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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Worst mom ever/Pissed at DH vent (looong)
Well. Yesterday was my worst day of being a mom ever. DS and I get up for the day. I leave him in his crib so I can get dressed. We do this most mornings because he is usually content in there. Half way through pulling my pants up DS starts screaming. I run from the bathroom back to the bedroom where he has gotten his leg stuck in between the slats on his crib.
Trying to prevent that from happening again, I move DS to his jumperoo, let the dog out of the kennel, and run to the rest room. I am on my way back to DS when I hear the dog start growling, barking and then DS scream. I get into the room and see that the dog has bitten DS's face and arm.. Out of no where.
I have no idea how this happened. The dog and DS are (well were. Will not let do near kid now) fine around each other. DS had no food. Bo has never been violent a day in his life. I feel so STUPID. I rarely let the dog out of his kennel in the morning because he get up with DH when DH is getting ready for work and they go on a walk decent walk. But no... Yesterday I felt bad because I was supposed to go to class and then straight to work and DH had errands to run after he go off work so the dog would be in his kennel longer than normal.
So yeah. No clue what the hell happened. The dog just snapped. Bo is a black lab beagle mix so a decent family dog. DS has been around the dog and played played withhim in the past and everything was fine. I did not notice any fur around his fingers like I would if he had pull out hair or something.. But then again, I was more focused on H. The dog got him really bad on the forehead and some scratches on his cheek, nose, upper lip, and chin. There is also a decent bite mark shaped bruise on his arm. After a trip to the doctors, H has an antibiotic and lucked out of stitches. The deepest cut could have gotten one stitch but the doctor was worried it might increase his chance of infection. I feel awful about this.
The dog is not a bad dog. He has NEVER done anything like this to anyone or our cats. I have no clue what happened. All I know is I want to get rid of the dog. This is where the DH part comes in.
He no only wants to keep the dog, he thinks I am over-reacting and he keeps letting the dog near our son. I am livid with this. To make matters worse, DH keeps saying it is my decision to get rid of the dog or not because I saw the incident happen. I know perfectly well that if I get rid of the dog with out him consenting (or even talking about this issue) DH will hold it against me forever... But to be perfectly honest, the way his is acting about this is making me sick and almost hate him. If our dog (who never did anything like this in the past) can snap like that on Hendrix now what will happen when Hendrix is bigger? I do not even want to consider something like this happening.
There are so many baby-less families out there that could use a good dog like Bogart. I hate to get rid of him because he has been such a good do, but H is my main priority now and if Bo can't place nice, we can't keep him around... Right?
I don't know. Guess I should be ready to be flamed for leaving my kid unattended with a dog.. Though. But it's all good. I never post anymore any way.
Added: Sorry for all the typos. Just noticed them but am way to lazy to go back and fix them. That's what I get for typing from my phone.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Worst mom ever/Pissed at DH vent (looong)
I won't flame you; no reason to.
Accidents happen, and if as you say the dog had never displayed any tendencies in the past, you would have no reason to not think it appropriate to leave them in the same room; I would have done the same thing.
What will show your character and your responsible parenting is not by preventing anything from happening to your child in his life, it's how you deal with those situations when they arise, and the responsible thing to do now is to get rid of the dog. There is obviously something not right with him. He may never do anything again, but you can't take that risk with your son or with anyone else, as you are legally liable for the actions of your dog.
I understand that they become a part of your family (we had to put our 11 month old boston terrier down when i was 36 weeks pregnant, so I get it), and it will be tough to say goodbye, but you can't take that risk.
I'm not sure how you can make your DH come around, but you are making the right decision by finding the dog another home. You should take the dog to the vet to rule out any terminal neurological disorders that may cause aggressiveness.
So sorry this happened.
I am sorry for your loss. Pets do become some much a part of the family. It sucks.
I had never considered something like that. I will be doing this. I can't just give Bogart away if there is possibly something like this that could cause him to hurt someone else.
Thanks. It was hard but we are actually bringing home our sweet Gus' nephew next week; life works in funny ways.
