Nowhere else to turn...(turned long, sorry)

Jezebell26 · March 2011

Hey ladies. Sorry to be debbie downer but i had an awful day yesterday that only you ladies can understand. I will try and sum up theses scenarios and will try to keep it short.

I am finished my masters in August. By my calculations, as long as i keep my GPA up to where it is now or a little higher, i will graduate with honors - magna *** laude. To me, this is a big deal as i have never graduated from anything with any honor. I wasnt going to throw myself a party and then decided because of this honor that i deserved it. Sunday i started researching places and prices and was getting ready to book something. I alerted my family of my chosen date, August 19 or 20. We have many things coming up this summer so i wanted to lock in my date. My aunt messages me (the mother of my cousin who popped up preggo) and tells me that she wants to have her daughters baby shower at the end of August. Me being nice said i'd move it to the week before if that helped. Well i was being polite and she took my offer. I then sat back and thought how silly it is to have two major family events within a week of each other and that someone would get the short end of that stick (me) and it would upset me and be a waste. So, i cancelled the party and decided to do an evening backyard luau type thing with my friends and take our parents out to a nice place for a celebratory dinner. This caused an uproar in the family because they wanted to know why i cancelled, i said because they wanted my date for her baby shower. Honestly, i didnt want to celebrate my graduation in may or june because i dont finish until aug and wont know what honors i will receive. I also didnt want to celebrate in Sept...So alas, i am not celebrating and it sucks that she jumped on that date and basically told me to move my party cause thats when she wanted the shower. Who does that? Me being the way i am, i allowed it and didnt stand up for myself. What am i supposed to do? So that upset me because i worked so hard for this and just wanted some recognition.

Needless to say i go home, have dinner, settle in with hubby and get a phone call from my mother with my aunt on 3 way. This is the aunt you dont tell anything to because she will spread it around before you can even hang up the phone. I only told a few family members that we were doing IVF. Most family knows we have been seeing a specialist for some time now. I guess i have made some comments about something coming up in April and that im having something done, but never outright said what it was. Well last night this aunt caught wind of something and wanted to know what it was. She called my mother yelling saying that we are keeping secrets from her and why doesnt my mother know more information. Well for some reason my mother has pretty much stayed out of this decision and procedure. She knows about it and what it is but thats about it. My mother called me with her on the phone and she put me on the spot basically asking what it is that im doing in April. So i came clean and told her yes it is in vitro and that we will be doing it in April. I told her i didnt tell everyone because we werent comfortable with that and thats why she didnt know. And i confirmed that my mother isnt as involved and she doesnt know the answers.

Really....who calls someone and basically yells at them for not telling them personal information. She was upset because she has asked the few people i told, and they are denying it or saying they don't know as i asked them to keep it quiet. She said, i am an aunt and i should know. So shes pissed that someone else knew something she didnt....REALLY......its my life and my uterus...how can i help you?

Im sorry this turned into a story, i really am, i just dont know where else to turn. I mean i can't make this stuff up! To sum up, im not having a graduation party and then will be sitting at a baby shower during the time of my supposed party AND we are pretty much out of the IF closet. I told her the cat is out of the bag, im doing in vitro. Sorry i couldnt get knocked up like R (the cousin) did....

Beer RANT OVER Drinks

Jessiree · March 2011

Wow - what a sucky turn of events. I'm sorry about your grad party and being shoved out of the IF closet. Hope your day turns around!

Jezebell26 · March 2011

Jessiree:
Wow - what a sucky turn of events. I'm sorry about your grad party and being shoved out of the IF closet. Hope your day turns around!

lol that made me laugh. You are right, i was pretty much shoved out of the closet lol. Thanks for reading and the kind words. Im going to make today a better day!

allie76 · March 2011

I'm so mad for you...your aunt has no right to know anything about you and YH's personal business. It sounds like your aunt is a bit of a bully since she called your mom and then your mom blindsides you with a 3 way phone call.

