Opening gifts at a shower-Poll

mas813 · February 2011

Hi Ladies,

I am wondering what everyone's thoughts are on opening gifts at a baby shower. I know its tradition, but is it necessary? My mom suggested we don't do it at my shower because she thinks it might make some people who buy small (inexpensive) gifts feel uncomfortable. My mother in-law agreed and she said it happened to her once, were they opened her small gift after 2 very big ones. They also think it takes too long and teh guests may get bored.

I am expecting about 50 people at the shower. I have a clubhouse with a time limit of about 3 hours.

Would it be OK to open gifts in private and just send thank you cards??

Jim&Jaime · February 2011

If I bought you a gift and took the time to attend your shower, I want to see your reaction. Yes, I will be bored while you open the gifts that others bought you, but I will sit through it. I will be annoyed and question, especially if I am older, why you didn't open the gifts at the actual shower.

Yellow_Daisy · February 2011

I personally would think it was rude/gift grabby if the guest of honor didn't open my gift at the shower, whether it be big or small. There will always be people who get bored during gift opening, but I think a lot of people want to see you open their gift so they will sit through opening all of them for that one moment.

srs5624 · February 2011

IMO, no. It's a shower... an event focused solely on presents. People will expect to see you open their gift at the shower.

Serve dessert right as you start opening presents and just keep plowing through the pile. You'll be fine.

If it helps, at my shower my sister served cake and my mom passed around little games for people to do while i was opening presents... just in case anyone got bored. There was jar of M&Ms being passed around for people to guess how many and a word scramble.

dana1318a · February 2011

I think you definitely have to open them at the shower. It is ridiculously boring, but I think a lot of people look forward to seeing your reaction, and will feel sort of used if you couldn't even take the time to open your gift and thank them to their face (which absolutely doesn't get anyone out of sending thank yous, but it's a nice addition to be thanked to your face when you give someone a gift). Just have a friend or the host pre-open the gifts to keep things moving. Take off any ribbons that might hold you up, pull cards out of envelopes & hand them to you, etc.

ryry1977 · February 2011

Like stated above...the whole idea of the shower is the presents. I would open them.

BrendaLou1969 · February 2011

Open the gifts, I guaranty you will have quite a few people be offended if you don't.

kgunz11 · February 2011

Jim&Jaime:
If I bought you a gift and took the time to attend your shower, I want to see your reaction. Yes, I will be bored while you open the gifts that others bought you, but I will sit through it. I will be annoyed and question, especially if I am older, why you didn't open the gifts at the actual shower.

THIS exactly. Whether or not it's enjoyable for everyone there, it's part of the whole 'shower' thing. Just do it.

Disneygeek77 · February 2011

Yeah people bring gifts to the shower mostly so they can see your reaction. Honestly, I think your MIL is being a bit wierd about it too. I would never feel bad if I brought a small gift and it happened to be opened after a big one. However, if you truly do want to avoid that, maybe ask the person bringing you the presents to save the bigger ones till the end.

cozylittlecave · February 2011

Yellow_Daisy:
I personally would think it was rude/gift grabby if the guest of honor didn't open my gift at the shower, whether it be big or small. There will always be people who get bored during gift opening, but I think a lot of people want to see you open their gift so they will sit through opening all of them for that one moment.

Agreed. It's a shower- the primary purpose is to 'shower' you with gifts. If you're concerned about them being too bored, maybe serve dessert or something right before so that they can at least munch on cake or something. Really though, I'm pretty sure everyone expects to sit through the gift opening.

LadyXaverian · February 2011

Yes, it's necessary.

Mrs.B6302007 · February 2011

If people hate sitting through gift-opening, they're probably going to decline the shower since that's what showers are about. Open the gifts.

tiplovesdap · February 2011

I was having the same thought in my head because I don;t really like to be "on display" myself. But reading all the pp's and thinking aboutrelatives, they would all be so upset if you don't open the gifts at the shower. It's part of letting them share in your joy of the baby so letting them have that proud moment is probably best -- but make sure enjoy yourself too!

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

it depends on your circle. We don't.

rhubarb123 · March 2011

No it is not OK and yes it is necessary. JMO

I'd be kind of p$ssed if I spent hours picking out a gift, wrapping it and going to a shower and the mom-to-be can't take the time to open it in front of me (not to mention possibly having to rearrange my schedule and find a babysitter). If your mom and MIL would rather you didn't open your gifts why bother with the shower? Just send out a list of the things you want and ask for them to be sent to your house.