The only reason I suggest this is because we had noticed Gus' behavior changing in the weeks before we lost him: he started snapping at people and was skittish around anyone other than DH and I and my parents. He seemed agitated a lot of the time as well. I just chalked it up to him sensing he getting closer to labor, etc...
However, one day he deteriorated significantly and as part of the veterinary process, they gave him an MRI and determined he had a brain tumor that was causing the change in behavior. It was likely that he was born with it and we didn't know. In our case, there was nothing we could do, and we put him down. But...if you could find out what is wrong with Bo, you know you either had no choice but to put him down (and wouldn't feel guilty about it) or you could treat what is wrong with him.
I hope everything works out!
Ok, I am a HUGE animal lover/advocate, but unfortunately in this situation I feel like the dog needs to find a new home. Perhaps he is just not good with little ones, I don't know. You will probably never know what happened that day (unless you witness another attack) but the risk is just too great with a defenseless little one. If it was just you and your DH and the dog had done it to one of you, I would feel like you could probably give a second chance but that is not the case.
The mother of a friend of mine was attacked by the family dog, months after the dog had bitten a male family friend. She LOST HER EYE. As in, gone. The dog was euthanized. It would be absolutely heartbreaking to have your little boy seriously injured by your dog.
Good luck, I know this must be an agonizing situation. Someone needs to talk to your husband who can get through to him and make him see this for what it is. And if he doesn't, I still think its your obligation to protect your son, regardless.
No flames here. You know it wasn't clever and you're fixing the problem, that's the important thing.
I definitely recommend a visit to the vet and a full health check with bloods etc.
Secondly, get a good professional behaviourist to come in to do an assessment. If you need recommendations, pop over to the forums at www.mysmartpuppy.com. That's where I hung out when we got our dog and there are AMAZING people over there that can recommend someone near to you.
Best of luck. It's a truely horrible situation to be in but you need to do what's right for your LO and DH can deal.
I agree with everyone but your DH in this situation. The bite you describe was not a warning nip, it was an attack.
If DH won't listen to you about the dog then you can not leave the dog, DH and LO alone either. I would go online and get stories/evidence that dogs that bite children once will do it again and the dog needs a new home (if medically appropriate). DH is as worried about LO as you but it sounds like he is in a little denial about what the dog is capable.
I hope LO feels better soon and that you and DH can figure out what is best for all involved.
But- I don't know what I would do. I'm a big dog person- so I can see how your hubby would want to keep the dog, however, LO comes first- and you can't risk it being worse next time. Honestly- is there a good dog trainer in your area? If you wanted to keep the dog- some training and a professional trainer may offer a lot of help and insight into how to prevent this in the future.
First, you should NOT be flamed, this was an accident that you could not control. However, you CAN control it from happening again by removing the dog. I know if this happened to my dog and baby I'd be devistated on both ends (son being hurt and dog having to leave).
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but be happy that your son wasn't hurt any worse. Also, please take time to think about where you will put your dog and EMPHASIZE to the shelter/organization that they did go after a child...you don't want someone to adopt and have a similar problem and they may not take the care or time to see that the dog goes to a good home.
Take care!
I am sorry that you had a biting incident and I am glad that your son is ok. Accidents happen.
It sounds like you weren't in the room and don't exactly know what caused the bite. Children standing up/ in a jumperoo are right at face level for a dog that size. The large majority of dog bites to a child happen to the child's face/head. Perhaps your son, not knowing better, hurt the dog in some fashion and the dog corrected him. That isn't an unprovoked attack.
You have a couple of choices as I see it. First course of action for me would be to 1) never leave baby and dog unsupervised from here on out 2) take dog to vet to rule out medical issues like ear infections etc 3) re-evaluate your dogs training level and determine if behavior modifications need to made. If the dog has been an angel otherwise and bit out of pain, that is a different story than a dog than a dog who has serious resource guarding and aggression issues.
Please realize that the dog has a bite history now. Does that mean you have to re-home it? No
Does that mean that you could be held liable for passing it off to someone else without disclosing it? Yes. A rescue also will probably not take a dog with a bite history and many shelters will label a biter as unadoptable.
If you determine (with the help of a vet and behaviorist) that the dog is truly dangerous and can no longer be part of your home, the kindest and most responsible thing is to put the dog down.
