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Preemies
devinjonesrn
member
Not a fan of today's RN
devinjonesrn
member
in Preemies
Being a nurse I guess I never realized just how much my care could affect a patient's family members.
Todays nurse was "old school." When I asked what time in her schedule would be good for me to kangaroo the babies she said, "oh I won't ALLOW it with her (DD) because of her UVC, it's a nurse's preference" (we've been holding her since day 3) Okay, I thought to myself, I guess that's alright, one day won't kill me or her. The more I thought about it, I think she could have been a little more kind in her wording of things. I spent the rest of the day feeling like I wasn't "allowed" to do things. I had to stop her before she yanked of DD's diaper, I'm like, "Oh, I'd really love to change their diapers and take their temperatures...they're some of the few things I can do for them."
I came back from lunch and they were both very restless on their backs, both had dried spit up on themselves, so not like it had just happened and she hadn't noticed. Being an ICU (adult) nurse myself I try to be generous and appreciate that the nurses are busy, but I certainly felt like I wasn't "allowed" to stick my hands in their isolettes without permission and clean them up myself...which brings me to a question:
I'm afraid of overstimulating them between "hands on care times" so would cleaning up dried spit up be something worth disturbing them for or would you just wait until the next feeding/care time? It killed me to sit there and watch them fidget, knowing they'd both sleep better on their tummies, but of course, didn't want to say anything to their nurse!
I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling like I needed to sit there and watch them to make sure she was taking good care of them! The past week I've loved the nurses and felt perfectly comfortable leaving them in their care. On one hand I felt like I needed to just leave cause it was tearing me up watching them look dirty and uncomfortable, but then again, these are MY BABIES! If I don't say something who will?
Anyone ever ask to not have a specific nurse back? Being one myself I know that the nurse almost always finds out that the family asked not to have them back and I'm afraid of being labled as one of "those families" and having to see her around the unit knowing we didn't care for her services. On the other hand why should I care? The most important thing is that my babies are in good hands and secondly that I can TRUST that they're in good hands.
I also just had this gut feeling that something wasn't right with Wyatt. He just looked like his breathing was a little labored, or his tummy looked full or something. I told the nurse these things and she re-assured me that his abd girth was not measuring differently and that his sats and color etc looked fine. Maybe it was mother's intuition, maybe it was just anxiety about the fact that I felt like I needed to nurse him because I didn't trust that she was going to?
ARGH!! Thanks for reading this far if you've made it. I think I need a real live support group! 
) On my way back up for night shift assessment and feeding (okay, I'm really just going to scope out the nurse)
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Re: Not a fan of today's RN
The overstimulating thing is sort of a tough call. It depends on the baby and the day, hell sometimes the hour, even. If you could clean it up w/o wrestling them around much, I'd probably have done it. If not, I'd have left it.
The being on the back thing might be legit. Robbie would have been happy to be on his belly 24/7, but they really do need to rotate positions for their own health.
I HATED watching how uncomfortable he was on his back, but usually the good nurses would work to get him really bundled up well so he was at least a little more comfortable.
As for asking for a nurse not to come back- I did it once. We were there 14w and there was a nurse towards the end that I'd had it with. She was lazy and rude anyway, but the day that pushed me over the edge she'd ignored my repeated requests to replace one of the stickers holding his canula on. When the night nurse came on, I asked her to do it and of course, she did it almost immediately. Turned out he has a NASTY infection under it (I knew it was sliding around and not right, and read underneath, that's why I asked her to change it, but I had no idea how bad it was.) and it just really upset me that he'd gone another 10 hours with this thing probably burning the crap out of his skin because she was too lazy to get a freaking sticker out of a drawer.
The same day, she'd done something annoying to our roommate as well and we both asked the charge nurse not to assign her to us again. We'd had it.
There was another time that I went over a nurse's head when I felt like something was wrong but kept getting dismissed. He'd been reintubated that day and honestly hadn't settled down for hours. His HR was up but not over 200bpm so she kept insisting he was fine. But I felt like I couldn't leave because I knew he wasn't okay. Finally I just asked for the NP. I didn't complain about the nurse at all, just said that I was certain something was wrong.
She went over his chart, talked to me, and finally agreed that he did seem more aggitated than normal, that he might be in pain because he'd really tanked before the intubation (She called it "air starved") and eventually gave him some fentanyl. He immediately calmed down and slept for the first time in about 6 hours.
After that, the nurse did not ignore my concerns anymore, so I never needed to make a complaint. I definitely got some "looks" that day when I asked for the NP. All the nurses in the area got sort of wide-eyed like "oh crap, a parent's mad." but like I said, I didn't complain at all. I didn't even mention my nurse. I just wanted my baby helped, period. That was very early in our stay and I didn't want to rock the boat, but I couldn't leave there feeling like I couldn't trust his nurse.
My best advice is really to just trust your instincts. You know more than you think you do.
Also.. if you want a "support group" of sorts, you're welcome to join the private preemie board, which is in my signature. A lot of us are over there and would be glad to support you in any way we could.
