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February 2011 Moms
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Starting to resent DH

Bridgetkate28Bridgetkate28 member
in February 2011 Moms

Ok... so I am still on maternity leave and DH works in sales.  He can work from home on certain days but when he does have to go to the office he has an hour commute.  

Yesterday he worked from home.  He went to the gym, came home around 7:30pm and when I went to give him the LO so I could clean the kitchen he informed me that he had to get up at 6am tomorrow (meaning today) to head down to the office.  This was his way of telling me that he would not be doing the next feeding at 11:30pm.  

Side note: he does not do middle of the night feedings or early morning feedings because "he has to work in the morning and can't function if he has interrupted sleep."  So he usually takes on the last feeding before bed and I go to bed early.

Anyway, am I wrong for starting to get a little bitter about this situation?  Baby is 6.5 weeks old and DH has yet to do a middle of the night feeding. 

Sorry if this is confusing,  I just had to vent. 

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Re: Starting to resent DH

  • TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member

    I'd be miffed. With my other two, DH never, ever got up to help. He'll only help at night if he isn't working the next day, aka Fri&Sat nights.

    If the only help he'll give you is at 11:30, then he needs to make sure he doesn't skip out on you no matter the reason.

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  • danayandcorydanayandcory
    I completely understand. DH says the same thing about the middle of the night/early morning feedings. However, he also won't do the last feeding of the night because DD is "fussy." Last night I asked him to hold her while I cleaned up from dinner since I had already made dinner with DD (in the moby wrap). He yelled at me 5 minutes later that I had to come get her because she "wouldn't sit still and be quiet"?!? WTF? She's only 6 weeks old! I about lost it at that point. He had been home for less than 2 hours and was already complaining about her, I don't think he has any idea what it's like to be with her all the time 24/7 with very few breaks from the fussing.
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  • sarag0116sarag0116 member
    Yeah there needs to be some sort of compromise.  Since I'm on maternity leave and DH is working, I don't ask him to do the middle of the night feeding.  His job is physically demanding and I want him to get a full night sleep.  That being said, he doesn't mind waking up early, so he does the 1st feeding between 5 and 6:30.  We need sleep too.
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  • daniellepandadaniellepanda member

    Wow i would be super pissed if I was you. You need to get rest too, just because you are on maternity leave doesnt mean you are not working.... you are taking care of a newborn all day long that is just as hard, if not harder then a 9-5 job.

    I pump 2 times during the day so that there is a bottle in the fridge for my husband to do the 3am feeding. He usually sleeps from 11pm-3am and then 4/5am-8am & I usually do the 12am feeding, and sleep from 1-6am. Of coarse as long as LO isnt being fussy and is sleeping in between night feedings, which he usually is but if he is fussy we are usually both up trying to calm him down, etc.

     

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  • Jenniferk08Jenniferk08 member
    I'm with you on this one. H has yet to get out of bed and do a feeding. He'll sometimes do it before bed but rarely and usually after a lot of guilt from me.

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