Trust me, people are well aware that you are going to open gifts. If you want it to be less "boring" for the guests play Gift Bingo during that time. I've hosted a few showers that had 50 and more guests and it didn't take that long to open gifts - maybe 45 minutes max. You just can't spend a long time trying to open the box and not tear the paper, not break the ribbon (have scissors handy), and spend a few seconds ohhing and ahhing and move on. A lot of people use gift bags to put things in so it makes it even faster.

rubber_chicken · March 2011

"Yes everyone hates watching other people open gifts and thinks showers are dull as hell but you HAVE TO DO IT OMG!!!@#*($&*(#^%(@"

hahahahahahahahaha. people are funny.

lorist202 · March 2011

Yes, I think it's necessary, and at my shower on Sunday, I had a few cheapies. Nonethelss, for every gift I opened, I quickly showcased it. I expressed how useful each item will be to me no matter how many I already just received (ex. This will be the one I travel with!), and I even acted relieved to have it. In some instances, I even added who recommended I register for the item or how I learned it was a good product. People were honestly entertained and interested. My mom even told me later that guests really felt appreciated.

Skibunny07 · March 2011

I think if you are worried about time then you should just start the present opening as soon as possible. Are you doing food for everyone? If so then as soon as you are done eating, start the gift opening. If not start the opening as soon as you have made your rounds to say hi to everyone. Try to have a game going as you open your presents like present bingo or something to keep people entertained. pass out desserts while you are opening the gifts as well. Take a quick break half way through to play another quick game like mommy trivia or something. For all of the games have little prizes for the winners. Little things like that make a big difference

I got dragged to a shower once for my SIL's SIL (ummm why was I invited? I don't know). But they waited about 45 minutes and then served lunch and then waited until every single person had finished eating before they started opening the gifts ( you know so all eyes could be on her and not on their plates). We were 4 hours into this thing and she still wasn't done so I finally left haha.

laurasuzanne2006 · March 2011

it doesn't take that long to open presents

PiRSquared330 · March 2011

One way to make it less boring is to not have it be a forced sit down thing. Announce that you will be opening gifts, but then have other things going on at the same time so people can come and go. They can stop over to watch you open theirs if they want, then head back over to hang out and chat/eat/drink for the rest of it.

PiRSquared330 · March 2011

laurasuzanne2006:
it doesn't take that long to open presents

for 50 guests? Seriously? Lets say it takes 2 minutes a gift (*by the time you read the card, un wrap it, oooo and ahhhh and put it down). Thats over an hour and half of gift opening.

JacquelineTyler · March 2011

At my bridal shower from my IL's my bridesmaids and I set up an assembly line where one would have already opened the card and set it on the gift, passed it to me while I opened it up had my MOH write on the card and attach the card to the gift, another bridesmaid took the gift away while another announced what it was and from who.

Mind you I had 75ple at this shower, but that could be a plan you could have family help you do this.

melgrady · March 2011

Everyone in my circle expects that the gifts will be opened at the shower, so that is what I will do. I have never felt uncomfortable giving an smaller gift than others at a shower and I don't know anyone else who feels that way either. I know that my shower hostesses will hand the presents to me and make sure that things proceed at a good pace so people don't get bored.

abell77 · March 2011

I think you should open them. People want to ooh and aah over baby gifts. I always bring a thoughtful gift that I can afford and I feel good about that. If someone else feels bad because their gift was less expensive than someone else's, that is about their own insecurity, not about etiquette or what is appropriate at a shower.

mas813 · March 2011

Thanks for your opinion ladies.... Smile

groovygrl · March 2011

totally have to have an assembly line- someone who pulls the card out & cuts ribbons, pulls tape for you and someone you hand it off to for it to be put back in teh box w/ the card inside & piled up somewhere nearby.

but yeah, you have to open them like everyone said. if it is in a setting where everyone can sit around & talk to each other & are eating or whatever while you do it, that is ideal. maybe you could even do it in stages if you're doing a more formal sit down meal, like in between when they're serving different things...

RedmondMama · March 2011

Not opening the gifts at the shower is totally rude to those who put the time into picking a special gift for you.

50 people at your shower? Yeesh. Sounds like a ton of people for a baby shower!

neoangel06 · March 2011

If somebody gives you a present they are expecting you to open it so they can see your reaction. It would be very rude of you not to open it!

Plus with 50 people at a shower....I doubt it will be that boring! Lots of gossip!

shellindcwife · March 2011

Play Gift Opening Bingo and offer good prizes (we did Starbucks gift cards)...that'll liven it up. We did that at a shower with 25 people (family, friends, co-workers) and it was really fun. People were uber-competitive, really got into it, were asking for judgments on what items were called (I hosted the shower and got to play judge), somebody kept asking, "Where's the damn bathtub?"--it was a blast. You can buy a set or print them from the internet. You can also have multiple winners (that's what we did to keep the game going).

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