May 2011 Moms
bcnoelle
member
Options
Would you change your OB/GYN at this point?
bcnoelle
member
I finally started to ask some questions to my OB/GYN today because I was basically clueless and uncertain up until this point as to what sort of answers I was looking for. I've hired a doula and would like to have as few medical interventions as possible. I am not opposed to an epidural, but I think I would like to avoid pitocin if possible and I definitely want to avoid a C-section. When I asked my OB/GYN questions about what their rate of needing an episiotomy or C-Section, she just replied that I didn't need to even think about that until I was in labor. I asked her if it would be necessary to use pitocin and she said only if I don't progress normally within 2 hours of labor. She also let me know that I would not feel a difference between a normal contraction and a pitocin contraction because my epidural would take care of it. When I asked if I could eat/drink anything she said no cause I might need a last minute C-section. I just feel like her answers are very cookie cutter and she never considered that this might not be the birth plan I want. Would you try to stick with her and "break her in" or would you run to an OB/GYN who is more willing to listen and figure out what their patients want?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you change your OB/GYN at this point?
were you actually telling her things that you wanted or asking questions? if my doctor wasn't willing to listen to me, then that's a big deal. however, if my doctor just isn't able to read my mind and know that "what's your rate of c/s" means "i don't want a c/s unless it's an emergency", then I think I'd stick with her a little longer and work on better expressing my wishes.
i'd create a birth plan (a very simple, one page list of things I'd like to have happen, knowing that it could all change) and then discuss those exact points with her.
She answered the questions you asked her. She gave you "cookie cutter" answers, because neither of you know what is actually going to happen until you go into labor or get induced. I see absolutely no reason to change OB/GYN's because she answered your questions. Have you gone over your birth plan with her?
This exactly.
They are "cookie cutter" answers because they are the answers.
Draft a birth plan with your doula (like, put it down on paper) and ask your doctor what she thinks of it at your next appointment...but you've got to keep in mind that your doctor is right, you have no idea what is going to happen once you get to L&D. It is good to go in with a general idea and to have everyone on the same page of what you would rather work harder toward.
ETA your question in the tile.
After this conversation would I change my OB? No. Definitely not.
If my OB was completely despondent to my requests or questions, or refused to even try to cooperate with me, I might start looking at other docs.
You can't "break in" your doctor. They are a professional with experience doing things a certain way. And believe me, labor is not a great time to have to fight someone every step of the way.
If you aren't feeling comfortable with your OB and you think she's not on the same page as you, look elsewhere. At least look into your options, even if you don't end up switching. I had similar doubts about my OB last time and I really wish I had looked into switching more, because I was very unhappy with how she handled my daughter's birth (and I have the c/s scar to remember it by forever).
Honestly, if you want a natural birth, she doesn't sound like she's on board.
My thoughts exactly. It sounds like you did express some of your concerns (after seeing your reply here) and she isn't going to be on board with them when the time comes. I'd start researching a new doctor if it were me. GL.
Yeah, this does not sound like a natural birth friendly doc. Especially the way she wouldn't answer your question about her c/s rate--that would be a big red flag to me. Every ob/gyn or midwife I've ever asked about c/s rates has been very forthcoming with that information (and the answers I got varied widely--from 30% to 10%, showing that the provider you pick really can influence whether you have a c/s, as much as your actual medical situation can).
And I disagree with pp who said that she gave you those answers because those are the answers. There are many different approaches to handling different things in obstetrics, and they are being constantly debated and evaluated in medical journals, professional conferences, etc. So there really isn't just one right answer in a lot of cases.
I would like to disagree with your doctor saying "pitocin will make your labor shorter". I have no idea why any doctor would say that? You can't predict was pitocin will/won't do for you. I was on pit for 9 hours and it did not help me labor faster at all.
I do agree that is sounds as if your doctor may not be natural birth friendly, but I would sit down with her again and explain your needs and wants very clearly. If after that conversation you feel she is not on board with your requests then I would look elsewhere.
this doesn't really address the issue of why you want to change, however if you decide to change at this point, i don't think it's the end of the world.
only, because i decided to change ob's this week. i am at a practice where there are 7 ob's and because i was high risk, my original ob (who i had met once) wanted me to cycle through so i knew everyone. well, 4 drs. in i decided i needed to start seeing the same person each time so that they actually knew what was going on with me and i decided to give my original dr. one more try at my appointment last week (i hadn't really loved her originally, but i thought maybe it was because i had seen an awesome midwife with ds and wasn't used to how brief ob visits were). well, she asked me the same question 3 times in 10 minutes and didn't listen to my answer any of the three times. i am switching the rest of my appointments here on out and my delivery to one of the other doctors i have met within the practice.
I agree with this. If you feel strongly about trying for a natural birth I might start looking at other options. If you are on the fence about an epi, with a doctor like this, you will probably end up getting one. At least your doula will be on your side. I would try talking to her about it again and be more direct. Bring in your birth plan and then see her responses. If you still don't like the answers I would probably look for someone else.
Wedding/Honeymoon Pictures
She sounds like my primary OB- simple, short answers with no option to discuss. While this REALLY bothers me, I know my OB is REALLY good, so I'm putting up with it for the sake of LO. My secondary OB/MW is absolutely horrible (telling me I have to lose weight, etc.). I'm desperately trying to get into another practice while I'm away for work just because the MW is bad, but the OB is FAR worse (read: will refuse to see you if you weigh too much and are TTC or PG).
Bottom line: Being snotty is one thing as long as you know they know what they're doing. If you don't have confidence in their abilities, I'd find a new one (and soon!).
I agree completely. She gets asked these kind of questions every day, so I'm sure she has some generic answers for her patients. I suggest writing your birth plan down and discussing it with your doctor at your next visit. If she isnt willing to listen or help you fulfill your birth plan to the best of her ability, then I would definitely start looking for a doctor that is. I hope everything works out with this doctor. It would definitely not be fun trying to find a new one this late in the game, but you still have plenty of time if you do decide to.
When I first met with my current doctor, he briefly went over labor and said that they try to interfere as little as possible with the process. I still haven't gone into details about our birth plan, but I'm pretty confident that he will help us the best he can.
I'm with iris; this doctor doesn't seem like a good fit for what you want. If you wanted an epidural and thought pitocin was awesome, you'd be in the right place. If you didn't really have any strong feelings or interest in limiting interventions, or were content to trust your doctor indiscriminately, you'd be in the right place. You don't sound like that's how you're feeling. Staying with this doctor is going to be working up hill. You just won't be in a place to say "no, thanks" to interventions when you're in labour, and while a doula can help, it seems like setting yourself up to fail to stay where you are.
Trust your gut. If you can switch, I'd do it ASAP.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
Yep. To be honest, I think a lot of people underestimate how hard it is to have a nice natural birth in a hospital with a doctor who doesn't support that way of birthing. There are a lot of powerful factors working against you like the hospital's culture, the departmental policies that are out of your OB's control, the rampant fear of lawsuits, etc. It's really not that easy to go into a hospital and say "no" over and over when you're in labor and someone's telling you that doing things your way could put your baby at risk. It's easy to say "I'll only accept X when necessary" during a prenatal appointment and another thing to analyze how necessary it is when you're in labor and you don't have a medical background.
I'd be very surprised if you had a natural birth with a doctor who thinks Pit is "great because it speeds up labor." Or who won't have an honest discussion with you about when they do c/s. It's possible, sure, but I would be surprised.