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VBAC
Every appt, I told dr's my story, all dr's said - we'll see what happens, but I was a good candidate for VBA2C. They kept agreeing to go over my case at a high risk meeting, but every time I asked if they had, they never did. I was told not to worry about it and everyone was on board, so I stopped asking
40 W1 Day - Told had just discovered that hospital policy did not cover VBA2C but would ask if was okay.
40 W 2 Day - No phone call
40W3Day - Office appt - baby fine, don't have answer about allowing VBA2C, moved to labor and delivery for NST - told at this time that VBA2C not an option - c/s would be Monday at 41 W1 day unless I went into labor sooner. They had no room for an earlier c/s.
This monday c/s would have the Dr that was insensitive present, an anesthesiologist that would not allow two people in the OR (doula and husband). I had originally agreed to this b/c of the possibility of VBA2C being on the table.
Tonight - 40W3Day - I called back office and told them that I would not be waiting until Monday and they would c/s me tonight or tomorrow, if VBA2C would not be allowed.
They confirmed that they would not do a VBA2C on me. If I showed up at the hospital in labor, they would perform an emergency c/s. They found a spot for me tomorrow with two drs that I liked. I'm on call all day and cannot eat past 10pm tonight.
I am promising myself to focus on my tulips. I got a taste of the pasta in Italy, and there's really nothing that I feel comfortable doing so last minute. I just want to enjoy the moment.
I know that I have the choice to show up pushing, refuse c/s etc, but it's just too much. I can't drive myself crazy trying to find a practice that will take me this last second, etc.
It isn't fair. It's crappy care. But I will enjoy what I can out of this. It does freaking suck though.
An update
I posted this on another board that I'm on. If it doesn't make sense, sorry, but I don't feel like rewriting it now. Best of luck to all of you! I'm headed in for a RCS today at 11 despite the fact that my baby is healthy, I'm healthy and I'm experiencing contractions and more loss of my mucus plug, and ACOG says it is a safe option for me to consider VBA2C as a way for my baby to enter the world.
Earlier Post -
Week 12 - 1st Appt - I walked into office and explained my history and how I had had poor care at H Hospital - Unnecessary Induction to c/s and scheduled c/s turned GA. I asked to be supported to have a calm c/s. Midwife said "how about a VBA2C?" Woot woot! I was in.Every appt, I told dr's my story, all dr's said - we'll see what happens, but I was a good candidate for VBA2C. They kept agreeing to go over my case at a high risk meeting, but every time I asked if they had, they never did. I was told not to worry about it and everyone was on board, so I stopped asking
40 W1 Day - Told had just discovered that hospital policy did not cover VBA2C but would ask if was okay.
40 W 2 Day - No phone call
40W3Day - Office appt - baby fine, don't have answer about allowing VBA2C, moved to labor and delivery for NST - told at this time that VBA2C not an option - c/s would be Monday at 41 W1 day unless I went into labor sooner. They had no room for an earlier c/s.
This monday c/s would have the Dr that was insensitive present, an anesthesiologist that would not allow two people in the OR (doula and husband). I had originally agreed to this b/c of the possibility of VBA2C being on the table.
Tonight - 40W3Day - I called back office and told them that I would not be waiting until Monday and they would c/s me tonight or tomorrow, if VBA2C would not be allowed.
They confirmed that they would not do a VBA2C on me. If I showed up at the hospital in labor, they would perform an emergency c/s. They found a spot for me tomorrow with two drs that I liked. I'm on call all day and cannot eat past 10pm tonight.
I am promising myself to focus on my tulips. I got a taste of the pasta in Italy, and there's really nothing that I feel comfortable doing so last minute. I just want to enjoy the moment.
I know that I have the choice to show up pushing, refuse c/s etc, but it's just too much. I can't drive myself crazy trying to find a practice that will take me this last second, etc.
It isn't fair. It's crappy care. But I will enjoy what I can out of this. It does freaking suck though.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: An update
The story that keeps me focused.
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
What an awful thing to do! After you have the baby can you file a formal complaint with the practice? By lying to you they basically stopped you from looking for a doctor/hospital that would allow a VBA2C and that isn't fair.
Good luck today! And congrats on your baby
I agree- plus if they are telling you that you could show up pushing and they'd still do a CS makes them seem dangerous and psychotic.
But I am glad you are at peace and wish you a safe delivery and quick recovery!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I am so sorry that things were switched up on you at the last minute. I think that you are truly remarkable woman to keep such a positive outlook on things. Life doesn't go according to plan, and it sucks that you were prevented from trying to do something that you had every right to do. But like many things that don't go according to plan, they will be with us for the rest of our lives, and I am so happy that you will be able to look back at this moment and do more then just mourn. I know that you won't read this until later (if at all, a newborn is a lot of work), but wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts. I hope that you have a pleasant, calm c-section and that recovery is a breeze. Good luck mom, and enjoy the newest addition to your family!
I'm so happy you get to meet your baby today.
I really feel for your situation. It seems like you have done a great job advocating for yourself and you were able to give your lo the extra time needed in the womb.
Take care of yourself.
This is beautiful story... but was not written about the difference between a c-section and vaginal birth.. it was written by a Mom who had a baby that had Down Syndrome. It is very near and dear to the DS community.... Maybe you didn't know?
Either way I'm so very sorry about the loss of your VBA2C. Like you said I'm glad you got to experience some of labor so that is a victory in itself! Good luck and can't wait to see pictures of that beautiful baby!
Thanks for clarifying this. It's also very near and dear to parents with special needs kids, so I raised an eye brow at it being used in this context.
Does it really matter? I did know that that story was most often used in a different context, but what is the harm with this poster finding meaning in it to apply to her own situation? I don't really see the point of either of you "setting her straight" in this regard. Hope it made you feel better somehow?
OP - I'm sorry you've been getting jerked around like this. You're right, it sucks. I'm happy that you've found a way to make it positive though and I really hope everything went well! Congratulations on your new bundle of joy and I hope to see your birth story posted soon!
You know what? No it doesn't. Not in a post where someone is coming to terms with a very difficult problem in their life. You are looking very small and petty right now.
You need to get a grip. The story is a metaphor. It does not specifically talk about special needs children and can very obviously be applied to many situations. There is nothing wrong with you feeling that it is near and dear to you, but there is something completely ridiculous about thinking that you own this (very general, very relatable) story, and that anyone else who happens upon it and sees meaning in it too needs to be set straight.
Back up. You came into a thread posted by someone that is trying to focus on the good in a difficult situation. She made a point to say that this story is helping her realize that things will be ok. And you are trying to say she can't find meaning in it because...why? Does it make it less special for you? Does it taint it somehow? No. It does not. I understand that it was surprising for you to see someone here using it, but this thread was not the time or place for you to take a stand. Seriously.