I'm also sorry that you felt that you needed to move the big party you planned. You deserve to be recognized for that achievement. ((big hugs)) that situation sucks.

Jezebell26 · March 2011

allie76:

I'm so mad for you...your aunt has no right to know anything about you and YH's personal business. It sounds like your aunt is a bit of a bully since she called your mom and then your mom blindsides you with a 3 way phone call.

I'm also sorry that you felt that you needed to move the big party you planned. You deserve to be recognized for that achievement. ((big hugs)) that situation sucks.

Thanks Allie, alas, this is my family lol. I also think its funny that TB blocked the middle portion of the latin term for my honors lol apparently they thought i was just being vulgar. It was one hell of a day...i should have known this would eventually happen. Surprised i made it in the closet this long!

waiting4bfp2 · March 2011

So sorry about all of this....I totally understand where you are coming from! I can't believe you were put on the spot like that! I also have family members that get upset when they do not know the 411 on everything! One time I lied and said I had to have a colonosopy because of constant diahrrea....that was my answer when someone at work asked why I was taking off so much. They have not asked again. It sucks that IF deals us an ugly hand of cards.....great job though on your grades! I will throw you a "cyber graduation party" here on the bump!! Hang in there!

Jezebell26 · March 2011

stillwaiting2:
So sorry about all of this....I totally understand where you are coming from! I can't believe you were put on the spot like that! I also have family members that get upset when they do not know the 411 on everything! One time I lied and said I had to have a colonosopy because of constant diahrrea....that was my answer when someone at work asked why I was taking off so much. They have not asked again. It sucks that IF deals us an ugly hand of cards.....great job though on your grades! I will throw you a "cyber graduation party" here on the bump!! Hang in there!

Thanks still! I appreciate the cyber party Party!!!

I should have been more creative with my answers lol

allie76 · March 2011

Jez--I did LOL when TB blocked out part of magna ___ laude.

But again I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Family can make you pull your hair out, for sure.

evanssj · March 2011

So sorry about this, we really can not pick our families can we!! Hope today is a better day for you.

magnolia_femme · March 2011

allie76:

Jez--I did LOL when TB blocked out part of magna ___ laude.

But again I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Family can make you pull your hair out, for sure.

Hehe me too!

Jez, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. You deserve to celebrate this milestone - I'm very impressed that you are finishing your masters with honors! Don't let IF or your family take this honor away from you. ((((hugs)))

tosh24 · March 2011

I am so sorry....I'm mad for you!

You've obviously worked hard and DESERVE a fantastic graduation party! I'm sorry your family ruined it for you. I hope you have a awesome party with your friends who can appreciate how much this means to you

Really? She called on 3-way? I didn't know being an aunt meant that she deserves to know what is going on with your reproductive organs.....as if! That would have me steaming (actually, it does and I'm not even you!). Nobody should force you to have to give up information you're not comfortable sharing. I'm so sorry you were backed into a corner. Family!

I hope you're having a better day today

Jewlz018 · March 2011

Wow. Where to start. First of all, here is a mimosa. You Deserve it!

Your aunt has some nerve! I'm sorry but she sounds like a bully.

You have every right to be upset over this. Anyone would be. I'm so sorry you had to go through this family drama.

Hopefully things will calm down now and you will at least get to celebrate your big accomplishment with whoever you choose to.

Jezebell26 · March 2011

I knew i could count on you ladies for support of all kinds! Thank you for your kind words. I even impressed myself with that honor. My GPA falls within the guidelines now so i just gotta keep it there and increase it a little!

BIG HUGS to all of you! Thank You!

heathercara · March 2011

First off congrats on your amazing accomplishment. You deserve to celebrate and I'm so sorry that your family doesn't recognize how huge this is!! And boo for your aunt who doesn't understand boundaries and keeping her nose out of other people's business. Here's hoping your family will jump in and be super supportive now that they know!!

blueberries8 · March 2011

(((hugs))) So sorry you are dealing with all of this family-related BS. Congratulations on your masters and doing so well, though, that's huge!

