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It's been 1 week since we found out our baby died...

fondybridefondybride
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

1 week. An exhausting. Horrible. Emotional. Try to be happy. Week.

One week ago (in about 20 minutes from now) I knew there was a problem. No heartbeat. An hour later, my labor was being induced to deliver the baby boy that had promised to bring so much joy to our lives. All gone the instant the doctor's said "things aren't looking good."

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. My son turned 3 yesterday and I had to force myself to by happy for him. We also moved him to a big boy bed, which meant moving the crib out of his room. Big mistake. An empty crib is not what I wanted to see.

I am also having a really hard time seeing my pregnant co-workers. I feel so guilty for my feelings that I am having about them. I would never wish what I went through on anyone, yet at the same time I am resenting them and their healthy pregnancies.

Saturday was also very difficult as Saturdays was always the day I would add a week to my count. I would have been 18 weeks this Saturday. But instead I am mourning the loss of my son, my angel.

I went to church on Sunday and prayed to my baby. That helped a little, but I also started crying two times during the service for various reasons. A baptism and seeing my doctor.

I know we will get through this. I have met so many wonderful women out there that have. I just miss my baby boy. I miss being pregnant. I hate wearing maternity clothes when I am not pregnant. I hate the bleeding and soreness that I am feeling. I hate the bruises from the IVs from the labor. I want all these painful reminders to go away, but they are right there in my face, everyday.

Thank you for letting me share my emotions. When I posted my story last week "Miscarried at 17 weeks" there were so many wonderful women that responded. If any of you would like to talk more via email, I would love to. I am not sure how to PM on here but I would love to establish a more private network via email if any of you that had late miscarriages are interested.

DS#1 born 1/31/06 DS#2 born 3/7/08 DS#3 born sleeping at 17w 3d due to umbilical cord accident BFP#4 6/18/11 EDD 2/19/12 Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: It's been 1 week since we found out our baby died...

  • ChelseyB5186ChelseyB5186 member
    I'm so so so very sorry for your loss.  My heart breaks for you. I just recently found out I had a blighted ovum, and I can only begin to feel your pain.  BIG HUGS and I hope you start to feel better soon.  We are all here for you wishing you the best.
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  • DKC1308DKC1308

    There are no words I could ever say that would bring you the comfort I so much wish I could. Please know that there are so many wonderful women who are carrying your story on their hearts and will be praying for you and your family to find peace.

     

    T&P

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  • Denise91980Denise91980 member
    I am so sorry for your loss. I had an earlier m/c (no heartbeat at 9wks) which was tough for me, so I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel. There is nothing any of us can say to make you feel better, but know that you are not alone and there are many women who have gone through a similar situation...so support is key. Get as much support from strangers and loved ones, because that and time will help you to heal. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
    image

    BFP #1 1/1/11 EDD 9/10/11 dx:no hb DNC on 2/2/11
    BFP #2 12/28/11 natural m/c on 2/6/12   BFP#3 2/16/13 dx:ectopic on 2/27 (given methotrexate) HSG 6/13-all clear BFP#4 11/18/13 natural m/c on 11/23  IVF #1 (Natural IVF Cycle) May 2014- Cycle failed (embryo did not make it to blast) BFP#5-7/26/14 GROW BABY GROW    IT'S A BOY DUE 4/5/15!

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  • cole'swishescole'swishes

    I have not been on this board in almost a year and a half but I also lost my little boy at 17 weeks and my little girl at 19 weeks.  I would love to talk to you. My email is n i c o l e dot n i c h o l a s at gmail dot com.

    My heart breaks for you, 

    Nicole

     

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  • abbs20abbs20

    God has put you and your family on my heart this week.  I have prayed for God's peace, comfort and strength for you.  I will continue to pray for you and your family as you process your loss.  These are some verses that helped me when I needed it most.

    Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

    How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.   Isaiah 30:19

    I lift my eyes up to the hills-where does my help come from?                            My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.   Psalm 121:1-2

    I have many more verses that helped me through the tough times.  I also have songs and poems.  If you would like to talk more or would like more verses my email is abbeys@umflint.edu .  

    God Bless

     

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  • GummybearGummybear

    I don't post here as much any more but I also lost our son when his heart stopped at 16.5w. I have a 3 year old as well, so I understand that as well. I wanted to let you know I am praying for you and thinking of you.

    I am approaching the one year anniversary of his death and I wanted to tell you it does get better. It will never be the same, but where there is darkness, I PROMISE the light will shine again. It is a painful journey but we come out on the other end with our permanent scars, ready to face the world again.

    If you ever want to PM me, feel free. I am currently 20w pregnant again, and this has not been easy. But I pray that it will be worth it in the end. 

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