dh just got notice of his 1st deployment. support needed.
SarahTx5701
member
I hate hate hate to be a whiney baby because I know many, many of you are on multiple deployments.
Dh just found out he'll be heading overseas. We just had our second son and this will be his very first deployment. He's been in over 5 years now. I'm trying to be strong but it kills me that he won't see the boys for such a long time. Which I know is terrible to say too because a lot of you all face much longer deployments. This one will be 6-8 months (including training time). I know a lot of your dream for such a short trip. I don't know how you ladies do it, I admire so many of you for your strength!
Anyway, I would just love to get some great resources, websites, blogs, groups, etc. for dealing with this. I'm not sure if I'll stay here or go home to stay with family during this time. I'm very lucky we got stationed here and now have fmaily 3 hours away. We had our first son and lived in Alaska! So that's a blessing at least.
My ds is a HUGE daddy's boy, so I'm so worried about how he'll handle it. Right now, I've thought of having dh record a few of those story books for ds's.
If your dh left when you child was around 5 months old, did they remember them when they came back? what was the transition like? I'm so sad for dh, but trying to be strong myself so it doesn't make it harder on him.
anyway, sorry if this is spacey, I'm just not sure what to think about it all! Obviously very very nervous!
Re: dh just got notice of his 1st deployment. support needed.
For a 6-8 month deployment, I don't suggest you move home. Your kids will have enough of an adjustment without being uprooted. You said your family is only 3 hours away. I would plan a long weekend visit maybe once a month. You can have your family schedule weekend visits at your house, too. That will give you all something to look forward to and also give you little breaks.
Halmark has recordable books. I bought one called All the Ways I Love You for H to record for our kids. They call it the Daddy Book. When H was gone on this last deployment, my daughter was convinced that he was stopping everything he was doing in Afghanistan to read to her every time she opened that book. She would get one of his shirts and climb up into his chair to listen to that book.
Many people use Skype to communicate durring deployments. H isn't allowed to use that over there, but he is able to use Yahoo video chat. I highly recomend that y'all use one of those. My kids are able to get facetime with their daddy while they talk. Our video chats are usually much longer than our phone convos, if the internet isn't cutting out on him. He can see how the kids are growing and what they have been up to. I can look at him and see with my own eyes that he is doing well.
You will have bad days, but you will have plenty of good days. If you keep your selves busy and try to stay positive, the deployment will be over before you know it. Hang in there.
I'm sorry, first deployments are always the toughest b/c you don't know what to expect. We just got done with our second and last (fingers crossed) a few months back.. It's hard with children.. Our DD was a total daddy's girl and could not understand where he went for so long. But, skype helps A LOT. It's a life saver seriously.. Also we got her a 'daddy doll' from www.huggeemissyou.com it's cool because you can get camo and put a picture or if you order far enough in advance have your DH record a message.
I'd say surround yourself with friends and family. Maybe going home for a few months is an option? I went home for 4 months this summer, and time flew. (I lived at home the whole deployment our first time) And most importantly keep yourself and those kiddos busy as anything.. It's so easy to want to sit around and be lazy all day, but time passes quickly the more you do..
First month is always the longest until you establish a rutine.. You'll do fine though, and I'm sure these next 6-8 months will fly by for you.
Good luck and God Bless to you and your family.
An alternative to the books you can record (that seem to fail) is this MP3 teddy bear:
https://www.hammacher.com/Product/79069?source=FROOGLE
We have two of them and they are great. You can record your husband reading up to 6 hours worth of books and upload them to the bear. Then you can hold the bear while you read a book with your kiddos.
You can do this! Deployments are no fun, but 6-8 months is a doable starter deployment and with two kids to tend to, I'm betting the time will fly by (especially since I imagine you'll be motivated to stay even busier trying to make up for all that boring bedrest time you had to endure : P)
Get a Daddy Doll for your older son (or one for each). My DD loves the one she has from HugaHero.com - custom pic and you can add a voice recorder (the type the PP mentioned were handed out via ACS during predeployment briefs at our post, so you might be able to get one of those for free).
Order the free Sesame Street deployment kit from MilitaryOneSource.com; it's geared toward young kids.
We skipped the recordable books (they are expensive) and just had my DH video tape himself reading a few of my DD's favorite books. I play the videos and have the books on hand for her to follow along.
Skype is a godsend if he has access where he gets stationed.
Someone on this board recently mentioned making a "Daddy Wall" at home for her kids to post their favorite holiday pics, schoolwork, drawings, etc, during the time apart and then it was all in one place to show off when the dad arrived home.
My husband was away when my DD was 4-8 months of age for training, and she warmed right up to him when he came back! Same when he was away at 10 months, and this deployment he'll miss all of 1-2 years but she talks about him incessantly and is thrilled to see him on skype or hear his voice on the phone... we'll see how R&R goes in a few months. I wouldn't worry too much about your son losing his connection with his dad. I know it's cliche, but kids are really resilient and there are tons of great ways for them to stay connected while your DH is away : )
this made me tear up, damnn the hormones!