Has anyone been through this? (long)

Madringal · March 2011

Please bear with me -

My daughter is about to turn 3 this month. She is such a good girl. I can literally count on one hand the number of times she has had to be disiplined. She listens so well. Has never thrown a fit (like fall to the ground kind). She has been a champion sleeper since she was 12 weeks old. She has been in a big girl bed since she was 18 months, and it has never been a problem. We put on pjs, brush teeth, read books, say prayers, and tuck her in bed every night like clockwork. Same routine, everyday. Rarely she will come into our room in the middle of the night and want to get in bed with us, and we almost always take her back to her room. She never fights us. Occasionally if she is sick or when she was teething we would let her get in our bed. She was at least 2 the first time she ever co slept with us.

Here is my problem -

She is terrified of thunderstorms and gets really freaked out about thunder. She will come running from any room of the house when she hears it. Probably totally normal for a 3 year old. Sunday night there was a thundestorm at bedtime, so we let her sleep with us. Then Monday night came and all of a sudden she is terrified to be alone. Will NOT get in her bed. She was hysterical. I have never seen anything like this. Screaming, kicking, clawing at us when we tried to put her in bed. We tried everything we could think of. It really freaked me out. Eventually we let her fall asleep on the couch and took her into our bed when we went to bed.

Since then, she will not be alone. I mean, I have to take her to the bathroom with me. She won't stay in the living room if I am running upstaris to get something. She will stay right by my side all day. She is scared and crying if I even walk out of the room. She will still not sleep in her bed.

She went to daycare and my MIL's with no issues. So it isn't that she wants me or DH, she just won't be alone.

Because she has never thrown tantrums like this, DH and I have no idea where to even begin. We are afraid that by letting her sleep in our bed, we aren't really dealing with whatever the issue is. But I don't know what else to do. I mean she will in no way, shape, or form, stay in her bed or be alone.

What could have scared her so bad? Is this just a phase? Any suggestions?

msjcordova · March 2011

I dont have any children yet but have worked with children your daughters ago for 9 years.

Thunder storms scare me! Is it possible that she is worried when it might happen next? Does she know that they usually happen when it rains? I wonder if you explained it to her in a simple way that it might help to ease her fears a bit. Have you asked her what it is that scares her so much? the noise? the light? something else?

I hope it resolves quickly!

cmh06 · March 2011

We are going through something a bit similar. DD had a nightmare about spiders 2 nights ago. She totally freaked out and wouldn't get back in her bed. I had to show her multiple times that there weren't any spiders in her bed. Change her bed sheets and put new ones on. She ended up sleeping with us (which she never ever does) because she woudn't get back in her bed. All day yesterday she kept talking about the spiders. I just kept telling her that the spiders were sleeping outside on their web. At bedtime last night we had to lift the sheets and everything up again to check for spiders before she'd even attempt to get into bed. She did end up sleeping in her bed, but 1st thing this morning when she was awake she was checking to make sure there were no spiders. This came totally out of the blue and we're trying to figure out where she even saw anything recently on spiders and we can't think of anything.

ceecee31 · March 2011

I like msjcordova's idea. Explaining to her what the thunder means (rain is coming) will probably help ALOT. All she knows is that it's loud, startling and unexpected. And I think that's where her reasoning comes from for not wanting to be alone: "I don't know when it's gonna happen again so when it does, I need someone to be nearby because I'm gonna be scared." DD went through something similar with our house alarm. A few times since we've had it installed, I've accidentally set it off; one time, after we'd done our nighttime routine and she was off to sleep. Eek! Needless to say, it was a looonnnngggg night but after lots of conversations about the alarm, letting her see me turn it on and off and promises that if it does go off that I will come straight to her, she turned a corner within a few days. Even now she'll ask if the alarm is gonna go off and I tell her that she shouldn't worry about the alarm and to remember my promise: I'm always gonna come straight to you if the alarm makes noise. I think that promise has given her more comfort than anything but the combination of everything worked perfectly. Hope this helps!

jlw2505 · March 2011

I thyink its a phase, at least I know that both of my kids went through things like this although not from a storm. I would put an end ot her sleeping in your room 1st off. Try staying in her room with her until she falls asleep and then leave and then gradually, each night, move closer to the door while she is falling alseep and then by spending less time in the room. You can also try leaving her door open so she knows you can hear her if needed. Make sure she has a lovie in her bed, a nightlight and maybe even some calm music if that will help her. Talk to her about her fears as well, at 3 they are old enough typically to have a conversation about what has them scared. My older DD has gone through a number of fear phases and we use her huge shark stuffed animal to hunt down the fears and that typically helps her.

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Has anyone been through this? (long)

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