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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
sorry
I have a rush of emotions after reading many responses from my BFP post. For the most part the PMs from alot of you reflect happiness for me and desire to keep in touch and I cannot thank you enough for the emails.
Honestly most of you know me... we have supported each other through losses, sickness of loved ones even our pets; we have jumped up and down for each others happy moments; and vented about the endless baby showers and stupid questions people ask. I have always made sure my subject had a religious tone for my posts that mentioned God so that no one would be offended. I obviously failed all of you.
My post came across the wrong way for some. I will not argue or offer excuses..all I can do is apologize. I never meant to hurt you or upset you. I may have a BFP today but I dont' forget where I came from. I want to stay around here with my friends, but now I don't know that I would even be welcomed back if this pg doesn't last let alone stay and continue to hang out with the only people on this earth that ever understood me.
I am truly sorry please accept my apology...if not I understand.
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Re: sorry
I can't speak for the other girls, but I certainly hope you understand that I am not bothered by your BFP - and I do celebrate the great news with you. I truly hope this is your H&H one.
You are right that this is a community like no other. My life has been changed by the women I've met here. So please don't take the responses yesterday to mean that you aren't welcome here. I hope you continue to support the women that have supported you.
As a woman of faith I opened your post to celebrate with you. But your answer to prayer was just a stinging reminder that mine hasn't been. Maybe that's selfish of me. But that's why I said that we usually keep our personal faith out of things - to keep that from happening.
I appreciate your response.... and I know you didn't mean any harm.
Congratulations again! And I'm sure we'll all check in on you over at PgAL.
Lots of luck!
This is very well said.
It wasn't the BFP that was upsetting, like swank said. It was telling us in not so many words to "not listen" to our Dr. and follow our "faith". Two things- faith is very individual and not the same for anyone on her, and Dr's are not evil. FWIW, I didn't listen to my Dr. when she told us IVF was our only shot and look what I got... 3 more failed IUI cycles. It is all a game of chance, you got lucky on your roll and we are happy that you are now KU, but FFS, don't preach about not following what your Dr says.
I would never say not to credit God!
I just thought it would have been better received to know your audience. And that many here are struggling with their faith. The point of testimony is to help others see the goodness of God - but it's ineffective if it's causing more hurt than hope.
Please, give all credit and praise to God - but also think of others.
See? I appreciate your right to exercise your faith, but when you use it to call down my own efforts on behalf of my family I get a little annoyed. I am very happy you got your BFP (in spite of trolling for affirmation of "sighns", when according to your dates you already had a positive test), but my husband and I had to resort to the most drastic of means and do IVF in order to even have a chance at a child. No manner of prayer or faith in a god (if we had any) would've made a difference.
And yet, it still didn't make a difference. I'm staring down the barrel of a failed cycle.
So, don't get all preachy on those of us who aren't as fortunate as yourself. Personally, I think you have chance to thank and were dealt a lucky roll of the statistical dice, but that's just my take on it. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.
12 long, hard years of TTC-
Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF
Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!
BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)
We all make mistakes. No one here thinks you were trying to hurt people-- we know you weren't! But people are just trying to help you see that *this* wasn't the best forum for expressing your religious beliefs in this instance, because they had the potential to hurt. Putting yourself in others' shoes, and all that.
But we're very glad you were lucky, and we all hope very, very much that this baby sticks around and makes you a mommy. Never doubt that.
Baby Boy Smudgie born 10/4/11
<a href="http://s837.photobucket.com/albums/zz298/triple_sevens/?action=view
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
<a href="http://s699.photobucket.com/albums/vv353/guppyamy/?action=view
Everyone else said what I was thinking. I'm glad you got a BFP and credit God all you want. I personally believe that is where all blessings (including babies) come from. It wasn't the reference to God that hurt so much, its just like Swanck said, it was a stinging reminder that our prayers weren't answered yes. There is hope for some of us still (though not personally for me). Like I said yesterday, I don't htink you meant it that way but to someone who is still struggling it comes across as "you aren't good enough." That is why I hate it when so many people say all the stupid things they say to people who have suffered a loss (I.E. "God's plan" "count your blessings" God has something better for you". etc). They all sound pretty hollow when you are still waiting.
PAL/PGAL Welcome
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
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