Success after IF

I am having a bad day

a while back, I had a surprise BFP that wasn't real, It isnt certain if it was chemical, or a bad pee stick, but regardless, it wasnt real. Even though I knew it wasnt real when i saw the second line, it still crushed me.

To make a long story short, in a weak moment, I told my SIL about it. She seemed empathetic, etc, telling me about a similar story (NOT EVEN CLOSE) Where she accidentally took an OPK and thought she was pregnant, and how disappointed she was, but how glad she was to know she was fertile (WTF?)

A few days ago, she announced her pregnancy. She is around 12 weeks, apparently. 

She knew she was pregnant when I told her, and when she told me her OPK story. If she had just told me then, in private, it would have been so much better for me, instead of the public announcement she shared.

I am so hurt. I know she can't understand, really, but I cant help but just feel crushed. I might never have have another, and at my age, with my need for IVF, the odds are  against me. She didnt see that maybe telling me privately would be a good idea? 

I will DD this, once again, as my MIL and SIL tend to read the bump, I dont know how often, but I know they do 

 

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Re: I am having a bad day

  • I'm sorry, I would be hurt too. Hoping very much that you WILL have another.

    P.S. - weird that your MIL and SIL read the Bump! I always worry people I know could be lurking but generally assume I'm being irrational. How tough for you to not be able to post openly!

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  • That just sucks.

     (((Hugs))))

     

  • imageschmoodle:

    I'm sorry, I would be hurt too. Hoping very much that you WILL have another.

    P.S. - weird that your MIL and SIL read the Bump! I always worry people I know could be lurking but generally assume I'm being irrational. How tough for you to not be able to post openly!

    Ditto all of this!!!! Your SIL definitely doesn't understand. I'm sorry. 

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  • I'm so sorry she hurt you.  She should have just told you in private.

    Big hugs. 

    Momma to 2 sweet girls here on earth and a precious baby boy in heaven
  • I always think of who I was telling when making the announcement , and I am IF... that stinks that your SIL was so insensitive. I can imagine you feel hurt and betrayed a bit.

    I am sorry Skoorb.  I so want for you to have another too.

  • I'm so sorry lady...I have been thinking about you...all i can offer is hugs, love and an ear if you even need
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  • I'm sorry Robin, I really hope that you can do IVF soon. 

    Your SIL doesn't seem to respect the fact that things don't come as easy for some people.  Talk to her about it or it's probably going to get worse during this pregnancy.

    ((HUGS)) I hope things start looking up for you soon.

    Ella- 8/22/08, Jules and Tuck- 12/15/10
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  • thanks guys. There is just so much going on in our lives right now, that I really cant take one more thing. I have known for a few days she was pregnant (posted and DD'd the night she told us) but tonight, I just cant stop crying. I feel like such an a.ss
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  • imageskoorbnibor:
    thanks guys. There is just so much going on in our lives right now, that I really cant take one more thing. I have known for a few days she was pregnant (posted and DD'd the night she told us) but tonight, I just cant stop crying. I feel like such an a.ss

    NOOOOO don't cry!!! HUGS!

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    Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • Oh Robin- I know you mentioned this the other day, but I am so sorry.  I know that the only ones who could possibly know what this feels like is someone else who is in your shoes...the infertile's shoes.  It's rough.  I'm sure privately would have been better, but the sting is there regardless.  Big hugs to you!
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  • (((hugs))) I'm so sorry. But you are not an a.ss! You're just a human with feelings who is dealing with crappy crappy IF, and your reaction is totally normal. 
  • ((hugs)) I think that would have hurt my feelings as well.  I'm sorry.... people just don't understand sometimes how insensitive their actions are. 
  • I am sorry. That is very insensitive of her. Hugs.
    TTC since 8/07 DX - Severe MFI/azoospermia & MTHFR/ TESEs found sperm - 7/08 & 6/09/ 12/08 - IVF#1 - BFN/ 6/09 - IVF #2 - cancelled due to OHSS risk (had retrieval)/ 7/09 - FET #1 - BFN/ 9/09 - FET #2 - BFN/ 11/09 - IVF #3 with new RE cancelled twice - 10/09 & 11/09/ 1/10 - IVF #3 take 3 - BFN/ 4/10 - IVF #4 - first ever BFP on 5/13/10!!! 108 @ 10dp3dt/ 2nd beta 311!/ sono on 5/28/10 said TWINS!!!! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry you're having a rough time Robin! Some people just lack the sensitivity gene and they will never "get it". It sucks when one of those people is in your circle of family or friends. I'm probably way behind, but what is going on with your plans for #2 (if you want to share)? I remember you being excited about insurance coverage for another IVF cycle, but that seems like forever ago. Feel free to ignore my questions if you don't feel like going into it, but I think about you and wonder how you are doing often. (((HUGS))) 

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  • imagekristinamh6:

    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time Robin! Some people just lack the sensitivity gene and they will never "get it". It sucks when one of those people is in your circle of family or friends. I'm probably way behind, but what is going on with your plans for #2 (if you want to share)? I remember you being excited about insurance coverage for another IVF cycle, but that seems like forever ago. Feel free to ignore my questions if you don't feel like going into it, but I think about you and wonder how you are doing often. (((HUGS))) 

    thanks, honey! I cant believe you are 33 weeks!!

    My diabetes has me on hold. I am a medical oddity, apparently, and we cant get it under control. Long long story, but we are closer. Unfortunately, insurance changed and we are no longer covered. sigh 

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  • imageskoorbnibor:
    imagekristinamh6:

    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time Robin! Some people just lack the sensitivity gene and they will never "get it". It sucks when one of those people is in your circle of family or friends. I'm probably way behind, but what is going on with your plans for #2 (if you want to share)? I remember you being excited about insurance coverage for another IVF cycle, but that seems like forever ago. Feel free to ignore my questions if you don't feel like going into it, but I think about you and wonder how you are doing often. (((HUGS))) 

    thanks, honey! I cant believe you are 33 weeks!!

    My diabetes has me on hold. I am a medical oddity, apparently, and we cant get it under control. Long long story, but we are closer. Unfortunately, insurance changed and we are no longer covered. sigh 

    Oh, I'm so sorry. That really sucks! Hopefully they can get it under control quickly and the financial/insurance thing works out too. I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Don't lose hope!

    I can't believe I'm 33 weeks either. It is going by insanely fast. 

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  • ((hugs))  I'm sorry.  No one else really undertands, do they?
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  • I am sorry, that wasn't nice of her, and she hurt your feelings. Some people just don't get it.



    Dx: PCOS, Anovulation, RPL
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    TTC# 2 since February 2010 - BFP #1 Sept 2010-(5mg Femara, 1500mg Met, Ovridel) Missed M/C at 10w2d, discovered at 13w2d, D&C at 14w

    BFP # 2 - February 2011-(1500mg Met, HCG Injection) Missed M/C at 10w1d, discovered at 10w3d, D&C at 11w...RPL testing came back all normal.

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  • I'm sorry. I really hoped this kind of pain would decrease after having a baby but it is still so real.  It sucks.  I hope you get a "real" bfp soon!!  Hang in there!!
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  • I'm sorry your SIL was so insensitive and that you're having a rough time right now .  ((Hugs))
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