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baby shower advice...etiquette...

LauraLynneCLauraLynneC member
in Washington Babies

Ok - so I have my mom throwing a family only shower at some point, I'm not worried about timing or anything on that one (my friends and family can't be in the same room - it's a long story). 

But I have a very diverse group of friends and several of them have brought up hosting a shower for me.  I'm grateful for all my friends but do NOT want more showers...how do I put them each in touch to host a collaborative shower without feeling uncomfortable about everyone's generosity??  I have several distinct groups of friends and it's going to be a little akward already because many of them don't know each other...and I suspect several of them are going to clash (I have very outspoken friends - each with a very different set of beliefs...I'm a little nervous to have everyone in the same room frankly)

So how do I approach the topic of who's hosting/throwing a shower for me without sounding, well, icky about it??  It's greedy to have more than one (friend) baby shower, right?  I can't do anything about already having 2 showers, it's REALLY not possible for my family to interact even socially with my friends. 

I feel greedy even asking the question!  I'm truly blessed to have my friends at all!

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Re: baby shower advice...etiquette...

  • Seattle_JiLLnSeattle_JiLLn
    I would say pick one of the ones who asked you first and who you think could coordinate well... tell that person you're flattered that they asked about hosting a shower, and that you'd love it.  Ask them if they would like help from your other friends.  If so, then when other people ask if they can host a shower, just say "oh Mary is throwing a shower, but I'm sure she'd love some help, so you could call her at.... "
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  • IdahoGirlIdahoGirl

    So my gut instinct is this - why not have more than one "friends" shower if folks are wanting to host one for you?

    Your'e so far removed from having your first child, you're like a new mommy all over again and I know many of us had a family shower, a friends shower, a work shower...

    Each one can be small and intimate :)

    I will say that I also have friends of a very diverse nature and find that if there are friends that can't keep their peace and play nice in the sandbox, I call them out on it.  It's just common sense and etiquette at this point in our lives.

    And because I'm bored and completely too curious for my own good, you have me wondering why it's REALLY not possible to interact socially for these groups and your family and your friends.

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  • JaimeCHJaimeCH member
    First off, you are not being greedy at all. If your friends are offering to throw you a shower, take them up on it. Just don't invite the same guests to multiple showers. I had a family shower, friend shower, and work shower. At my friend shower, I had people there who did not know one another or the hosts. I would either choose one friend to host the collaborative friend shower (as I think that it would be weird to host it with someone I didn't know), or have a couple smaller showers. I would hope that if you had a joint friends shower that your friends would be at least cordial to each other. I think that I might be looking for a new group of friends if I expected them to get into arguments at my shower!
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  • kristalovesjaredkristalovesjared member

    Depending on how many friends you have that would be coming you might be better off doing more than one shower. I wanted to just do one shower so it was friends and family and co workers and it ended up being too many people. I love opening gifts and was super grateful for everything everyone got me, but it took so long to open the gifts. I could tell people were getting bored and it made me feel like I needed to speed it up,but didn't want someone to think I didn't like the gift they gave me. Anyway, it would have been better to do separate showers.

    If you really do want just one, I say the first person who volunteered to throw it gets to be the head planner and you can have your other friends email her to ask if she needs help. You could also have it at your house so if they are planning together it's a neutral place. 

    Most importantly, HAVE FUN at your showers and spending the time with your friends! :) 

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  • LauraLynneCLauraLynneC member
    thanks everyone - I'll sound out the friends who offered and see how they feel about it...and go from there! :)
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  • ATT&BTTATT&BTT

    imageSeattle_JiLLn:
    I would say pick one of the ones who asked you first and who you think could coordinate well... tell that person you're flattered that they asked about hosting a shower, and that you'd love it.  Ask them if they would like help from your other friends.  If so, then when other people ask if they can host a shower, just say "oh Mary is throwing a shower, but I'm sure she'd love some help, so you could call her at.... "

    I did this and it worked well.  One friend handled the main party stuff, one did the cake, one shared her home, etc. GL

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