Disheartened... Lila's 1 month well check

adamsbabble · March 2011

Lila had her 1 month well check today (at almost 6 weeks... I guess I'm becoming a slacker mom with my third baby). As you may or may not know, I have been tandem nursing her along with Charlotte who is 21 months, and while many people are able to tandem feed successfully and it's safe, the concern is for the newborn and whether she is getting the nutrition she needs.

I figured it was going well because my supply seems to be fine and she is having enough wet and dirty diapers. However, at her appointment today she was only up 1 pound since birth (she was 8 lbs. 5 oz. then and 9 lbs. 5 oz. today at 5 weeks 5 days). Of course, she was 7 lbs. 12 oz. at her 1 week appt. so in reality she has gained more than a pound since she's been nursing, but her weight was not the only reason pedi was concerned. While it was down a little, her other concern is that her stools have turned from the bright yellow stools that BF babies have to a greenish that could be an indicator she isn't getting what she needs calorie wise.

She really stressed weaning Charlotte, and being more aggressive about it. Honestly, if I didn't have another baby, I'd have no problem continuing to let her nurse so I feel bad about it. She is still really attached and cries when I've refused in the past. A new sibling has been a big change for her already (although she's done pretty well with it) and now I'm supposed to wean her? She also sent me home with some of those ready to feed bottles of formula and wanted me to give some to Lila, so she had her first bottle tonight and she downed it (2 oz.). I just feel so defeated.

Any ideas on how to wean a very attached toddler? Or better ideas/tips on how to successfully tandem feed, so that Lila gets what she needs? (It doesn't seem to be a supply issue... I guess it is a quality issue because Charlotte is taking what Lila needs? I don't know... I don't really understand it.)

Other than that, Lila is doing great as far as milestones and development, and I'm so thankful for a healthy baby.

jerseygirl81 · March 2011

Isn't the green poop an indication of a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance? It sounds like Lily isn't getting enough of the high-calorie milk and too much of the thin stuff. Do you nurse them both at the same time? Maybe Charlotte needs to go first so that Lily can get the good stuff later on?

Mrs.Cooley2bee · March 2011

jerseygirl81:
Isn't the green poop an indication of a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance? It sounds like Lily isn't getting enough of the high-calorie milk and too much of the thin stuff.

I was thinking this too. I guess trying to latch Lila after some foremilk has been expressed (either by Charlotte or a pump) could be helpful. In reality it seems like it would be a heck of a lot of work. It seems like it would be easier to wean Charlotte at this point....but I have no suggestions on how to help with that one. Ugh. I'm glad Lila is doing well otherwise, she's adorable :0)

ETA: This is what KellyMom says about green poop.

Green
This can be a result of a hindmilk/foremilk imbalance. A true imbalance is rare. It is often seen accompanying a forceful letdown. Lactation consultants will help moms find a nursing pattern which works to combat this problem. If letdown it too forceful in the early weeks, the solution can be to allow milk to leak into a cloth diaper during letdown, then latch baby back on. Feeding two to three times off the same side may also show improvement. Caution should be used with same side feeding as it can decrease supply

Missbollinger · March 2011

Please don't beat yourself up about this, I was really geared up to tandem but Henry self weaned at 19 months and I was actually quite sad about it. From the sounds of things it is a foremilk inbalance, are you letting Lila drain a breast? I nurse on one side only to make sure Serena gets everything out she needs. I found when I was nursing Henry if I switched too early he wouldn't get the thicker hind milk.

Also have you checked Kellymom? another DDB I am on has an excellent BF group and a few of the ladies are LC's. PM if you want the link.

Good Luck!

Traycee1242 · March 2011

I'm sorry : (. That really stinks. Please don't beat yourself up.
I agree with ppl.. I would wean her. BF is such a personal bond..so its hard to look at it any other way. Your toddler is trying to get her way and it's a control issue. Just like anything else..try to separate it like you were trying to wean her from a paci. Of course having a new sibling is a huge adjustment... It will be whether you wean or not. But right now, Charlotte doesn't need BM... But Lila does. I would just go cold turkey.. Like you said you haven't been successful weaning before... Seems like trying to cut down isn't working.
Hugs Mama. Keep us posted.

doodlebug914 · March 2011

I would highly suggest going to a La Leche League group. I think they would offer the best support and suggestions. If you need help finding a meeting near you please let me know. Hang in there, I can't imagine the emotions you're going through.

l.m.k. · March 2011

I'm sorry. That's a rough position to be put in. I think it is in Lila's best interest to wean Charlotte, but first I would definitely try having Charlotte nurse first so Lila can get the hindmilk. If that doesn't fix it, then could you cut Charlotte back to once a day before bedtime?

MelissaMc22 · March 2011

so tough Kessler, I hate it that you are in this position.

PP had some great suggestions, good luck!

adamsbabble · March 2011

Thanks for the support and suggestions ladies!

Sometimes I nurse them both at the same time, because I wanted Lila to get both foremilk and hindmilk, but I think she may not be finishing what she needs. I've been trying to keep her at the breast for a good amount of time, but she's still a sleepy baby and doesn't actively suck the entire time. I think I'll try having Charlotte nurse first so that even if Lila isn't actively sucking or is falling asleep, she's at least getting better quality milk... and if that still doesn't work, I'll just have to cut Charlotte off cold turkey.

I'm wondering if the bigger problem is Lila's sleepiness rather than Charlotte's nursing though?? Even if I wean Charlotte and Lila doesn't stay awake/actively nurse, she still won't get the good stuff. (Or am I just in denial about weaning?? lol... WTH is wrong with me??)

tpo1118 · March 2011

I have no idea...but I feel for you. I am sorry that you are struggling with this.

kel716 · March 2011

doodlebug914:
I would highly suggest going to a La Leche League group. I think they would offer the best support and suggestions. If you need help finding a meeting near you please let me know. Hang in there, I can't imagine the emotions you're going through.

I was going to suggest this too... and also trying to find an LC that really knows about tandem feeding successfully before I hung it up completely.

Hugs Momma!

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Disheartened... Lila's 1 month well check

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