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Preemies
Feeling down about not reaching developmental milestones...
My twins were 34 weekers. They rolled from their stomach to back really early (3 month adjusted age/ 4.5 months actual age). Since then, they have gotten close to rolling over from back to stomach, but they are not there yet. They are almost 7 months old actual age/5.5 months old adjusted age. I know that according to their adjusted age, they are not late yet, but I am just sad that they are almost 7 months and not doing yet. I know this is going to continue with crawling, walking, etc., but I am still down about it. When people ask how old they are, I say almost 7 months old and the usual response is "oh, they are crawling and rolling over - this is such a fun age." But we are not their yet, and it makes me feel bad. Sometimes I feel like a failure that they are not doing these things. I felt like a failure when they were born at 34 weeks, but I was able to get past that, but all those feelings are back now that they are late according to actual age. I am trynig to tell myself that they will do it at their own time, but I am still down about it. I guess I just have to let this pass. Thanks for listening and any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Feeling down about not reaching developmental milestones...
Don't get too down on yourself- I was giving myself major anxiety over the fact that DD wasn't walking at 16months actual- so much so that I booked her an appointment with a PT. Guess what? She walked 3 weeks later, a week before the appointment I had set, and hasn't stopped.
DD's major set back has always been gross motor- she's behind even her adjusted age at every milestone. It's easy to get caught up on it because people tend to focus on the gross motor- Is she sitting up? Is she crawling? Is she walking? But DD is also off the charts in problem solving and fine motor skills- she can do simple four piece puzzles, manipulate Legos (not Duplo or Mega blacks but small Legos), open caps on bottles and jars, etc. It's not uncommon for even full term babies to excel in other areas where one lags behind- my developmental therapist says she not concerned so long as she doesn't fall behind in more than one category or lose skills along the way.
Chances are your LOs are excelling in other areas. I know you want them to hit the big targets, but there may be some smaller targets (socialization or problem solving) that they're off the charts in but you don't notice it because you're focused so much on what they aren't doing right now. Hold strong momma- you're right, they'll do it in their own time. Encourage where you can and praise them for the things they are doing so that you can all celebrate those achievements more frequently!
It can be hard. Don't forget to adjust the age - and when people ask don't feel at all bad about giving an adjusted age so you don't get comments. A lot of term kids aren't anywhere near crawling at 7 months!
Andrew was on par with his adjusted age, and then when he got older (a year adjusted) he started to slip. He's 2 years old and more like his 15 month old peers it seems in most areas, but, he is progressing and doing the best he can. He is happy and healthy. I remind myself of that, even when it is hard. He's also more laid back and doesn't have tantrums, unlike most kids his age, so I guess every kid is different.
I know what you're going through - just remember how strong your kids are and what they have done in their short life times!
Don't feel bad. You have been though enough. My girls started pulling themselves up on everything before they could even sit so when they fell they went all the way down. It took them about two weeks for them to learn to fall in a sitting position. They still can't "crawl" they army crawl or roll everywhere. I they started rolling over and crawling within a month of each other. I have learned my girls do a ton of learning things in a month then don't do anything for a couple of months. What they lack in motor skills they don't lack in signing or in talking. They can speak pretty clearly for their age. I was told that most Dr.'s don't get to concerned until they are over 2.
My 10mth old (8 adjusted). In the early months he hit some milesstones according to his actual and some by adjusted. But like pp said they hit a lot of milestones at once and stop to rest and then start again. In the the last two weeks DS has started crawling, started sitting up on his own and pulling up on furniture and it is as if he started doing these all at once. Just try to be patient and remember your child is a preemie and will take his/her own time to do whatever they feel like.