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So sorry about your nurse today. If its any consolation I was not a huge fan of DS night nurse. She was acting like nothing I did was right and wouldn't let me hold him either. She was doing a good job caring for my son though.
And I have also already requested on nurse and the nurse she was training to no longer be with DD. I don't know how I would have handled that situation if I was a nurse myself but I did not like her nursing skills and DD always seemed agitated with her as her nurse.
Just remember you are their voice and you should never ignore mothers intuition.
Ask to not have that nurse anymore. You are your children's advocate and someone has to speak up, if you don't feel comfortable and feel like you can't care for your children because of her attitude then speak up. I really wish we had. In DS's 26 day stay, we had maybe 2 nurses that I wanted to seriously harm and I kick myself to this day that I did not say anything about not wanting them again. To me, it seemed like these nurses were there for a paycheck and did not enjoy their job, not someone I wanted to entrust my kid's life with.
I'm sorry you had a bad expiernce with the nurse. I think you have every right to ask for another nurse. We've been very lucky, all the nurses have been great and very attentive to the boys.
If we were to get a nurse that I wasn't comfortable with, I would definitely speak up. As much as I wouldn't want hurt anyone's feelings, when it comes down to it, my boys are all that matter. Anytime something looks off to me, I always ask them about it. I'm sure they think of me as"that" parent, but I really don't care.
I hope you have a better experience today!!!
I am sorry you had a rough day. As far as care goes, It does depend on the baby and day. If they were stable I would have cleaned them up.
As far as nurses go, you defintely learn who your favorites are. We were in the NICU for 111 so I felt like we knew everyone fairly well. Once Finn was more of a feeder/grower we had a lot of assignments with nurses pulled from well baby or peds to cover the NICU since they were busy. It is hard when your favorite nurses...the ones who are so good are now pulled to work with the sickest babies, but good that your child is no longer the sickest. Anyway, I had some issues with the pulled nurses. They just were not as invested or educated in the way of the NICU. I had one ask me if Finn still had his umbilical stump. Ummm he was 3 mo old and had lines at birth. After a few well placed snide comments to some of the well seasoned nurses I found out that we had an order to only have NICU nurses assigned to us. I felt a tinge of guilt for a nanosecond and then realized this was not the first time I was going to have to stand up for my kid.
I will also say that there were a few NICU nurses who I did not care for the first few times they cared for FInn, but once I got to know them and their style, I realized they were fine but just did not give a good first impression.
Hang in there. Soon it will all be a distant memory. ITs hard to believe but it seems a lifetime ago and we left in Nov.
If you are not comfortable with her, I would 100% change. I had a nurse discharged from our case an hour into her shift on Tuesday. We just had MAJOR personality conflicts - I've NEVER had any problems with his nurses before & have nurses specifically request to have us since we are the supposed "fun couple" So not getting along with one of them was heartbreaking, but we just did not.
The nurse that took over his care that day turned out to be the most amazing woman & I LOVE her to death.
It's HARD ENOUGH In the NICU let alone having to be there with someone that you don't get along with for 12 hours. Speak Up & Don't feel guilty about it
There have been a few nurses I thought I didn't like the first time we had them, but now LOVE. I decided to give each nurse two shots and there has only been one that I requested not to have again. I just told them I didn't feel as though her communication style matched our needs.
Nurses can really break your day, I am grateful we have such an amazing team. I am able to have some hindsight now and realize that my first experience with a nurse I thought I'd hate was being filtered through my nerves/fear/etc. and now she is my absolute favorite. But I wouldn't hesitate to say something if you felt like their care was compromised.
As tough as it is, I would wait to clean up the spit up at touch time so you can cluster care.
Also, I know that it bothered me when one nurse would let me touch more and another wouldn't. So as soon as I met a new nurse for the day I say "I've typically been doing this this and this each day and I'd like to do those things today as well if you're okay with that, please let me know if there is any reason I shouldn't." And that has seemed to work out well for me. I used to sit and chew my nails when nurses wouldn't offer to let me do things I'd been doing so now I just tell them and hardly anyone tells me no unless something is different - like when they put the suction in they said "holding is fine but don't rock today" etc.
This exactly.
I've been on both sides of the fence. I am a NICU RN....and I am also a mommy of 2 Nicu graduates. My girls were in the Nicu for 5 long weeks. I agree w/having a primary RN and she can really be a good person to talk to.
You are the mom, and you have every right to make sure they are comfortable and resting cozy. I would just wash my hands and repostion the girls if they needed it. If a nurse ever dare say anything to me about not touching them until "hands on" care, I would explain.... 'she was crying/spit up/had a poop/pulling on her IV, etc'. the girls did need their rest, and I always made sure their isolettes were dim/covered and that they rested as much as possible, ...but if you were at home, you would turn/diaper change/etc. your little one to make them comfortable. The NICU is tough, but this is your baby and it is your home, away from home, until your baby is ready for discharge.
GL to you. sorry you had that nurse....