I would also suggest that you seek the advice of the Pets board. Forewarning, you will probably get some lectures about not leaving baby and dog alone (head this off by acknowledging that this wasn't a good idea) and I wouldn't bring up the rehoming quite yet. They will tell you the same thing I just told you about trying to pass off the dog to someone else. That being said, plenty of the ladies on there are very experienced with dog bites and can give good advice.
I'm sorry for your loss, but since it's pretty obvious your dog was poorly bred, why on earth would get another dog that has genetic ties to it?
For the OP, definitely see a vet first. And your DH is right, you weren't there, so you have NO idea what caused this, but no rescue is going to take a dog with a bite history, there are too many well behaved dogs out there that need homes. And you can't lie about it b/c it's now on the internet and you can be sued if a similar situation were to arise with a new family.
Long story short, if you choose to not keep your dog, it will most likely be put to sleep. You need to decide if you'd rather that happen in your loving arms where he's comforted or after living in a shelter, scared alone, and with a stranger.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. If there were soooo many people willing to adopt dogs, ones with bite histories no less, 5+ MILLION wouldnt' be put to sleep by rescues/shelters every.single.year. Please don't speak of things you have no idea about.
Since you didn't see what happened, you cannot assume the dog bit for no reason. I'd first take him to the vet to rule out any health issues and assuming he is healthy, supervise all interaction between the dog and LO in the future.
And while you may think there are "so many baby-less families out there that could use a good dog like Bogart", the reality is that very few people are willing to adopt a dog with a bite history. There are millions of dogs in shelters who have never bitten anyone, why would someone take the chance with a dog that has?
+1
It was actually determined through all the testing that we did that there was no genetic basis to the situation we dealt with. We took Gus to see a neurological specialist to have his testing done, and he determined that is was just an unfortunate fluke. This particular breed isn't prone to tumors like this; it was a variety of brain tumor that specifically targets puppies in general, exclusive of breed. So while it was likely (but not provable) that he was born with it, there was no genetic basis.
We did a lot of research into the breed prior to even getting Gus as we knew we were starting a family and know the breeders well and are familiar with the dogs they do breed; their backgrounds, etc...
So...basically the chance that our new dog will be afflicted with the same condition is the same as with any other dog on the planet.
All of this.
You don't know what happened, because you weren't in the room. Don't immediately assume you need to get rid of the dog. Rule out any medical problems, then work on behavior modification (get a behaviorist's help if it you think it would be useful), and NEVER leave the dog and the baby together unattended.
Fair enough. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I just have a hard time being ok with people continuing to breed when they breed genetically inferior dogs. Obviously that was not the case in your situation.
It stems from the dog on the left in my sig-he was diagnosed at one with Addison's disease which is semi-common in great danes. Over the 4.5 years of his short life (he died last May-I was 7.5 months pregnant) he had many illnesses, some stemming from the disease, some not. His breeder had never heard of the disease (again-it's common in the dane world) and continued to breed his parents.
Not a problem. No apology necessary; I didn't take it that way. Trust me, when we were going through everything, we thought the same thing. We paid a LOT of money for testing (and will be getting pet insurance this time...we learned our lesson!) and got those answers. Part of me was mad that it was just a fluke and not hereditary; because then I found myself asking why it was our puppy that was afflicted, and all those other puppies from his litter are alive, happy and healthy. But, at the end of the day, I am so glad to have had Gus for the time we did, instead of not at all.
I'm so sorry for your loss; losing a pet is one of the toughest things you ever have to go through as a family; you love them unconditionally. I even can't say that I love my dog LESS than my child; it's just a different kind of love, ya know?
Breeding dogs is a very complicated thing; and that's why we did our research before purchasing Gus.
No harm done; I only have respect for people who are responsible pet owners and take pet ownership/selection, etc seriously.
Sorry, I have to go with your H on this one. You have no idea what happened and even though there was no hair, what if your LO grabbed the dog's nose, lips, whiskers?
I don't believe that if you aren't looking for a reason to get rid of him, that you should re-home your dog.
