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Stay at Home Moms
s/o can someone please explain to me how daycare is not
raising kids?? if your dc is in daycare they are being raised by daycare for X hours while they are in there right??? no one said anything about a working mom doesnt raise their dc too...
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Re: s/o can someone please explain to me how daycare is not
Daycare watches DS, teaches him things, and loves him while he is there. They are certainly not raising him. They do not act in loco parentis.
Do you think your Kindergarten, etc. will be "raising" your child?
Parents raise their kids wether they work or not, but if a child goes to daycare, then they do a good portion of raising the child too. All day they are in charge of discipline, manners, naps, lunches, snacks, potty training, story times, arts and crafts, all the play time, drying the tears, hugs, and loads more, etc. I think that there is a fine line when saying DC raises your kids b/c it kind of implies that the parents do not... and that's not true. I'm just guessing here though.
The crux of the entire argument is that, by using the term "raising" you're implying that childcare providers are on equal footing as the parents, which is offensive. Choosing a daycare is, in and of itself, part of the "raising" of a child. Parents choose one that is in line with their parenting philosophy.
This whole argument is one that is often used to undermine the role of a working mother. It's offensive and people know that, yet still continue to use the term.
I have yet to hear anyone say that schools raise their children.
I do think that DC helps to raise children. When they are in DC the teachers are the ones teaching them right from wrong, feeding, comforting, etc. Of course when a child is with their parents, then the parent is doing those things. But the DC is imparting morals and values on the child.
Maybe Kindergarten isn't viewed as the same b/c the child usually already has morals, values, etc in place. The school only reinforces what the child has learned at home or in DC.
I taught second grade for ten years and fourth grade for one. I would like to think I was helping raise the kiddos I had in my classes. I've been a SAHW now, a SATM, for three years now and I still think about those kids and how they are doing to this day.
I taught in a school where parents were very involved and know for a fact that they felt I had a fairly big role in helping them with some aspects of raising their children-just my experience.
I bet many fathers would love to know that they're not raising their own children.
Yeah, if he doesn't see his kids during the week, he's raising the kids less than the mom.
School = 7 hours per day. Daycare can equal 10-12 hours per day. If your kids are in daycare 10 hours a day (assuming parents work 8hr day, 1hr lunch and 30min commute each way is pretty common) and are asleep at least 8 hours at night, you're only with your kid for one-fourth of their waking time. If you have a longer commute and a kid that sleeps longer, it could be as little as 4 hours a day. Your kid is not being completely "raised" in 4 hours a day, the daycare is raising your kid too.
I'm not saying your kid is going to grow up to be an axe-murderer because of it, and I realize that many people have no choice but to send their kids to daycare. But at least recognize the major contribution that daycare is doing in the raising of your children.
And honestly, if you're offended by this, why come to the SAHM board?
childcare teachers (or school teachers for that matter) are professionals. They may not have the highest training we would wish or be as highly paid as they should be or get the respect they should but they are doing a job which is in their professional capacity. They might totally disapprove of how I raise my child but their job is not to gainsay that, or undermine it but to support it.
Eg - there's various evidence out there about how best to deal with bilingualism. But if a parent wants to do it the way the teacher knows will complicate learning for the child she doesn't have a choice, she can't just decide "oh we're going to discourage the other language or require the languages are only spoken in certain situs" (unless that's requested by the parent. They have no decision making directional power. Only implementation power.
?Its really quite simple. Yes the way they implement can have huge implications for the child and if they do it badly it CAN adversely impact on upbringing. But that is not the same as being part of upbringing.?
A child is also not raised for only the first 5 years of their life, which people often like to forget. As a parent, I will have much more influence over her life than the 4 days a week she spends with her provider.
No one has ever said, that I've seen, that there is not a major contribution to the child's life. What HAS been said, over and over and over, is that usage of the term "raising" is what is offensive, as it puts the providers' contribution on par with that of the parents. If you can't see why it would be offensive to a parent who doesn't want to work in the first place, to tell them that someone else is raising their child, then I guess I can't explain it further.
Because I wanted to post the other side of the story. This isn't the only place it's said - as a matter of fact one of the posters from this board paraded over to parenting to make this same post.
As a parent, you have a huge influence over her life. I would never dispute that. I guess I believe in the "it takes a village to raise a child" philosophy. I do not see it as offensive to say that someone else doing part of the raising. I believe that many people will have a part in raising my child, from providers to school teachers, to her sunday school teacher, to her grandparents... etc.
If someone is spending as much time, or more, with the child than the parent is, then yeah, I think their contribution is pretty darn high.
For the record, my child does go to dayschool 15 hours a week. And it's ok if you say they are raising my child for those hours.
"Raised" is such a charged word... but what does it really refer to? I would think raising a child usually refers to providing, caring for, and teaching him/her. If your child spends the majority of their waking hours out of your care and teaching, you've handed over 2/3 of their raising- hopefully, to somebody who also cares about them and who agrees with you on how you want them raised.
I think sending kids to school is also handing over 2/3 of their raising to the school. As a homeschool graduate, I appreciated the efforts of my parents to raise me and plan to homeschool my own children.
Yes, there are great teachers and daycare providers out there, thankfully, for those who have to use them. But I think to be honest that you have to admit that yes, they are definitely at least "helping" to raise that child.