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Custody/CS paper question....

Momma2NuggetMomma2Nugget
in Single Parents

The child support papers we have state:

"Each parent appointed as a conservator of the child has at all times the following rights and duties of a parent:
a.  to receive information from any other conservator of the child concerning the health, education and welfare of the child;"

DS has to have tubes put in due to constant ear infections and fluid build up behind his ears which is causing hearing loss. BD has never been involved in DS's life. He's never even seen him and doesn't want to. As far as custody goes, I have full custody and he even had it put in the papers that he does not want visitation. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I received the paperwork from the ENT yesterday that I need to get filled out. Part of it asks for a medical history from myself, BD, our parents, and his other children. Normally I might have just said hell with it but my child will be under general anesthesia for this and one of the big questions is about any harmful reactions to anesthesia. So given the wording on the papers and the situation at hand, should I text BD about tfhis and ask for the information? Should I perhaps find a way to contact his mother? I haven't actually spoken to BD since September 2009. Please give me your opinions. I have until tomorrow at 11am to get this information since that's when the ENT needs the paper work by. Thank you!

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Re: Custody/CS paper question....

  • cbbccbbc
    Personally, I would text him and if I didn't hear from him I would try to contact his mom. Just let him know you never considered getting a family medical history and now you need one. Keep it short and to the point and hopefully he'll oblige.  
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  • sapphire angelsapphire angel member

    imagecbbc:
    Personally, I would text him and if I didn't hear from him I would try to contact his mom. Just let him know you never considered getting a family medical history and now you need one. Keep it short and to the point and hopefully he'll oblige.  

    Ditto to this. I did tell Ex about the ear tubes surgery because we have that same wording in our paperwork. He insisted on being there but never showed up (not that I was surprised by his lack of appearance). 

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  • Momma2NuggetMomma2Nugget

    Thanks ladies!

    Sapphire - Did he give you the medical history you needed? I already know BD won't show up for the surgery since we live 300 miles away from him at this point and he's never so much as text me to ask about DS. Hell, DS turned 1 this past Saturday and BD never acknowledged this either.

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  • sweetie0228sweetie0228 member

    If he doesn't give you a medical history you have to just let the doctor know that you dont' have access to that information.  It would be like a parent with a closed adoption and not having a full medical history.

    It will be okay and the doctors will be able to proceed without his medical info.  :)

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  • sapphire angelsapphire angel member
    No, he didn't give me the info although he said he would email it to me. I talked to the doctor's office the afternoon before and they were not worried about the missing information. It was enough to know that on my side there was no unusual responses to anesthesia. I guess they may have been more aware of potential issues during the surgery since they knew half the information was missing...
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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member

    There are two separate issues.

    1) Getting the history.  Do what you can, but don't worry excessively about it.  The docs would like to know, but they will be fine regardless.

    2) Custody agreement wording.  He has a right under those documents to be made aware that the surgery is being done.  Photocopy what the doctor gave you and mail them to his attention at his mother's address or his current address if you know it.  



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  • Momma2NuggetMomma2Nugget
    Boston - As far as the custody agreement goes, I have included BD's name on all of DS's daycare and doctor papers. He is allowed to call them and ask for information if he wants it. I don't know if I'm supposed to give him updates on DS or anything. He is aware of the surgery as is the rest of his family. I have been more than forthcoming with information to him in regards to DS. He's just never been receptive. The last time I actually heard from him was when he text me in Sept 2009 to tell me what I could and couldn't name DS. Since then he hasn't so much as e-mailed me. I would willingly send updates and even pictures of DS to him but I don't know if it's allowed or even encouraged since he has requested no visitation. Plus I don't know if it could be considered harassment if I were to send updates to him.
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