Training your son to handle himself around dogs is super important and until he is old enough to understand that, you probably shouldn't leave the two alone together, especially eye to eye pretty much. My DD has done plenty of things to my dog that may have resulted in a nip or bite had we not been with her and the dog.
I think this was just a lesson in human training not a case of a dog freaking out for no reason. But, yes, do get him checked out to be sure there isn't a medical reason.
No flames at all. Accidents happen but if that happened in my house, well let's just say that dog wouldn't be around anymore.
Let's all just hope you don't ever get an animal then.
You are an idiot.
Cassie, you must realize how rare those organizations are. Posting a generic (and incomplete) list of shelters/rescues doesn't help narrow down to those few that work with a "troubled" dog or even a dog that has a one bite history. If the OP feels like re-homing is her only option and she can find a rescue that is willing to take a dog with a bite history, that's wonderful. But since a large majority of rescues and shelters don't have those resources or want to take the responsibility, I still stand by my position that that the original owner should put the dog down rather than give a false history to get the dog adopted. The liability is tremendous.
But I don't even think you get to the point of putting a dog down until rehabilitation and medication have failed. This incident doesn't sounds like a dangerous dog, just an unfortunate situation.
Sorry. You were really stupid to leave your child and dog alone together unsupervised. You'd do better to get rid of yourself than the dog since it is YOUR fault. Don't leave them alone together again EVER and you will be fine.
And how the f do you know it happened out of nowhere if you weren't bothering to watch your child?
Right, because her kid would be better off with a dog then with a mother. Get off your high horse.
I'm sorry, but it is one thing to say never to leave them alone together, and quite another to actually follow through. I don't know how old the dog is, but you're talking about YEARS of having to keep them separated? It's easy now when they're little, but what about when her LO is 2, 5, 7? What kind of life is that for the dog??
My ILs have 3 dogs that will never be within lunging distance of my kids, ever. I'm on edge every time we go over there, and I follow DD around like a hawk. It's a very stressful evening every time we visit. I couldn't imagine living like that.
To the OP, I'm really sorry about your son, I hope he's doing ok, and I hope you can resolve your issues with your H.
I didn't read all the previous post- but I wanted to tell you my related story.
DH and I have 3 dogs- he had 2 small dogs (a jack russell and a shitzupo) and I had a golden retriever when we met. When I got pregnant we discussed getting rid of one or two of the small dogs- but DH never followed through.
THe jack russell was DH's favorite- and I am not a fan of her. When I was prego my neice came to visit and brought her 2 year old. The LO went up to the garden doors to the backyard and the jack russel who was outside snapped and growled through the glass. DH saw this and though he was suprised said she would never bite anyone. Now that we have our own LO, the jack russel has growled at her from the other side of the baby gate. I don't trust the dog and want rid of her, but DH loves the dog and thinks I am picking on her. I don't let that dog anywhere near LO. The other dogs are totally fine with her.
If I were you I would take the dog to the vet and then talk to the vet about finding another home for the animal. If you DH is allowing you to decide to get rid of the dog you should do so, and he will have to come around in time.
Thanks for all of your posts. It is helping me a little with my decision. I KNOW I was stupid for letting them be alone together.
For those of you that are so opposed to re-homing the dog, just think about it. If he is kept here, he is going to be soooo limited. He will not be able to be around my son . He will be alone and on his own most of the time now. What kind of life is that for a dog? A pretty shitty one in my opinion.
I am working on re-homing the dog now. My DH is talking to his dad to see if his dad will take him so we are not dumping him with strangers and so DH can still see him on a weekly basis. Bo will also get more one on one attention this way.
We will also be taking him to the vet tomorrow to make sure there is not an underlying health condition that lead to this even. My LO may very well have done something to hurt the dog and I understand that... BUT there are going to be times when the dog and the kid are together unsupervised. Our home is very open and unless I pretty much lock the dog in a kennel 24/7 it will be very difficult to keep them separated. I DO NOT TRUST THE DOG AROUND MY SON NOW. A week ago, maybe but not anymore. I will not risk a next time being worse.
Also, as stated above, I do believe the dog will be happier being the baby. There are plenty of people in this area that would still take him for his hunting abilities. Re-homing should not be that big of an issue - even with a biting history.