Having a "good" baby

MrsTechie · March 2011

So I'm reading some dramaz on another board and ran across a reference made by people with two children. Referring to one child as a "good" baby and another as a "bad" baby.

It got me thinking, do you think of your baby as a good/bad baby? Of if you have more than one child do you think of your new baby like that?

I considered it in regards to baby Techie. My kid is super clingy. For the first 2.5 months, he could not be alone- at all. Ever. He was held 24 hours a day. He's still really needy but I'm okay with that. I don't think of him as a "bad" baby. He's just himself- an emotional, needy bundle of baby bliss. He's all mine and while some days it's frustrating to not be able to do anything (including get a drink and go pee) I try to cherish each moment I have with him snuggled against me. I can't imgaine referring to him as a "bad" baby.

BabyS2008 · March 2011

I can't imagine calling any child 'bad' let alone my own children. I HATE when people refer to children as 'bad'. My FIL often times tells DS that he's acting 'bad' when he throws a temper tantrum and I want to punch him in the face. I've gotten lucky that both of my babies were 'good' babies (for lack of a better term), however, if I had a more difficult child I cannot imagine that I'd ever refer to them as 'bad'.

rainydayluck · March 2011

My baby is "easy". I get irritated when people ask if she is a "good" baby. What if she was high needs? Would I say, actually, no, she is a "bad" baby? Absolutely not. I don't think there are good babies or bad babies. It seems silly.

awagner1222 · March 2011

i can't imagine this either..........my LO is also clingy because we held him all the time as well...but i wouldn't change it....we're all they have...they need their moms/dads,etc. to hold them & cuddle them so they understand they are protected and feel safe/loved....i'm not a believer in holding your baby will spoil them....like you said...i cherish everytime i get the chance to cuddle & watch tv because I know one day he'll be like....."mommmm seriously i'm 18 & don't want to cuddle"...haha...only kidding.......

utlawgirl · March 2011

I don't think there are "good" and "bad" babies -- just some are easier than others. I can't imagine ever thinking of my baby as a "bad baby" if she were high-needs or fussy. We're lucky that she isn't (mostly), but I mainly think of her as easy(-ish), rather than "good," since "good" implies that "bad" is an option...

babyonthebrain2010 · March 2011

I frequently refer to E as a good baby because he's basically the perfect baby IMO

...I sometimes feel weird calling him "good" but he really is very well behaved haha.. anyway if he was a constant crier or something I don't think I would ever actually call him bad. and if I had more than one kid I don't think I'd ever think of, let alone refer to, one as the "good" child and the other as the "bad" child. my parents always talked about how I screamed nonstop until I was 2 years old and my brother was the easiest baby ever but I've never ever heard them use the words good or bad.

1happygirl782 · March 2011

I think of Makenzie as Makenzie. She has various personality traits that make her, her. She is clingy and likes to be cuddled. She bores easily and will become upset if an activity goes on too long. She is extremely alert so she likes to be up on our shoulder so she is able to see what is going on. Makenzie is neither "good" or "bad". I would call her high-maintenance but that is just her and I love everything about her and wouldn't change a thing. Even all of my sleepless nights.

timark99 · March 2011

1happygirl782:
I think of Makenzie as Makenzie. She has various personality traits that make her, her. She is clingy and likes to be cuddled. She bores easily and will become upset if an activity goes on too long. She is extremely alert so she likes to be up on our shoulder so she is able to see what is going on. Makenzie is neither "good" or "bad". I would call her high-maintenance but that is just her and I love everything about her and wouldn't change a thing. Even all of my sleepless nights.

I agree with this! We don't refer to Aiden as good or bad either. He can be high maintenance at times but like many pp we want our cuddles and snuggles while we can because they grow up too fast!

1happygirl782 · March 2011

timark:
1happygirl782:

I think of Makenzie as Makenzie. She has various personality traits that make her, her. She is clingy and likes to be cuddled. She bores easily and will become upset if an activity goes on too long. She is extremely alert so she likes to be up on our shoulder so she is able to see what is going on. Makenzie is neither "good" or "bad". I would call her high-maintenance but that is just her and I love everything about her and wouldn't change a thing. Even all of my sleepless nights.

