Concerned LO is not getting enough from me

Sonadora · March 2011

These last two weeks have been so challenging. We've reverted totally backwards on sleeping, no more 4 and 3 hour stretches at night. Last night she was up every two hours or less. It's only 8 am and she's already on her 4th feed of the day. How many feedings did your 10 week old take? We were down to 6-8 a day and no we are consistently back up to 10-12. I feel like everything is going backwards. She's even fussy at the boob during the day, latching, unlatching, crying. She cries when she comes off and cries while I try to burp her and cries when she finishes eating and then seems famished not even two hours later. She hasn't had any spit up in days and days. I'm losing it here. By the time all the up and downs at night happen and I manage to fall asleep again, I'm totaling maybe 4-5 hours of sleep and I'm non functional. I don't have the energy to deal with her all day. She's also just so fussy all day long. Nomatter if holding her, not holding her, playing with her, whatever. If shes not fussing she's screaming. And naps have totally gone out the door again. She's only sleeping 7-9 hours or less every 24. What am I doing wrong??? Sorry for formatting/typos I'm on my phone.

someflower6 · March 2011

oh hun, i'm so sorry. you're not doing ANYTHING wrong. you are a great mama, and you are doing a great job. babies are so challenging and exahusting. they are constantly changing. i wish i had some advice for you.

the newborn period was really really hard for me. i quit breastfeeding by 2 weeks because it was SO challenging, and truth be told, we had just as many issues with formula! it seemed like no matter what i did, my baby was crying and fussing. she was so inconsistend with feeding... just when i thought we had established a routine, she'd go and change it up. she STILL does this, i am still always guessing with her.

you absolutely need your rest. these days of 4-5hrs of sleep WILL pass, but in the meantime i know how incredibly hard they are. does she ever get bottles? can you pump and ask your husband to take care of some of the feedings, especially at night, so you can rest?

LemonLime10 · March 2011

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. Have you done a weighed feeding? Is LO gaining weight? Enough wet and poopy diapers?

ceramsey · March 2011

I agree with PP-the newborn phase was sooo exhausting and challenging for me. DS was at the boob for an hour every 1-2hrs and very fussy. He started screaming when latching and my gut told me something was up. Turns out he had reflux and, while I hate giving medicine, it changed him. He still fed as often (though it eventually started to stretch out to 2-3hrs) but the screaming stopped. And just when I thought maybe he didn't have reflux, he would start screaming again and we'd have out monthly gastro appointment and sure enough, he had gained so much weight his doseage needed to be upped. Within a day, he was a happy baby again. I'm not saying your LO has reflux, just sharing my experience.

DS also went through some crazy growth spurts and it seemed that I was just never enough for him. I started pumping (this was in week 4-7 maybe?) and supplementing after he nursed and that helped to get him through the spurt. I was also so exhausted and wasn't pumping enough to get a back-up supply of milk that DH started taking 1-2 night feedings of formula so I could pump-yes, I was still awake-but after a week I had enough milk stored that he was able to give milk bottles. After 2-3 weeks, DS slowed down in his night wakings and I took back the night nursing sessions. Exact dates? I have NO clue! :-) But it wasn't until 10-12 weeks that the nursing finally slowed, until the next growth spurt of course!

As for schedules, we tried and tried to find a pattern but it wasn't until maybe 3-4m that we finally got into a routine, but even then he switched it up every 2-3 months. You're doing a great job! Hang in there!

Sonadora · March 2011

I haven't done a weighed feeding since 2 weeks old. She seems to have plenty of dipes, about 10 a day total and her morning one is always soaked and heavy. I called the pedi, we're going in today to have her evaluated for reflux since this is such a drastic change and the nurse agreed that's not enough sleep and crying when shes done eating isn't a good sign.

ceramsey · March 2011

I forgot to mention that, before he was diagnosed w/reflux, he was sleeping an average of 10 hours/day...all day, naps and night included. And I had to hold him for naps. It was awfully exhausting. Good luck today. (BTW, I think a lot of woman who had LO's with reflux found that Zantac-what they will most likely prescribe first-did not cut it and they switched to prevacid/prilosec.)

grr_aargh · March 2011

I'm sorry. It's frustrating.

That said, you've practically described my baby. She's TOUGH. At 10 weeks she had a growth spurt that was exhausting. We'd cluster feed in the mornings for 2-3 hours AND at night for 2-3 hours, feed every 90 mins throughout the night and every 2 hours during the day. This would put us at about 14-18 feedings a day, which seems impossible, doesn't it?

She'd also go 2-3 days with terrible sleep - then 1-2 days with ok sleep - then back to the terrible stuff.

Honestly, surviving those times was about finding a decent support group, letting the house go to shambles, and resting anytime I could, even if it was 5 minutes in the carpool lane at school.

Sonadora · March 2011

It does seem impossible grr.

I'm finding it so hard to rest. Even if I do manage to get her to sleep, by the time I doze off (I think I'm just such a wreck over this that I can't shut my mind down no matter what) she's up again. At night, same thing. I go to bed at the same time she does, it takes me an hour to fall asleep, then my H comes to bed and wakes me up again and I take another hour to fall asleep, then she's up an hour later.

Yesterday my H came home early because I was losing it and he tried to calm her so I could take a nap, but she just kept yelping and fussing even though I had just fed her, so I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing her.

I've had (TMI) constant diarrhea for over 2 weeks now, and I've spent the last two days just crying. And trying to entertain my fussy baby with tears streaming down my face.

EmKo0210 · March 2011

((HUGS)) I hope the pedi can help figure out what is going on. DD was diagnosed with refluxand once she was on the right meds (zantac didn't work, prevacid did) she was like a different baby.

I hope you're able to get some rest soon.

hopingwaiting · March 2011

(((Hugs))).

The newborn phase is soooo tough. It sounds like a growth spurt or just general newborn fussiness. I had days when it felt like LO was on the boob all.the.time (because he was!), and it was so exhausting. I also mentally tortured myself with questions about my supply, letdown, foremilk/hindmilk, dairy allergies, reflux, the whole bit, but I honestly think it was all just my baby being my baby. To this day he won't go more than 2 hours between daytime feedings, but his night sleeping got progressively better making things easier and easier over time.

I promise that the newborn phase gets better. One day, it's like somebody brings you a whole new baby who's happier, smilier, coo-ier (is that a word?), and fusses when something is needed not just for no apparent reason. I think they just need to develop. The change is really sudden and really remarkable.

In the meantime, for sanity, my advice: It's really hard to express milk when baby is nursing that often, but if you can do a little (probably in the morning when your supply is highest), maybe your DH could take a night feeding or two to give you some rest. If you can't (I never could find time in the beginning), what worked for us was to have DH do a lot of the diapering, holding/bouncing, etc. in the late evening and early morning so that I could just feed and go back to sleep during those times. I would do the middle of the night/wee morning wakeups so he would still be functional at work. For fussiness, baby-wearing, the shower, and going outside were the secrets for my baby. Definitely accept help wherever you can!

Hope this is a growth spurt and things get more reasonable in a day or two. Hang in there! You're doing a great job, mommy.

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