Baby Shower question

sailfish20 · February 2011

Has any of your friends or family said that they will be throwing your shower for you? The only reason why I ask is because I have a feeling my MIL will try to run this just like my bridal shower. Dont get me wrong I had a very nice bridal shower but I kinda want to have a say in what happens for my baby shower. Is this too much to ask? Should I just sit back and wait to see if she offers and if she does just kindly tell her how I feel? TIA

Themetastic · February 2011

I had like 108 people @ my bridal shower and while it was very nice, I had no say in it and it is not what I want for a baby shower. My mom told me she plans on throwing me a shower and she mentioned not wanting to invite so many people. I told her, that is great because I want to keep the numbers as low as possible (we have a big family so I am still at like 60 people) and as low-key and home-grown as possible. I offered to have it in my backyard (we have a huge backyard and my parnets live in a condo) since it will be summer & I won't have to haul all of our stuff anywhere.

I would wait until you hear something and then say thanks.. this is what I was thinking.

I hope you get what you want!

MrsGo4Hockeychick · February 2011

what do you mean by you "want a say"?

because a baby shower, like a bridal shower, is a GIFT from someone that they get to plan and run how they see fit.

brobbins05 · February 2011

I don't have much planned yet.... But personally, I believe you should get some say in it. I have read other posts where people say that this is a party thrown for you and the baby and it's all the hostess's decision. but I think you should get a say. Like for our wedding showers, we got to choose that one was for us as a couple and one was for me.

I would say wait until she or others offer.... if she offers, maybe you can have some gentle ways worked out to express your feelings about the past showers and this shower and your desires. I do think you have to be really careful and gentle, because we all know how sensitive people can be!

sailfish20 · February 2011

Themetastic:

I had like 108 people @ my bridal shower and while it was very nice, I had no say in it and it is not what I want for a baby shower. My mom told me she plans on throwing me a shower and she mentioned not wanting to invite so many people. I told her, that is great because I want to keep the numbers as low as possible (we have a big family so I am still at like 60 people) and as low-key and home-grown as possible. I offered to have it in my backyard (we have a huge backyard and my parnets live in a condo) since it will be summer & I won't have to haul all of our stuff anywhere.

I would wait until you hear something and then say thanks.. this is what I was thinking.

I hope you get what you want!

Thanks. I guess I will just sit back and see what happens.

sailfish20 · February 2011

brobbins05:

I don't have much planned yet.... But personally, I believe you should get some say in it. I have read other posts where people say that this is a party thrown for you and the baby and it's all the hostess's decision. but I think you should get a say. Like for our wedding showers, we got to choose that one was for us as a couple and one was for me.

I would say wait until she or others offer.... if she offers, maybe you can have some gentle ways worked out to express your feelings about the past showers and this shower and your desires. I do think you have to be really careful and gentle, because we all know how sensitive people can be!

Isn't that the truth. Thanks

SarahPLiz · February 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
what do you mean by you "want a say"?

because a baby shower, like a bridal shower, is a GIFT from someone that they get to plan and run how they see fit.

I agree with this. And if the guest list is not what you'd prefer, you can decline the shower.

Mrs White · February 2011

SarahPLiz:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:
what do you mean by you "want a say"?

because a baby shower, like a bridal shower, is a GIFT from someone that they get to plan and run how they see fit.
I agree with this. And if the guest list is not what you'd prefer, you can decline the shower.

This

melaniedel · February 2011

I plan on helping my Mom with everything and do not want to put it all on her shoulders. There are a lot of people in my family and she shouldn't have to foot the bill for everything, decorate etc. So I will have a say. It is YOUR shower. She'll take care of RSVP etc, but I have a theme and ideas and love this kind of thing. So we will work it out together:) I want to be involved to a certain extent and will. My Grandma and I are already throwing around ideas, etc. It's exciting and don't like surprises anyway, lol. You have to do what works for you. Maybe plan to have it some place and see if you MIL will take care of invites (give her the list etc). So then she is involved, but not running the show. I know it sounds tacky like you are planning your own shower, but who cares-your going to have one anyway assuming this is your first.

melaniedel · February 2011

melaniedel:

I plan on helping my Mom with everything and do not want to put it all on her shoulders. There are a lot of people in my family and she shouldn't have to foot the bill for everything, decorate etc. So I will have a say. It is YOUR shower. She'll take care of RSVP etc, but I have a theme and ideas and love this kind of thing. So we will work it out together:) I want to be involved to a certain extent and will. My Grandma and I are already throwing around ideas, etc. It's exciting and don't like surprises anyway, lol. You have to do what works for you. Maybe plan to have it some place and see if you MIL will take care of invites (give her the list etc). So then she is involved, but not running the show. I know it sounds tacky like you are planning your own shower, but who cares-your going to have one anyway assuming this is your first.

By the way-just my opinion and me and my family are very close so I'm not shy. GL OP!

alliapistor · February 2011

I think it depends on what you want a say in. You should be able to provide the guest list and pick the date. But deciding everything down to the theme, decorations, what food will be served and what invites should look like -- no, I don't think you really get a say in that.

If you're concerned about those things, do you have friends that are more in line with your style that would be willing to host/help host so that it is closer to what you would like?

crystal959 · February 2011

for DD I had 3 showers. My MIL threw one, my best friend and mom cohosted one, and my 2 aunts threw the 3rd one. The only one I had any "say" in was the food at the one my mom/best friend threw. I really didn't care though who was invited or what we did. lol

Megnucrzy16 · February 2011

For DD, I had three showers as well. Mom threw one, MIL threw one, and co-workers threw one. The only say I was able to have in any of them was guest lists and color scheme for the one my mom threw.

hsunij · February 2011

My mil and my friends are throwing me separate showers and I am staying out of both of them. They asked if I had anything in mind and I just said to please not go overboard and to be simple. I figured that was the easiest way to say "I'm so excited but please dont spend too much or put yourself out because of it"

abell77 · March 2011

I can understand the desire to give input, but other than the guest list (which still you need to consider your host and how many people they are willing and able to accommodate) and the date, the rest of it really is a gift and the gracious thing to do is be grateful and say nothing unless your opinion is asked.

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