SD starting pre-school, best way to handle additional cost?

bebe11 · February 2011

Last night my H told me that his ex-gf wants to put SD(5) in preschool and she asked if he would split the costs. What is the best way to do this? Get a new CO drawn up, pay his portion directly to the school? I ask because it isn't stated anywhere in the court order about splitting shcool/day care costs.

Currently CS is based on H only having SD 7%, and at the time everything was drawn up BM wasn't working much, at all. Her income is listed as $1300 a month. Therefore taking all that into consideration, H pays $1,250 in CS each month. My first response is that he should get it in the CO, and also re-evaluate the amount of CS he pays, based on BM working a full time job? A while back she agreed to lower the CS because she is working now, but then said that he needed to go through the court so it is "fair", so why should this be any different?

I totally agree that he should spilt the cost of childcare/pre-school, but my concern is more that bm is working, so I think he should go through the court to make it "fair" as well? And he is also getting SD way more than 7% of the time now.

CurlyQ284 · February 2011

I think you need to go to court, there are a lot of changes that have happened and that might be the best thing. Does everyone have an amicable relationship? Could you try mediation? For us, the mediatio is done by a judge and he calculates it through the same formula they use in court but its cheaper and informal and it works for us since we all play nice.

rayres · February 2011

I would be very careful about going back to court to get CS reduced because BM is now working full time. I?m not sure they will take her full time job into account. I?m pretty sure, they will look at your husband?s income and NOT consider the fact that BM now has a full time job. CS is supposed to be a certain percentage of the income no matter what the custodial parent makes. It could end up with your H paying more than he already does now.

CurlyQ284 · February 2011

Really? It matters in the state that our CO is filed in. They calculate BMs and DHs income and everything is divided accordingly 70/30. But your DH has the child more now, so I'm thinking it should go down because of that anyway? I could be wrong.

bebe11 · February 2011

rayres:
I would be very careful about going back to court to get CS reduced because BM is now working full time. I?m not sure they will take her full time job into account. I?m pretty sure, they will look at your husband?s income and NOT consider the fact that BM now has a full time job. CS is supposed to be a certain percentage of the income no matter what the custodial parent makes. It could end up with your H paying more than he already does now.

Where we live in CA, CS is based on income (both parties) and % of time the child is with the NCP. So her income will have an effect on the child support. Plus, my H made about 10K less in 2010 than he did when the support order was first put in place.

We do have a decent relationship with BM, so we'll see. Although if he says that he wants to have the court determine things, it might push her into not being nice anymore. It's taken 2 years to get to a decent place with her. I'll give my H all the info, and he can decide what he wants to do.

ballmom · February 2011

I would absolutely go through court and update the CO. If anything, see if the attorneys will work together to draw up new papers to avoid court. I have learned that anytime money is put into the equation you need to CYA so there are no misunderstandings.

Littlejen22 · February 2011

bebe11:
rayres:
I would be very careful about going back to court to get CS reduced because BM is now working full time. I?m not sure they will take her full time job into account. I?m pretty sure, they will look at your husband?s income and NOT consider the fact that BM now has a full time job. CS is supposed to be a certain percentage of the income no matter what the custodial parent makes. It could end up with your H paying more than he already does now.

Where we live in CA, CS is based on income (both parties) and % of time the child is with the NCP. So her income will have an effect on the child support. Plus, my H made about 10K less in 2010 than he did when the support order was first put in place.

We do have a decent relationship with BM, so we'll see. Although if he says that he wants to have the court determine things, it might push her into not being nice anymore. It's taken 2 years to get to a decent place with her. I'll give my H all the info, and he can decide what he wants to do.

I would have him say to her that, "hey remember a while back when you suggested that we should go back to court to get everything written up (and fair), I think you were right and I am going to file but in the meantime I can pay half of her preschool fees but I think for documentation sake for the court it is better for me to pay the school directly...and he should ask to check out the school with her if he has legal right to do so, not saying fight over it but have an interest.

bebe11 · February 2011

Littlejen22:
bebe11:

rayres:
I would be very careful about going back to court to get CS reduced because BM is now working full time. I?m not sure they will take her full time job into account. I?m pretty sure, they will look at your husband?s income and NOT consider the fact that BM now has a full time job. CS is supposed to be a certain percentage of the income no matter what the custodial parent makes. It could end up with your H paying more than he already does now.

Where we live in CA, CS is based on income (both parties) and % of time the child is with the NCP. So her income will have an effect on the child support. Plus, my H made about 10K less in 2010 than he did when the support order was first put in place.

We do have a decent relationship with BM, so we'll see. Although if he says that he wants to have the court determine things, it might push her into not being nice anymore. It's taken 2 years to get to a decent place with her. I'll give my H all the info, and he can decide what he wants to do.

I would have him say to her that, "hey remember a while back when you suggested that we should go back to court to get everything written up (and fair), I think you were right and I am going to file but in the meantime I can pay half of her preschool fees but I think for documentation sake for the court it is better for me to pay the school directly...and he should ask to check out the school with her if he has legal right to do so, not saying fight over it but have an interest.

I think this is a great way to present it! He is going with her on Monday to check out the school.

vanessaipadilla · March 2011

I would think to just split it. But we play very nice. He helps me when i need it and I help him when he needs it. Right now I only have him pay $400 a month for my 6 year old. I don't need more than that. When she was going to day care he paid his 400 plus half of the amount that was paid for day care. The ex has recently lost his job, so to help him out and help myself out. He drives about 30 minutes to pick my daughter up from school, watch her for 3 hours then drops her off at my work when it's time for me to clock out. He then sits in traffic for about 45 minutes to an hour to get home. Since he's helping me out by watching her so i can work, I knocked it down to $200 a month. But once he starts working it'll go back to $400 plus 1/2 of after school care. Also, if he wants her for extra days he can, or if i want to have her for extra days i can.

SD starting pre-school, best way to handle additional cost?

Re: SD starting pre-school, best way to handle additional cost?

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