I agree with this! We don't refer to Aiden as good or bad either. He can be high maintenance at times but like many pp we want our cuddles and snuggles while we can because they grow up too fast!

This is what I tell DH. I remind him that soon enough she is not going to want to have anything to do with cuddles and we need to enjoy them while she is too young to fight it. Besides I firmly believe that being a responsive and affectionate parent now will create a more secure child later.

dehsignz · March 2011

Yup. It is not "good" vs "bad" it is "easy" vs "difficult". All babies are good, wonderful, perfect and amazing. Some days are easy and some days are more difficult but it is all perfect. They are babies there is nothing wrong or "bad" about them ; )

Shoot now I want to wake my baby and cuddle, I miss her ; )

Smores730 · March 2011

I prefer the word difficult or hard rather then bad but my DD was definitely of that variety! She's even harder as a 2 year old! My son has been much easier.

JosiePosy · March 2011

I don't go with "good/bad" so much as "happy/not happy." It's fun because often times they switch! Wink

Fairy kisses · March 2011

utlawgirl:
I don't think there are "good" and "bad" babies -- just some are easier than others. I can't imagine ever thinking of my baby as a "bad baby" if she were high-needs or fussy. We're lucky that she isn't (mostly), but I mainly think of her as easy(-ish), rather than "good," since "good" implies that "bad" is an option...

I agree with this, I have heard of people referring to other babies as bad babies and I never understood how you can have a bad baby.

cupcakes710 · March 2011

People always ask me if she's a 'good' baby and it irks me every time. Of course I say yes... how could I not?!

JulietL129 · March 2011

I never got the good baby bad baby thing. My il's have told me (again and again) how much more difficult L was than people in their family, especially for the first 10 weeks or so.... But I don't think he's "bad". I didn't even consider him super difficult, just more demanding than some. But "bad" indicates malice, to me. Every time my husband comes home from work and says, "was he good today?" I say,"he's good every day, he's a baby."

IncogNeato · March 2011

Yeah, I hate when people ask if L is a good baby. What they mean is, "how does she sleep and is she fussy?" until this week she slept horribly and fussed from 4 pm til bedtime. So... According to their definition, no! I want to say, "yup, she's really good at being a baby! She can cry, poop, fuss, and stay up all night. So yeah, she's fantastic." because, really, there's no right answer to that question!

Moonbeam828 · March 2011

We have "good (easy) days" and "bad (difficult) days", but no matter what I always have a good baby. Overall, William is a pretty low key baby, but even if he had colic he wouldn't be a bad baby--no matter how they behave, babies can't help it! I know when people ask if he's a "good baby", they mean "easy" so I try not to get annoyed, I just answer them according to my definition of the words.

CFH79 · March 2011

I use fussy/calm. I also hate good/bad designations. But I'll tell you my child is quite fussy while my sisters baby is closer to that "angel baby" definition by the baby whisperer.

lrn327 · March 2011

laurasusan:
I agree with some of the PPs. I do refer to my baby as "good" because she's easy- and mostly because she's an excellent sleeper- but I never refer to my friends' colicky and/or high maintenance babies as "bad". I see how calling your baby "good" might imply that some babies are "bad", but that's certainly not what I mean. "Easy" is probably the more appropriate term.

Yep, this for us too. I often refer to my LO as a "great baby" though because he's just so sweet and smile-ly. He is fairly easy but I'm certain I'd tell him he was a great baby even if he was high needs just because he is mine and I love him so much and perfect the way he was made.

bosha711 · March 2011

psh...my baby is the best baby in the the whole world! lol

we were just at a party at a friend's house last night where they have a 3 yr old boy & a 1 yr old girl. the boy they sent to grandma's for a sleepover while they kept the girl at home for the party. they kept going on about how the boy was so bad & the girl is so good. it was a little disturbing.

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