BF & Ignorant comments (kinda long)

LuvTrav · March 2011

This will be my first child, I am doing my best to read and take classes to get as informed as I can so I can hopefully be successful. My mother never breastfed and neither did my MIL. I know it can be a foreign subject to many people including them but I just wish they would think before they speak. Maybe I should create a handout discussing BF and FAQs, etc. because at this point I don't know how I am supposed to respond to ignorant comments. For example:

The other day the ILs were at our house checking out the nursery when I pointed out the glider and referred to it as "my nursing chair". FIL quickly responded "More like Travis' chair" (MH's name is Travis) I jokingly said well Travis won't have milk coming out of his breasts! To which MIL responds, "Well you CAN pump"

I wanted to be like okay, I am going to pump and save so MH can wake up and hold the baby while I wake up anyway and attach a pump to my breasts to maintain my supply... makes sense... but I didn't say a word. I know they just meant that MH will be happy to help and wake up with the baby and they were not meaning anything else, but I have already come across this watching my sister BF and listening to my family say how she is being stingy with the baby and wont let others feed her, etc. UGH it drives me nuts!

I need a pamphlet to hand commenters that is filled with BF facts and FAQs to put an end to this in both sides of my family

NJMom050911 · March 2011

I think what would bother me more is that by calling it your husband?s chair it makes it seem like he will be spending more time in that chair than you will. Even if you pump that doesn't mean that he gets to feed your baby more than you so I don't understand her comment.

People say weird things about any and all part of pregnancy, I've learned to just let it go. You and your husband need to be on the same page, no one else.

mzsparklepdx · March 2011

They seriously said your sister was hogging the baby by BFing her?? Wow. I'm sorry you have to deal with the ignorance, even if they mean well. Maybe you could find some nice, prestigious websites about the benefits of BF and send them to them with a nice note about how you're looking forward to doing it?

LuvTrav · March 2011

kathygrzywnowicz:
I think what would bother me more is that by calling it your husband?s chair it makes it seem like he will be spending more time in that chair than you will. Even if you pump that doesn't mean that he gets to feed your baby more than you so I don't understand her comment.
People say weird things about any and all part of pregnancy, I've learned to just let it go. You and your husband need to be on the same page, no one else.

I know what you mean about the DH's chair comment but, FIL and DH are baby hogs! They are both the unusual male who could seriously hold a baby all day and be happy so, knowing this about them I assumed that's what he meant. And even knowing that the comment still irked me. DH and I are definitely on the same page and I have been sharing literature with him and we have a BF class on Saturday that will help drive a few points home.

jeffrae · March 2011

be prepared for stares galore from your MIL and Mom. neither BF either, and when I did (no way I was covering up at home...it was hard enough getting the latch down those first few weeks), they stared and stared and stared. It was weird at first....but they had literally never seen it before - so I don't think they even knew they were doing it. I still to this day have never told them that they were. FIL always left the room, even if I was covered.

Temp38995750004016 · March 2011

I was going to say that I plan on pumping so DH can give her one bottle in the evening (after 3 weeks) but now that you've given more context, their comments are just downright annoying. Ugh! Are you going to give LO any bottles at all? I'm curious to see who is doing what. My neighbor never gave bottles and at four months she and DH couldnt leave baby with a sitter because she wouldn't eat!

sparkymcgeee · March 2011

Yeah your whole post made me irritated for you. I'd have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut. I have no problem telling people like it is when it comes to my child. I had to tell my handicapped uncle that he wouldn't even be holding my child at first. If I can do that I can tell anyone how it is. And I have.

00tedsgirl · March 2011

mzsparklepdx:
They seriously said your sister was hogging the baby by BFing her??

At this point I would welcome them to lactate. It takes a special kind of douchebag to even make a mother nursing her child about them.

LuvTrav · March 2011

pook:
I was going to say that I plan on pumping so DH can give her one bottle in the evening (after 3 weeks) but now that you've given more context, their comments are just downright annoying. Ugh! Are you going to give LO any bottles at all? I'm curious to see who is doing what. My neighbor never gave bottles and at four months she and DH couldnt leave baby with a sitter because she wouldn't eat!

I will pump and plan on using bottles and I am fine with a paci too. That is because of my experience in the nursery during clinicals this semester and the fact that babies often like to soothe by sucking and she for sure is not going to use my breast as a pacifier! I would like MH to be able to have some time with the baby but I just wish people knew that it is not as simple as just pumping and giving a bottle. The pumped milk is often harder to get and if I am there and it is a feeding time, I will likely have to pump to during that feeding time anyway to prevent engorgement and to keep up my supply.

MrsJD2 · March 2011

I completely understand. My mother never breastfed and she doesn't understand it at all. One day we were talking about me getting sleep right after the baby is here, and she keeps saying she can be here during the day to take care of LO so I can nap, I point out that newborns need to eat every couple hours, and she wonders why I can't just pump so she can give the baby a bottle while I sleep. I tell her I won't be giving LO a bottle until bf-ing is established. She also then started making comments about me pumping so DH can give LO a bottle in the middle of the night (again, so I can sleep). I point out that I would still need to pump in the middle of the night, and it doesn't make sense for us both to be up.

I know there's going to be a lot more comments, and I expect to hear all sorts of complaints on how I am hogging my baby by not letting anyone else feed him. I am self-employed and work from home quite a bit. My mom will be watching LO a couple days a week starting in the fall. I will be pumping and giving him an occasional bottle because sometimes I will need to be away from him. But on the days where I don't have client meetings or something, I'm just going to feed him myself - pumping seems like such a hassle when I could very easily just feed him.

mrbear83 · March 2011

totally feel you. Unfortunately, my ILs were "all boob" people, and they couldn't leave LO for a session, b/c he wouldn't eat.

Fortunately, my mom is very knowledgeable on BFing, so she's going to be a great help. I plan on at least one bottle a day, whether it's pumped or formula to help transition. Most likely will EBF for the few 2 weeks to establish that supply

krispy127 · March 2011

Ha that is so dam funny, yea why is it 00tedsgirl that when you get pregnant that everyone try's to make it all about them. I"m so worried when we have the baby that all I'll get is stupid comments and go off on people and have to blame it on the hormones lol.