Clara Noelle's Story

When I woke up to go to work on Monday, Februay 7th, I found that my water had broken. I was pretty surprised because I had convinced myself that Clara would not arrive until at least her due date, which wasn't until the 18th. We got to the hospital around 8am. I had planned a natural childbirth, so I had a telemetry monitor put on. Both my parents and my husband's parents were in the waiting room, and we were able to hang out and talk. My doctor said I had until 12pm for contractions to start on their own, and if they didn't I would need to start Pitocin. No heavy contractions started, I continued to just have the Braxton Hicks I'd been experiencing for the previous couple of weeks. So, at noon, my nurse started Pitocin in my IV. I was still hoping for a natural birth even though I knew Pitocin induced labors could be pretty brutal, so I was still attached to a portable IV pole. I was started on the lowest dose of Pitocin that was gradually increased more and more because hard labor still did not start. I ended up maxing out on the amount they could give me without consulting my doctor, before my contractions really picked up. I tried all of the natural birth methods I'd learned--focusing on my breath, bouncing on the birth ball, having my husband and mom massage my lower back. I was hoping I could get into the bath or shower, but with the IV drip it wasn't possible. The contractions got harder and harder until there was barely a break between them. I hate to be cliche, but it really was the worst pain I had ever been in. I was really loud, and hopefully the walls were thick because otherwise I probably scared the crap out of all the other laboring women on the floor! I had my nurse check my progress before I requested an epidural. I was only dilated to a 5, so I went ahead with the epidural. I was disappointed, but I was prepared to need one since I'd had to have so much Pitocin. After I got the epidural, I progressed to 10cm quickly. My doctor wanted me to "labor down" for an hour before I started pushing. Finally, at 11:30pm, I started pushing. And pushing. And pushing. I couldn't feel much because of the epidural so I had to count on the nurses to tell me when to push. My doctor arrived around 1:30am, and I was still pushing. Around 2:30, she told me she was getting concerned because I had been pushing for 3 hours. I guess this was the catalyst because I REALLY didn't want to have to have a c section. I started making more progress then. I did have to have an episiotomy, but Clara Noelle was born at 2:59am on Tuesday February 8th. She weighed 6lbs 15oz and was 19 1/2 inches long, in great health! I could not wait to hold her, and they let me have her for a few minutes before they cleaned her up. The moment I had been waiting for my whole life was finally here! I have been told many times about the profound love you feel for your child, but I really did not understand until I held Clara for the first time. She is truly the love of my life.

Clara came home on Thursday. On Saturday, my robust eater wasn't hungry. I kept figuring she would eat when she was hungry. I expressed some milk into a bottle, which she took. I was concerned, but thought maybe we were having a breastfeeding hangup, or that she was feeling a little out of it due to her jaundice. Finally, that evening when things weren't getting better, I called her pediatrician's emergency line. They recommended I take her to the ER because dehydration was becoming a concern. In the ER, they told us Clara's symptoms were in line with a possible infection. They told me few cases end up being infections but that we needed to be on the safe side. Cultures were taken from her blood, urine and spine. When they hooked up to continuously monitor her vitals, there was cause for alarm. Her blood pressure was far too low, and her pulse was crazy, fluctuating in and out from way too low into normal range. She was taken to the pediatric ICU, where the concern continued. The one-hour cultures all came back negative, but it was clear that my baby was frighteningly ill. By the next morning, Clara was fully intubated so that she could have all of her remaining resources to fight what was being treated as a bacterial infection. I could not hold her or breastfeed her; her sustenance was coming from IV fluids. We had no idea what we were dealing with, and whether she would be okay or not. Her blood pressure and pulse continued to be wacky, and her circulation was poor. She spent a couple of days in the PICU in this condition. However, antibiotics had been started as soon as Clara was admitted, and by the 3rd day, even though all of her cultures had remained negative, those antibiotics began to kick in. Her vitals began to stabilize. I had been pumping like crazy to keep my supply up, and she was allowed breast milk through her feeding tube. By the evening of the 4th day, Clara was extubated. After a probationary period of a few hours, I was allowed to hold and breastfeed her. This was possibly an even better feeling than the first time I held her! On the 5th day, her condition was continuing to improve so we were moved out of the PICU to a regular floor. Still no further concerns were seen, but she had been put on a 14 day cycle of antibiotics. On the 4th day on the regular floor, the doctors decided that I could be trained to administer her IV antibiotics at home. We definitely felt this was the right thing for our family--having people come in to take her vitals and do tests was agitating for Clara, and I had not been home in days. So,  after a 9-day stay in the hospital, we brought Clara home again. Giving her the antibiotics was nerve-wracking, and it will take awhile (if ever) for me to calm my anxieties, but she is, to our great relief, a healthy baby girl again. I feel so horrible that she's had to endure this in such a short life, but I am so incredibly grateful to her nurses and doctors in the PICU at St. Louis Children's Hospital for knowing just what to do to make her better. I was also astounded by all the love and support we got from not only family and friends, but from friends of friends and people we don't know. She is a very loved little girl!