Parenting after 35

Daycare concern

Hi all
I have an odd concern. But it's been nagging at me a while.
Jace goes to an awesome daycare where he is very loved. His main teacher loves him like crazy and the feeling is mutual. She is 20 years old and adores him. I like her a lot, too. She's become a part of our family. We took her to dinner for her bday, she came over when it snowed and the ctr was closed but I needed to work, she's going to Cassidy's basketball tourney this weekend. It's just a really special relationship and I feel so fortunate.
So what's the problem? Well, at school, Jace is showered by attention. When his teacher leaves the room, he leaves with her. No one else is allowed to do this. He drinks whatever she drinks and no one else is able to. When i look on the video (room has csmeras i can access from my computer), Jace is always being held There are so many examples. In a nutshell, we are blessed and thrilled with the attn. However, I'm starting to feel like he's getting too much attn (sounds so stupid). I guess I just see how much more he gets than the other kids and I don't want him to feel like he gets special treatment that the other 15 kids don't. Maybe I'm worried about nothing because at this age, he is oblivious to it?
Bottom line- I'm worried that he's spoiled and that it will hurt him down the road. I grew up as an only child and was very spoiled. I can't tell you how many ways this hurt me growing up. I had a pretty big sense of entitlement and I'm just do embarrassed and kind of ashamed of it now. I just don't want to have Jace experience that too.
Does this all sound stupid? Am I just bring drugged and silly? I'm just so sensitive to the spoiled child syndrome and don't want to encourage it. I spoil him, too, but I feel that's my job :)
thanks ladies!

Re: Daycare concern

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  • I totally get what you're saying.  I think I'd worry, too.  It's wonderful that he's sooo loved, but maybe since you're close to his DCP, talk to her a bit, mention that you're worried that he seems to get so much more than the other babies?

    I hope you're feeling better today! 

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  • I'd worry about that too, but I'm not really sure what to do about it. I think he's too young to get it, but I guess all you can do for the future is to teach him how NOT to be entitled.
  • Oh geez. I dunno, Jenn. I can certainly see why Jace is so well-loved. What a special bond he has at daycare (and beyond).

    I don't know how you address that. I can see your concern. I'll be watching this post with interest to see what others say.

    And, how are YOU????? (i always read posts in reverse chronological order....you may have already posted)

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  • PeskyPesky member
    DS has/had the same experience with a teacher in his infant room.  She adopted him and would cart him around with her when running to the kitchen for ice or just to show him the artwork of the kids in the hallways.  He got ice water, no one else did.  Honestly, he's fine.  He got promoted out of the room and the teacher still comes on her breaks and lunches to visit with him and has even babysat a few times (she normally doesn't, being in her late 40s, early 50s and having no need).    I think it is fine to be aware of this and I will say I worked a bit hard to make sure he knew who his teachers were well before a promotion.  But honestly, it also helped come promotion time because the teacher had already been talking to the new teachers and scolding them to take care of her Ty-Ty!


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  • We had this same concern in the last room V was in.  Wonderful teacher who carted her around, bought outfits for her, and was very attached.  However we have switched rooms (we move every 6 months to a new room) and now we don't have the same attachment and I miss it very much.  I would just keep an eye on his personality and address it as needed.  Don't worry you're a great mom and it will fall in place since you will recognize any warning signs.

    On another note I hope you are feeling better.

  • I think he is still too young to feel entitled. I wouldn't worry about it yet.
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  • M.AmyM.Amy member

    imageJenniferTCU:
    Hi all
    Bottom line- I'm worried that he's spoiled and that it will hurt him down the road. I grew up as an only child and was very spoiled. I can't tell you how many ways this hurt me growing up. I had a pretty big sense of entitlement and I'm just do embarrassed and kind of ashamed of it now. I just don't want to have Jace experience that too.
    Does this all sound stupid? Am I just bring drugged and silly? I'm just so sensitive to the spoiled child syndrome and don't want to encourage it. I spoil him, too, but I feel that's my job :)
    thanks ladies!

    I totally hear you. When I think about how I acted (even now) it is embarrassing.  But those behaviors are set up at an older age.  You can help by teaching Jace how to handle disappointment. Feeling entitled I think comes from never really having to deal with disappointment.  

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  • I wouldn't worry about it too much. Once he moves to a different class, he might have a slightly different experience.

    When I worked in a DC, I had favorites. They were not always the favorites as the other teachers. "Favorites" isn't even the right word. It's more of a connection.

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  • I am in the same boat.  Michael is the "pick" of the owner of my daycare.  And there is no option of moving classrooms because there is only one.  His physical therapy assistant have even noticed it.  But the way I see it, by the time he gets old enough to really notice that she plays favorites (if there is a difference in the way she treats the kids) he will be in regular school and mostly out of daycare. 

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  • I think you're reading too much into it. I doubt he's going to be ruined for life b/c he gets extra attn from his daycare provider. If it bothers you, you could casually mention it to the woman, but I would tread carefully here. She might be hurt and you don't want those hard feelings to affect the way she cares for Jace. On the other hand, if you think their relationship is unhealthy (like, she almost thinks he's her own son), then you need to address that. Good luck, it's a toughie!
    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
  • imageateytelb:
    I think he is still too young to feel entitled. I wouldn't worry about it yet.

     

    This

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