embarrassing question - playing with your baby

redshoegirl · March 2011

I feel like a HUGE idiot for posting this, but here goes: if you have an older baby, how do you play with them? What activities do you do and how do you do them?

I'm asking because I feel like the older the boys get, the less I can play with them (and I thought I felt useless when I didn't know how to "play" with a newborn lol!). I'll stack blocks for them to knock down, sing songs, read books, show them puppets, that kind of thing, but honestly they're also perfectly happy to play with each other without me...hell, sometimes I think they have MORE fun with just each other.

And half the time when I'm playing with them, they don't really want to play with me in the traditional Mama-and-baby-play-together-with-a-toy kind of way - they just crawl all over me, smoosh my nose between their fingers, that kind of thing. Which is fine but I don't know that it could actually be called "playing", if that makes sense.

It's also a little difficult because they get...not exactly jealous of each other (although there is that on occasion), but because if for example I'm playing with blocks with them and one crawls into my lap, the other boy will suddenly lose all interest in the blocks and also want to crawl into my lap, which gets them all excited and means I just end up with two kids yanking hard on my hair. Tongue Tied

I've read about games like Really Big Buttons, which sound good, but I can't do them easily because there's no way to sit and do an activity with just one boy - the other would tear in and spread the buttons to the four corners of the room, and if I try to go to another room for some one-on-one time, the baby left behind will howl.

I feel so stupid for posting this (hey! I can't even figure out how to play with my own kids!) but I really don't know what to do and I could use some ideas. Crying

sanae78 · March 2011

Do not feel stupid. I kinda feel the same way. Kaya is perfectly happy to climb all over me too. Or just walk around a big open space with us just hanging out nearby. Lately she likes to put something in her mouth and transfer it to us - like have us take it from her with our mouth. She does it with those pop links or whatever. Who knows why, but it amuses her. You're lucky the boys have each other to play with. I bet it's easier for you to get things done!

lola808 · March 2011

Not dumb. I'm sure we all feel like we're running out of novel ideas at some point. And to me, whatever it is counts as playing as long as they're engaged and enjoying themselves!

sanae78:
Lately she likes to put something in her mouth and transfer it to us - like have us take it from her with our mouth. She does it with those pop links or whatever.

A likes to play this with his paci. If I put it in my mouth backwards, he'll dive for it with his mouth. Then after he has it, I'll say "share paci with mama" and he'll put it back in my mouth. Pretty funny new trick!

I also play games like getting him to respond to certain "commands," like I'll say lines from a book and see if he can pick the right one, or open up a picture book with two simple pictures and see if he can touch the picture of the thing I say, or we practice things he already knows like "nene (sleep)," "clap clap," and petting the dog "nice nice." Then, there's tons of YAYing and laughing no matter what the result, which he really seems to enjoy.

In general, A's much more interested in physical activity and socializing than he is in his toys, so we spend a lot of play time on the go. He loves to throw the ball back and forth, play chase around the furniture or go outside and feed the fish, follow birds or play with bubbles. I also take him to the park and let him wander or climb on the equipment (might be hard for you with two, since I always have to have my hands on him). And we go out pretty much every day to the bookstore, the library, the market, the mall, etc. and he just has fun socializing and I narrate all the new things.

Finally, we just signed up for a Gymboree music class and totally love it. We take him to open gym time at least twice a week in addition to the class and he just plays and learns to be nice to friends.

It's rare that I can entertain him at home all day. He gets fussy or bored or my attention wanders... so, for us, getting out is almost the easiest way to keep the play time coming.

inamra · March 2011

Not a silly question at all! I was *just* thinking the same thing today! I feel like I'm running out of ideas or things to do with him and he's just playing with the same toys over and over again. So I'm looking forward to more ideas too! Thanks for posting this

KShiz · March 2011

redshoegirl:
I'll stack blocks for them to knock down, sing songs, read books, show them puppets, that kind of thing, but honestly they're also perfectly happy to play with each other without me...hell, sometimes I think they have MORE fun with just each other.
And half the time when I'm playing with them, they don't really want to play with me in the traditional Mama-and-baby-play-together-with-a-toy kind of way - they just crawl all over me, smoosh my nose between their fingers, that kind of thing. Which is fine but I don't know that it could actually be called "playing", if that makes sense.
It's also a little difficult because they get...not exactly jealous of each other (although there is that on occasion), but because if for example I'm playing with blocks with them and one crawls into my lap, the other boy will suddenly lose all interest in the blocks and also want to crawl into my lap, which gets them all excited and means I just end up with two kids yanking hard on my hair.

Honestly, it sounds like you're doing it right to me. I really don't think there's much more too it than being there w/ your babies, doing what they want to do (even if it's smooshing your nose, although, yeah, hair pulling would get old pretty quickly) and relaxing. Rob sits in E's room w/ her and they roll toy cars off of the top of her doll house, she thinks it hilarious. There's no point, nothing learned, just something that's fun for the sake of it.

