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North Carolina Babies
Parenting seen at the playground: WDYT?
Today J and I went to the library story time and then to the playground next to it. Usually all the little kids from the story time head over that way and play. Today a dad was there with his two older kids (around age 6ish?). He was VERY loud and vocal about the fact that they should run and play. Both boys wanted to climb the monkey bars but were scared . He made them go up and when the were stuck and screaming crying for him to help them he just yelled "no, trust me, just fall if you if you can't do it, I'm not going to help you." And he kept yelling at them just to fall and get it over with. This was done at separate times, so it was repeated twice for all to see. Both boys eventually did fall face first to the ground screaming crying (dad seemed proud of them they did it).
Both did get back up and try again. But I was horrified by it as were the other bystanders. Another woman went up to the boys and told them how brave they were, all the while the dad was video taping it to show the mom how "strong" they were. Do you think you should teach your kids to fall and get it over with? I just can't imagine doing it but they seemed fine after they fell, I guess the dads point was to show them it wasn't a big deal to fall. But it was still hard to watch.
ETA: I forgot the best part was when the boys asked the dad to do it and he couldn't! He just walked his fat short self while holding on to the bars and the kid were like "hey you aren't doing it right" and he claimed he was too heavy to lift up. I felt like screaming in his face "JUST DO IT JERK."
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Re: Parenting seen at the playground: WDYT?
Oh good lord. Some people, but to each their own. You need to teach kids to swim too but I'm not about to throw one in the deep and let 'um figure it out that way. I would definitely NOT do that to my kid. Monkey bar time? Oh how many times I held Chloe's legs as she crossed. Each time she got a little better and soon enough she was brave enough to try alone and when she had to let go, I was right there to make sure she didn't get hurt. That's the same way I learned. You also have to teach kids to fall the right way so they don't get hurt. It's still being brave to try new things.
I'm sure he wanted to tech his little "men" to be strong and tough, but they are still kids and need parental support. That does not make them weak or sissies. I feel so bad for the boys.
That's definitely not my parenting style! I'm much more of a nurturer! To be honest, probably too much of one. I'm the parent going down the slide with DS b/c he wants me to even though he's capable of doing it on his own. So, I'm not one to throw stones.
That said, I can sort of see a dad doing this. (Don't get me wrong, I would be appalled if I saw that happen. Like I said, I would be over there trying to help them across the monkey bars!) However, dad's want their sons to be tough. I think a lot of times they miss the point that their kids need to walk before they can run. I know my DH plays more roughly with DS (throwing him up in the air, wrestling with him, etc) than I do. I also think it has to do how the adult them-self was brought up. Hmm, I'm going to ask my husband what he would do if that were our son trying to learn how to play on the monkey bars.
That makes me sad
. I do encourage Maddie to do things that she thinks she can't do, if I am fairly confident that she can do it. And I may push her a little harder than she would herself- but not when it comes to something like falling or anything that could hurt her! And I know when to stop pushing and help- if they were screaming for him and crying, then they were way past the point where he should have been helping them.
I think if he wanted them to learn to jump down on their own, he should have helped them do it until they were confident enough to try it themselves. And he should have been right there with them to help that confidence. I do think it's important to teach Maddie to not give up if she tries something once and can't do it. But in this case it sounds like the kids were truly scared.
6 IUIs,IVF #1 w/ICSI = BFP!
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Our baby girl is here!
I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking.
I just asked DH what he would do if our baby boy was crying and scared on the monkey bars and he said he would go get him and help him down or across. Then I told him what I saw and he said, what a jerk!