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Georgia Babies
K&P414
member
WWYD?
K&P414
member
The guy I work for and his wife are expecting their first baby in April. I'm hosting a baby shower for her this weekend. I just looked at her registry and sort of freaked out on her behalf. She isn't registered for hardly any of the things that *I* think are most important. And noone has bought any of the stuff that she did register for that is important. First of all, she has 3 hodgepodge registries (Target, Buy Buy Baby and BRU) which confuses me. But she registered for the same travel system at Target and BRU, but in a different color. Of course no one has bought it for her but I'm assuming that was an oversight? She didn't register for a swing but I see that someone bought her one anyway. No bouncy, no pack n play, no pump (she plans to ebf), no crib sheets, no swaddlers, no bottles, no paci, no thermometer, but she did register for a bottle cleaner and wipe warmer.
She's the first of her friends/family to have a baby so I don't think she is getting lots of hand me down stuff. Should I say anything to her? We're friends enough that it wouldn't be inappropriate but I don't want to upset her or make her freak out that she is going to be a bad mommy because all she registered for was organic cook books and seventh generation wipes.
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Re: WWYD?
Could you ask the husband if he thinks she would be offended by your offering to assist her with her registry? Maybe just say something like, "I know when I was pregnant with my first, I was overwhelmed and had no idea what I really needed and i was glad to so relieved to have someone help me."
I talked to her husband and he said she really wants her video monitor but it's like $170 and I can't swing that. I have offered my help but she hasn't taken me up on it, not in a rude way, she's just more fly by the seat of her pants, "Oh, I was close to Buy Buy Baby so I ran in there and registered for a few things."
I know she won't be offended if I say something to her about it, I just don't want to hurt her feelings.
I'd talk to her. My new SIL is pregnant and even though we dont' know each other too well, I totally gave her all kinds of feedback on her registry.
I started out with telling her this was all MY opinion and she could take it or leave it, but blah blah blah.
Maybe say something like that? Also, I remember registering for Jax and it sucked. It wasn't near as much fun as wedding registry was since you have to get just the right stuff and not just what you want. and you don't want to forget anything and need it at an inopportune time. blah blah.
I think you'll do fine though I'd DEF talk to her...ASAP
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I would not say anything unless she asks for advice. BRU gives you a most needed list when you register.
Maybe you can get her some essentials that she needs and didn't register for.
If you are the type to come across as a "know it all" (like me) even though you have good intentions then I would just buy something I could afford that you thought was useful and not on the registry and include a receipt. If you come across as helpful then go for it. Definitely you don't want her to end up needing stuff that first week! Some people HAVE to have registry items and tell other people what to buy them and some people appreciate whatever they get. Maybe she just felt awkward choosing gifts? Honestly the best thing you could do is suggest gift cards and then run to the store for her when the baby comes to get what she needs with them. See if you can find a friend or two for the video monitor or else come up with a creative way to play a shower "game" where everyone contributes to the pool for the "big" gift of a video monitor.
Also offer to let her "try out" any of your used baby gear to see if she wants to buy a bouncy or swing or PNP. When Isaac was born I somehow got extra gear passed to me for free plus gifts poured in for up to six months (I had no second shower). She may think she doesn't need them for whatever reason. I had a coworker that didn't have ANYTHING with her newborn (moved across country first week he was born and had no money bc she had just finished her PHD) and I lent her my stuff and she was so grateful. She was also more than happy to return it when I got pregnant again.
This is really tough.
On one side, I *hate* know it alls & Smug Marrieds. On the other, I would have been 100% completely lost in the registering process without my mom friends. If you are decently close to her, I would probably send an email saying something along the lines of:
"I looked at your registries, what fun! Isn't it so exciting?! Just wanted to throw out there some things that were total Must-Haves for me. Take them or leave them, I just found them super-helpful and they were things my mom friends recommended to me that I would have had no idea about otherwise. The items I found most useful that you haven't already included are: _______. I thought the entire thing was SO overwhelming, so if you have any questions about certain items, I'd love to try to help!"
Make it totally innocuous and super-bubbly. But at the end of the day, if she only registers for stupid stuff, this is the one time where I feel that it is totally ok to go off the registry and get her what you know she needs, plus a gift receipt of course.