Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Why didn't I just wait?!
What are the reasons he is suggesting adoption? What are you plans in terms of working when the baby arrives? How strong is your support system? Are you able to care for your child?
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Why are guys always evil douchebags the moment they offer a viable, legal safe option?
But if you waited till marriage, you could end up marrying the douchebag. Then he would be a lot harder to get rid of! Hopefully he decides to man up and take care of his child. If not, thats his loss. Sometimes its not worth having that man in your childs life.
This. Not every guy is ready to be a dad and he was being honest, If its not an option for you, ok. He can pay child support but he doesn't have to be involved. Maybe its better off he not be physically involved.
How old are you? Because you sound very young. The lesson to take from this isn't "don't have sex before marriage." It's "don't get involved with a jerk."
As for being a single mother, how do you KNOW you have an amazing support system. What are they willing to do to support you and your baby? Provide a place to live? Pay medical bills? Provide free daycare? These are questions you need to ask, ASAP. There's a big difference between a friend who is willing to listen to you complain about how hard being a mom is and a friend who is willing to babysit on a regular basis to give you a break.
You say you are looking for a better paying job. Have you looked into childcare at all? Do you know how much daycare costs for an infant? Hint: I paid nearly $1200 a month for a very good daycare center when my daughter was an infant. Do you have health insurance? If not, how will you pay for maternity care and the birth? Will you have maternity leave? If you don't have paid time off for maternity leave, will you have enough money to take off work long enough to give birth and recover?
As for your baby's father, you can sue him for child support, but depending on your state, you might have a hard time actually collecting it. Whether or not he pays child support has no bearing on his right to see his child. You can tell him to get lost, but the reality is that if you have this baby and choose to parent, you may be stuck with him for the rest of your life. Let's say he grows up and decides that he does want to be involved in his child's life. Or perhaps he decides that being involved in his child's life is a good way to piss you off. Chances are, you're going to be packing up a diaper bag and sending your little one off for unsupervised weekend visits with Daddy, whether you like it or not. I've watched a friend's custody issues with her ex drag on for more than three years, as he finds new ways to skip out on child support but demand the right to see his child. If you want to know just how big of a douche a guy can be over custody, visitation and child support, I can tell you some horror stories.
I guess at this point, I have to wonder why you're having a child with this man. You hate him, you regret the relationship, and it doesn't sound like you've done much research into what being a single parent will really entail. So why aren't you considering adoption? It's not about what's best for you, it's about what's best for the baby.