MrsVo · March 2011

Dude, your aunt needs a shift punch to the throat. That is ridiculous!!! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that

But as others have said, congrats on your MCL, that is a wonderful, wonderful achievement!!

Daisy07gray · March 2011

Wow, you weren't kidding-- long! That's so frustrating! congratulations on doing so well in school and finishing up soon. Families can be so frustrating. I like your plan of a friends gathering and dinner with your parents, although you could always invite your family to join the party you are throwing for your friends. GL & I hope your day get s better!

OodlesOfNoodles · March 2011

I'm sorry you had to deal with this on top of all you have going on right now. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I was "attacked" into giving info that was personal and private. It really is no one's business what you and your DH are doing no matter what it is. ((Hugs)) Congrats on your Masters and good luck!

flycka · March 2011

Two things.
First, I your aunts needs to know she can also either hand you a check or drive you to appointments or cook for you, etc. See where I'm going? Seriously nobody needs to know anything but your husband but since they do, hand them a copy or link to Resolve's website. They might turn into a support system.
And second, I'll throw you an e-party when you graduate Smile

I know how great achievement it is And party or not you should absolute celebrate. The backyard party sounds good and please get yourself something long lasting too (ring, maybe a trip) that you can remember. Congrats!

I am Marla Singer · March 2011

Oh man! That really sucks. I personally think that getting your Masters should be a huge celebration- lots of people have babies- but not that many people get graduate degrees!

I am sorry to hear that you are having issues with family- that is never fun.

I hear ya about wanting to keep the IVF somewhat private too- that is an extremely personal thing.

Hope you feel better soon!

c&n06 · March 2011

So Sorry T, I can not believe your Aunt did that!! So crazy. I completely understand you not wanting a lot of people knowing. I am the exact same way.

I am sorry aobut your party too, but the lauau in the backyard sounds nice and soon it will be your turn to celebrate more good news!

STL34 · March 2011

I'm so sorry, hon. That is terrible. Please tell me the aunt throwing the shower isn't the same aunt that called and yelled at you for keeping secrets (or I guess if it is the same aunt, you just have one to be upset with). ((HUGE HUGS))

You are as important as your aunts and knocked up cousin. Remember that. Just because they are the supreme beings in their own eyes, doesn't make you less important. You really should do something fun for yourself. You definitely deserve a party!

Also, I am so sorry that this is the reason you are out of the IF closet. I have outed myself to a lot of people, but it was more on my own terms than your outing. I hope your family treats you well and doesn't offer the great advice we seem to normally receive. ((HUGE HUGS))

kkdavie15 · March 2011

Oh man Jez, thats a whole lotta suck. Congrats on your MCL... that is awesome and you should be so proud of yourself! And I just hate that you had to be forced to come out the closet. I'd be so mad at my mom for helping put me on the spot. She should have called and warned you so you could at least come up with a lie if you wanted to

And just bc you are related doesn't give your aunt the right to demand any part of your life. That is just terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

erilili · March 2011

First and foremost congrats on graduation with honors. I too will be receiving my degree in May. We are both class of 2011. Yay!

I am sorry that you had to share your IF with your aunt. Hoping you feel better soon. Hopefully we can have a cyber-party/fiesta for you!

Jezebell26 · March 2011

You ladies are awesome. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and congratulations. The aunt that had me move the party is not the same aunt who called. Though they are sisters. My mom is one of 6, 4 are girls.

We will definitely have a cyber party for all the 2011 grads Yey for us!

Big Hugs to all of you and i really hope we get our BFPs soon!!!!!!!! xoxo

renee3n2008 · March 2011

First off Congratulations!

I'm sorry honey! That it's a shitty situation. Plan your party when you want it don't worry about other people.

I'm sorry your Aunt called and yelled at you. It's none of her business what?s going on with you. Ah!! if you wanted to tell her you would have. My MIL is the same way if she doesn?t know everything she gets mad at you. I would hate to be around if she ever finds out what we have been going through and not telling her.

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