A basketcase after history of miscarriage

CvilleMom2be · February 2011

So I've had 2 miscarriages (16 wks, 8 wks) but subsequent testing showed I have don't have a higher risk than anyone else of having a miscarriage--I just fell into that unfortunate group of people where miscarriages just happen.

Now that I'm pregnant again, I am a BASKETCASE. EVERYTHING is making me freak out. Between the constant sensation of having to pee, having cerival mucus, and having bad gas pains/gas, I am terrified of seeing blood everytime I go to the bathroom. Is anyone else in this position? I feel like I'm CRAZY, though I think most people would think the fear is rational. I'm so worried that I'll continue like this for months, especially given that my first miscarriage was a second-trimester loss.

love_melongtime · February 2011

I can't imagine how hard it would be to miscarry at 16 weeks...

I'm sure your fears are completely rational. This is my first pregnancy and I feel obsessive over every ache/pain and also check for blood every single time I go to the bathroom! So considering how obsessive I am, I can't imagine being in your shoes. So you are completely normal for having those feelings, just try to have faith that 'whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.' Hang in there!

CheesyPeas · February 2011

You're not alone. I'm hoping that once I make it past the point where I lost my last little one, I'll be able to relax some. A lot of gals on the PgAL board say that they won't be able to relax until they have their healthy baby in their arms though. It's completely normal. I definitely recommend checking out the PgAL board as well as this one. There are a lot of girls over there that know exactly what you're going through and can reassure you when you start freaking out about something.

Roxyroodle · February 2011

I swing between worried and hopeful but I know that from 12wees-20 weeks I will not feel safe I lost my 1st at 17weeks it sucks.

I have been going to pregnancy support group and a new parents group and trying to treat this pregnancy as normal as I can. I just keep thinking that this is a different pregnancy and it doesn't mean that we won't have a baby in October.

hang in there.

aandg · February 2011

I had two early losses before I got pregnant with my son. I worried EVERY.DAY. I was so afraid to let myself get excited. I didn't start planning the nursery or buying anything until almost the third trimester. I felt like I got robbed of a "normal" pregnancy experience (being happy and excited, planning, etc).

I can imagine that your nerves might be even worse after having a later loss. All I can say is remember that Today you are pregnant and you love your baby.

Will your doctor monitor you more closely after your losses?

Jonique · February 2011

I think you are completely normal! I miscarried in November and only at 5 weeks and I am constantly checking...unfortunately, I have been spotting for the last week and I am going crazy. Just take one day at a time, that's what I am trying to do!

kpowersw · February 2011

I'm so sorry for your losses. Unfortunately, I don't have any good advice for you...but I've been there too. Our last m/c was at 17 weeks and it was awful. This time I've spent most of my time numb or trying not to think about it. I think PP's suggestion of a support group is a good one, and I'm going to look into that for myself.

I hope you can find some comfort. (((HUGS)))

Junebug060609 · February 2011

You aren't alone in being a basketcase of worry now that you're pregnant again. I think we all have our moments.

You might be interested in the Pregnant After a Loss board. I don't think I've seen you over there & I think you'd seen pretty quickly that you aren't alone in your fears at all. Also, some of the ladies who had later losses might be able to share suggestions with you for calming fears.

crystalknpp · February 2011

I feel the exact same way! After my two losses, especially after having an ectopic, every twinge, ache and pain makes me nervous. Everytime there's CM I run to the bathroom just waiting for the spotting to start! I'm trying hard to just stay positive and enjoy this pregnancy! I'm keeping everything crossed that 3rd time is the charm for us both!! ((HUGS))

mellymel12 · February 2011

You are definitely not alone!

I check every.single.time. I go to the bathroom....wondering if "this is gonna be it". Its very hard not to worry or wonder if everything will be ok. I'm already having a hard time connecting with my pregnancy. I WANT to be 100% so excited over the moon happy, but I find it very hard to be. I almost feel stupid for being hopeful. I guess that's what a miscarriage does to you.

As hard as it is, just TRY to stay positive and take each day for what its worth. Our babies lives have already been determined...worrying or freaking out isnt going to change anything you know?

Hang in there!!!

babes12 · February 2011

not alone. I lost my second son due to unknown complications right after he was born at 32wks. and then had a missed m/c. during the 3rd pregnancy i had myself in a panic and didn't know what to do w/ myself. This time around is much better b/c i'm seeing an RE so i've been seen often.

If i wasn't seeing an RE i think i'd have to talk to my ob about my pregnancy anxiety b/c there's no way i could go through that again. Maybe your ob could suggest something for you, or could offer an early u/s. ((hugs))

akabillups · February 2011

I know exactly how you feel. Our first miscarriage was at about 10 weeks and it was a missed miscarriage and we had a D&C. Our second miscarriage was even worse because we did not know I was pregnant (I think I might have been about 7-8 weeks pregnant) and my husband had to rush me to the hospital because of all the blood I was loosing. This is our third pregnancy and I am terrified. I am so sorry for your losses, especially in your second trimester. My prayers go out to you.

triple_sevens · February 2011

This is my third pregnancy, too, and I am also a nervous wreck. My first was a missed miscarriage, my second a very brief chemical pregnancy. The past month has not been emotionally easy, but I'm seeing my therapist once a week, which helps. And having an RE (so getting frequent check-ups) also helps. I'm also going to be seeing a high-risk OB practice, which should provide a little peace of mind, too.

I think we've just got to grit our teeth and get through it and know that when we've got that baby in our arms, we'll be the happiest and most grateful parents alive.

itsmegin · February 2011

It is very hard not to be nervous after a loss. Have you checked out PGAL? That board can be very helpful as everyone there is in the same boat as you. There are also a lot of ladies here who have had a loss, or two who can relate.

Just remember, "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby."

phishphood · February 2011

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm just trying to live in the moment, pregnancy-wise. It seems to be helping some, but I'm honestly still a nervous wreck.