Just be exhausted?
I want to see a movie! The last movie I saw in the theater was Avatar. I really miss seeing movies. Even at home I am too tired to start one after DD goes to bed. I have not even watched a full length video in ages. Advice, please!
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Re: Sad date night situation
I feel your pain! I never watch movies at home. DH is all about either On Demand or Redbox, but I'm always too tired to watch with him. He's just a night owl and will stay up late watching, but I'll fall asleep. On the rare occasion that we have a kid free weekend, we'll watch like 3 movies in the theater that weekend. I've seen a couple of movies lately with just the girls. DH will watch the kids, and I'll sneak out to see a movie with a friend or two.
Date nights seem to only happen for birthdays or anniversaries. We do get babysitters fairly regularly, but it's always for an occasion - like we have an event to go to together. Every time the babysitter shows up and we walk out the door, I'm always kind of pissed for a second that we're going to some big event with lots of people there and I'd rather use this precious time for just a night out with my hubby.
I guess I have no advice! I hope others do! :-)
I get it, I really do. My only advice is force yourself! Seriously. My mom once gave advice at a bridal shower that you should put your husband first. This is so freaking hard as a mother. I think what she was saying is that you need time to be alone as a couple. I know that when dh and I do, we feel reenergized and less likely to snap at the little things. At least for a few days anyway. So even if you are tired, make an effort. I promise you won't regret it.
Yeah, this is what I was thinking, but I hate missing that much time with DD. Sounds dumb, I know.
Doesn't sound dumb to me A. DH and I have a tough time with date nights. Neither of us is super motivated to do them. First, we didn't go out a lot when we didn't have DS. We are homebodies.
We are old and get tired and have to get up early for work.
So it's not our natural inclination to go out together to spend quality time.
Second, we both felt and still feel that we hate to be away from DS for long periods of time not mandated by our jobs. We both work, and spend most waking hours away from him. Adding to that is painful, for us and for him. It's not just that he'd miss us (which he does), but that we miss him.
So we've recalibrated our expectations and are both okay with it. About once a month, DS spends the night with my mom. It's usually a weeknight given our current situation (she already spent the day wtih him doing daycare). On those nights, we do things together we can't do when he's around. And we eat stuff he wouldn't eat with us.
We catch up on our shows and chat and it's just like it was before.
We also fit in those nights when DS goes to bed crazy early, which he does once a week or so.
Letting go of the pressure to have a date night, and to just allow ourselves to be who we were before (tv watching home bodies), has been good for us. Sure we miss going to movies, but honestly, we were often too tired to stay out to watch them before we had a kid. We often bailed after dinner out.
DH and I have gone to the drive-thru with C in the backseat. While there isn't one super close to you (goodle Westwind theatres) we've had a great time and it seems less tiring than a regular theatre. We make some cocoa and popcorn at home, hit a drive thru on our way there, C falls asleep on the way or soon after and you get to and watch 2 movies for cheap. I wear PJ/comfy type clothes, and I've even brought my pillow to lean against.
Besides that no, we don't go to the regular movie theatre anymore.
LOL, that's awesome. Bring the couch to the theater. If only that dang stick shift wasn't in the way.
We've been doing weekly date night on Wednesday since before we were married and continued after Sarah was born. We usually go for dinner at a different restaurant every week at around 8 while the Au Pair is at home and Sarah is asleep. I usually go to bed at 11 so it is no different on date night. Sarah sleeps quite late (7:30) so I get up at 7 and it is enough sleep for me.
Now that must be nice.
Exactly my thoughts! I appreciate your support but my kid got up at 4:50am today. And that's not unusual. 6:15 is the latest I can hope for. 7:30 sounds like HEAVEN.