I don't think every activitity needs to be managed and done "right". KWIM?

MrsNJSwimmer · March 2011

I do a lot of cause and effect stuff with him too - if I play with the car on the couch and it gets close to the edge, it falls off. If the car goes too far back, I can't reach it. Balls bouncing, spinning toys, just using toys in different ways than they are intended to be used (he often comes up with these ideas on his own!).

sanae78 · March 2011

lola808:
I also play games like getting him to respond to certain "commands,"

We do this too. She knows her head, nose, ears, mouth, etc, so I try to ask her every day "Where's your head?" or whatever, just so she doesn't forget.

MrsNJSwimmer · March 2011

sanae78:
lola808:

I also play games like getting him to respond to certain "commands,"

We do this too. She knows her head, nose, ears, mouth, etc, so I try to ask her every day "Where's your head?" or whatever, just so she doesn't forget.

Oh yeah! This is fun. He listens to a Sesame Street CD at bathtime, and for some reason, he has picked up on where his big toe is and LOVES that part! He knows where his ear is, but gets confused on other parts at times, lol

redshoegirl · March 2011

Thanks all! I guess I just feel like I "should" be doing more stuff with them - you read all these baby sites, and they tell you specific activities (like the big button game I linked to) and emphasize how important they are for development, so I'm sitting here going, "I don't do any of this - my kids are never going to learn anything! *sob* OK so maybe not that dramatic lol, but you know what I mean.

Someone mentioned cause and effect stuff, and we do that a lot - you push the ball, it rolls away, you have to go after it...you pull the book to the edge of the bookshelf and it falls off...etc.

KShiz:
I don't think every activitity needs to be managed and done "right". KWIM?

This is a good point too, and really good advice. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the Must Be Best Mama Ever And Do Everything Right thing that this can be easy to lose track of.

KShiz · March 2011

redshoegirl:
Thanks all! I guess I just feel like I "should" be doing more stuff with them - you read all these baby sites, and they tell you specific activities (like the big button game I linked to) and emphasize how important they are for development, so I'm sitting here going, "I don't do any of this - my kids are never going to learn anything! *sob* OK so maybe not that dramatic lol, but you know what I mean.
Someone mentioned cause and effect stuff, and we do that a lot - you push the ball, it rolls away, you have to go after it...you pull the book to the edge of the bookshelf and it falls off...etc.
KShiz:
I don't think every activitity needs to be managed and done "right". KWIM?
This is a good point too, and really good advice. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the Must Be Best Mama Ever And Do Everything Right thing that this can be easy to lose track of.

a. Reading baby sites is similar to reading beauty magazines, the more you read, the worse you feel.

b. Trying not to be super mom is REALLY hard. You just want to do what's "best". Just know that if you don't continuously stimulate their tiny brains at every possible second of every possible day, those brains, most likely, will not fall out of their little heads.

c. The antidote to "over" parenting is a book called NurtureShock, it's like a great big deep breath & release for being a mom It's just a totally different perspective on parenting.

redshoegirl · March 2011

sanae78:
You're lucky the boys have each other to play with. I bet it's easier for you to get things done!

Heh sort of. Except then you feel guilty for doing something other than interacting with them while they're awake. Stick out tongue

myday1708 · March 2011

I agree with Kristen... I think just BEING with them is playing! You'll figure out what makes them laugh and then do that.

OK, I just went back and looked at what Alexa was doing at 10-11 months... Some of her favorite things at that age, to give you ideas, were (cut and pasted from my blog):

10 months:

Gets VERY excited and giggles when we hide behind a wall or under a blanket and then come out and say "Peek-a-boo!"And, if we give her the blanket, she will hold it over herself to hide and then come out!Loves being dipped upside down, a game that usually elicits giggles and huge smilesIs TOTALLY ticklish! Laughs out loud when you tickle the bottoms of her feet or under her chinContinues to delight us by giving us kisses, zerberts and high fives!Has learned that if she puts the back of her hand on and off her mouth while talking, it makes a funny "Indian" noise!Able to take rings out of a cup or blocks off of a shelf, but has not learned to put them back!11 months:She can waive goodbye!She can clap! Yay, clapping!She can put small things into a container, like putting all her ducks into a plastic bowl!She can roll a ball! We're still working on her throw...Loves playing hide and seek! I go hide behind the couch and she crawls over and "finds" me, and when she does she cracks up laughing!

(Under "Hot Topics" click on "Birthday Pictures" ... https://growinglimabean.blogspot.com/search/label/birthday pictures )

mrspresley · March 2011

totally not an embarrassing question and i think you can see from the replies that what you're doing is just fine! it does seem to get a bit redundant to me, sometimes, doing the same thing all the time...but never to her!! so i think as long as they are having fun it's all good

did you see the post below from HulaLove about "Toddler Play"? lots of great ideas in there, even if the boys are still a little younger!

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