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:) Hello Ladies!!

Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12
in Military Families

Hello and Good Morning,

I have never wrote on the "Military Family" board, but I normally write on the July 2011 board or 2nd Trimester.  I just wanted to introduce myself to all of you. Although it seems like all of you would be the easiest to communicate with, it's taken me a while to build up the courage to write on this board. 

My due date is July 4th!  It's our first and we found out we were pregnant the day he left.  The SO is deployed currently in Afghanistan.  About two weeks ago we found out we are having a girl-Tenley Marie!  We are both extremely excited. 

Can't wait to communicate with you ladies. 

I'll mention it now so I don't have to do a separate post, I knew this was coming....He's been talking about going active.  It's just a thought right now, but a part of me feels so guilty for being slightly excited about this.  This is where my guilt comes from: since the SO and I both grew up close to our entire families, it breaks my heart to see that Tenley won't, but that doesn't mean the family can't visit and vice versa.  I completely support him with any decision he makes and it excites me to think of starting that part of our lives together.  :)   

This happening to any of you?  If so how is the family reacting to it and your LOs. 

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Re: :) Hello Ladies!!

  • Army vs NavyArmy vs Navy
    Welcome! Hi baby Tenley! The biggest thing you can do since you have made the decision together, is to support him regardless. There are groups Tenley and you can get involved in, and I encourage you to do so. When the SO/spouses are away, you'll find your friends/military family will be there for you and you for them. Tenley will be able to experience so much more and make so many new friends. While being a military spouse may not always be the easiest thing from time to time, it is worth it. 
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  • Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12

    Thank you! And hello from the both of us.  This is such great advice and definitely made SOME guilt go away!  :)  Thanks so much. 

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  • Army vs NavyArmy vs Navy
    Supporting a SO who's willing to give up certain freedoms for his country is something to be proud of. I'm sure it helps that you are excited and willing to support him in this decision. Behind every great man stands a great women. You are already showing him by being pregnant, while he is away, that you can take care of yourself and Tenley. Let us know how Tenley is doing.
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  • Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12

    Absolutely.  I will stand behind him no matter what.  I think he knows that.  :)   

    You're truly a sweetheart, I will do so and keep connected! 

    Thanks!!  :) 

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  • kass08kass08

    Please take the date of his R&R out of your post and read up on OPSEC/PERSEC.

    https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/24777096.aspx

    Congrats on the baby!

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  • Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12
    imagebuckeyebabe08:

    Please take the date of his R&R out of your post and read up on OPSEC/PERSEC.

    https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/24777096.aspx

    Congrats on the baby!

     

    Done!  :(  I apolgoze.  Thanks SO much for passing this along to me, 1st deployment.  And thanks for the congrats. 

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  • seastar77seastar77
    Are you saying DH is in the Guard and talking about AD? If so, then I can say from experience that my DH's decision to go Guard to AD THRILLED me and I didn't feel guilty one bit (helps that my family has a lot of military and are understanding; his doesn't and his parents were crushed bc we left shortly after we announced our first pregnancy). As chance would have it, I've actually been home a lot with our DD and am currently home for my 2nd pregnancy because DH is deployed, so the grandparents have gotten significantly more time in than we had anticipated. Even when we're not home, though, we skype with them and they can visit. My husband's happiness with his job and the benefits of it for our family (plus, I love change and moving!) have made any sacrifice of family time worth it. I grew up surrounded by family, as did he, but we don't think our kids will suffer for not having that; just makes trips home more valuable and makes us appreciate the support of our great military friends even more Smile
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  • Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12

    imageseastar77:
    Are you saying DH is in the Guard and talking about AD? If so, then I can say from experience that my DH's decision to go Guard to AD THRILLED me and I didn't feel guilty one bit (helps that my family has a lot of military and are understanding; his doesn't and his parents were crushed bc we left shortly after we announced our first pregnancy). As chance would have it, I've actually been home a lot with our DD and am currently home for my 2nd pregnancy because DH is deployed, so the grandparents have gotten significantly more time in than we had anticipated. Even when we're not home, though, we skype with them and they can visit. My husband's happiness with his job and the benefits of it for our family (plus, I love change and moving!) have made any sacrifice of family time worth it. I grew up surrounded by family, as did he, but we don't think our kids will suffer for not having that; just makes trips home more valuable and makes us appreciate the support of our great military friends even more Smile

    YES, OMG... I hope you see this reply::  I'm new to the military thing... I get so excited about certain things and as you see above half of it is preggo and I blab things I should not UGH.  I'm just excited for us to do this "together" I guess.  I have not even traveled too much, but I'm just ready for the change as well.  I've realized that we are her family and the rest of the family will still see her.  :) He's talking about going AD, but I guess our main thing right now is seeing if he can and what not.  He's deployed now and has a couple more years of a contract left in the nat. guard...so we are wondering what his steps would be to going AD for the Army??  Or can he w/ the nat. guard and have benefits be similar? I guess this is where it gets sticky. 

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  • seastar77seastar77

    My husband got the itch for AD when he was deployed NG. He still had almost a year on his contract (not including IRR) when he got back (but he also was halfway done with college, so in our case, he finished school and then went AD as an officer through OCS). He was not able to sign the AD contract until he got his DD214 from the NG; in the past few years he and everyone else he knows who tried to get released early from their NG contract to go AD was denied, so your DH should probably expect to have to finish his contract unless he knows someone with pull or you happen to live in a state with an extremely cooperative NG.

    As for making the decision, I was the driving force because the idea really enticed me. My DH mentioned it, then backed off, and I had gotten my hopes up because it seemed like an exciting challenge for us as a couple (and in DH's case, like he really truly would thrive at it compared to his civilian options for work if he just stayed NG). I pestered him about it a long time before he started seriously considering it, but in the end, he came to the decision on his own and has loved it. (And he has gotten to do all the "cool stuff" that his NG unit couldn't ever get slots to send him to lol.)

    All that said, it is a completely different life than NG. When he gets back from his current deployment, he will have been away at schools and overseas for 21 out of 29 months since going AD (not including random overnights/weekends/weeks here and there in the field, staff duty 24 hour shifts, and the fact that he typically works a 12-14 hour day when home, often longer). So even though we talk about it as "our adventure" in military life, it's more like "his" and "mine" lol. You'll need to be prepared to single parent a lot, so if after your LO arrives you get used to having family on hand all the time to help out, then AD will be a big switch for you (though you'll find good friends and excellent childcare on post).

    All in all, we love the choice we made even though more days than not it is a challenging and difficult lifestyle (DH has/will miss both births and lots of time with our kids while they're young). Alternately, my brother works AGR for the Guard and loves that, too. Still gets the benefits of being a full time soldier, but lives in the same community as our extended family and doesn't have as crazy of a schedule as an AD soldier, so that's another option depending on what your DH is looking for out of his military career.

    Good luck!

     

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  • Shotgunqueen12Shotgunqueen12
    Thanks so much for explaining/giving all of this info.  We'll see what happens, but I did get to talk to him tonight.  I asked him about it and he said he's not sure about leaving family either, but is definitely looking into it.  He's got a lot of time to think with that time away being deployed.  I stand behind him no matter what he decides, but it does seem exciting to me. 
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